Please help me!!! I'm struggling

OK.. So I've been off plan for a few weeks after my Daughters accident (fell down stairs carrying a glass got stiches in her knee and a nasty upper arm break)

I weighed in Monday to a rather large gain... And tbh on the day thought I could turn it around ok...but

I just can't do it! I'm struggling to stay on plan or even Plan anything for that matter I'm over eating badly. And all the wrong foods..I'back.on excessive amounts of energy drinks just to keep me going through the day!!!

I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and just sobbed... I look vile! I feel vile!! I won't let my fiance touch or see me undressed atm... Worst of all my wedding is in 11 months... And I don't want to get married.. Not limee this... Nobody has had me in pics for a good 2/3 years St family events... I see a camera and I'm off I even took s picture of me with my baby nephew off Facebook as I look so bad...

Please help me... I need it I just don't know what to do anymore ='(

Last edited by

17 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Be kind to yourself, you have had a rough few weeks when all your energy has been taken up with caring for your daughter, now you have a break and all those pent up emotions have come rushing at you like a steam train and knocked you flat. Give yourself a pamper day, do something you really enjoy to set yourself up to climb back on that wagon tomorrow.

  • Thanks for replying just wish I could get a grip on myself today..

    Thing is I know my other half doesn't care how I look.. But I really do I wasn't small when we got together but I am 5 stone heavier!

    Maybe your right may be the emotion once scything that's been going on hitting at once... I just want the willpower to loose weight so I can be a good wife and mum =(

  • Your other half sounds lovely, tell him how you are feeling and that you need a big cuddle today and help to get back on track tomorrow, perhaps he would join you in a regular walk or swim session.

  • He really is amazing I have Degenerative Disc Disease and have been pretty much housebound since December... He sorted everything.. Carers.. Childcare all while working full time... I think he knows how I'm feeling... But just doesn't know what to do.Hav txt him telling him I'm having a down day just so he knows... He'll come home later and be all snuggly =)

  • You sound a bit depressed to me; you probably need to address the underlying emotions and anxieties that are driving you to comfort eat. Once you feel more "in control" and less like a runaway train, the ability to plan and control your food and drink will become so much easier.

    Can you find a friend (or a professional even) to discuss your worries and day to day issues? Don't only focus on your weight - that could be more of a symptom, rather than the cause of all your problems, and which can be resolved, but you need to find out what is causing you to feel as helpless as you do.

    Make a decision today, now, to take control of your life. Get in the driving seat and make choices; choose what to eat, what not to eat, what to drink and what not to drink. Plan your day to fit in some activity; don't be afraid to ask for help from friends and family to give yourself some "me" time. Start to value yourself; have a nice haircut, wear the prettiest clothes you can find (check out the charity shops if money is tight) and tell yourself that you are a beautiful butterfly, just waiting to emerge. Don't look backwards...just forwards to better things ahead!

  • Thanks for Replying I've had Depression since 2007 (hospitalised twice) unfortunately the GPs awnseevto it is... We'll up your medication =(

    You comment however I did find motivational.. I do need to get control of my life just need to figure out where to start

  • Sorry to hear you are feeling so down. I am not sure how your GP's surgery works, but for me the most important thing about dealing with my depression was find the GP, and then the long term locum at the surgery, who I felt I could relate to, talk to honestly, and who truly listened, gave me time when I needed it, and talked through all options so that I was always happy with the way forward.

    In a longwinded way, I guess I am wondering whether there is a different GP in your surgery you could see, or even whether any GP at your practice has a particular interest in mental health issues.

    Glad to see you hear speaking about how you feel.

    A suggestion, try writing down for the rest of the day, anything that makes you even a little happy, and any success you have - from the love your fiancé has for you, to putting one less spoonful of food on your plate.

    And remember, it took time for you to learn the bad food habits, and it will take time to learn new ones. Don't go all out and expect to cut out all the energy drinks in one day (unless you really can) - cut down the numbers, make them last longer - keep doing that, and soon they will be gone. Don't set your targets too high, and feel you are failing - you know that won't help. Make sure your set yourself up to succeed. :) Been there, done that, and will still do it, but at the moment I am fortunate enough to be in a place, and on the right medication, to see how many times I have tried to do too much, too soon, and written myself off as a failure.

    Keep writing. :)

  • Hey, its okay. Things like this happen, we all fall off the wagon once in a while. The main thing is to not beat yourself up about it. If you get angry with yourself, you'll find it harder to get back on.

    I've fallen off the wagon today, my period has gotten the better of me and I've had 2 chocolate bars in the last 20 minutes! But I'm not gonna be angry with myself. I know why I did it and I'm gonna find ways to circumvent it next time.

    You've got 11 months till you're wedding (Congratulations by the way! :D ), you've got ample time! So don't freak out too much. You've had a bit of a shock with your daughter, and you've had to look after her. And as @MW50 said, all that emotion is probably hitting you right now.

    Don't be ashamed about sobbing at yourself! A good cry is actually good for you, sometimes that really helps with the emotion.

    I would start with small things, don't go large, don't decide I'm gonna change everything now! Start small. Maybe pick up a banana or apple instead of a chocolate bar. If you're gonna eat that chocolate, try an apple instead. Maybe go for a little walk. A lot of small changes will eventually lead into one big change.

    But please don't beat yourself up :( Go get a face mask, have a nice long bath and just take a few breaths and love yourself for a minute. In the words of Ru Paul "If you can't love yourself how in the hell you gonna love somebody else".

    You got this, I believe in you!

  • Thankyou for Replying I'm gonna start with the Red Bull see if I can go today without one.. As I know there bad for me and I have a problem with them.. I was doing well with that before so step 1. Cut out the fizz and back to my water 💦 x

  • If you find that caffeine withdrawal is also an issue (headaches and all!) maybe you can try swapping your Red Bull for black coffee or (strong) tea. As others have said it can be hard trying to change everything at once and going cold turkey can sometimes make things worse! Switching caffeine forms can help you wean yourself off gradually and coffee and tea (without milk or sugar) are really low calorie. Or you can have a splash of milk without too many more calories! :)

    Good luck and I really hope things start to look up.

  • Will try a strong tea I've been told I shouldn't have to much caffeine as it can Affect my epilepsy Medication. So I think that's bestbolace fir me to start

  • Don't be too hard on yourself. One small step at a time. Have Little goals, so say cut out red bull for month of sept, and who knows you might not want any after a month. And try to do a walk each day, it doesn't have to be a long walk, but it all counts.

    I am going to give it a go. So no more milk chocolate in the house, no crisps, and try to drink more water, I know I don't drink enough but I know it aids weight loss. I also know why I don't drink it. It sounds silly but if I drink more I'll need to loo more and after three kids my bladder doesn't work so well (lol) and if I am out and about I worry about not having a loo close by. Silly really.

    Anyway together let's make small changes from today , 1 st September. X

  • Fresh start today got everything planned out. And a meal plan for today I think getting the eating under control has got to be a main priority.

    Thankyou for supporting me x

  • Oh sandycox 😕 You are being very hard on yourself 😢 You are so much more than a number on the scales, and you are certainly not vile 😢 You are a warm and wonderful mother and fiancé for starters ❤️

    I agree with this Quinntuppance and VickyDLM and the others, You need to take this one step at a time, just focus on eating proper food and regaining control, accept a STS or even a gain for a week or so until your home life and emotions gets back onto an even keel. The numbers on the scale are just one measure of health. Write down the successes you have, smaller portions, taking a walk, refusing an energy drink, focus on positives, 😊

    Thinking of you, very best wishes 😊

  • Hi sandy

    Please don't be upset you can do this you know you can ,your not vile at all just a little down , but hey just take one day at a time you can do this

    First thing get yourself a book so you can Wright down every thing you eat

    Don't put nothing in your mouth unless you have weighed it and counted your calories eat only things that grow on a tree or out of the ground , as well as fish chicken and a little red meat , ditch the drinks have water with a slice of lemon in it , it is very refreshing.

    If yiu do this you will loose the weight , and you will be a stunning bride on your wedding day ,

    Hold your head up high love you can do this

    Don't let it beat you

    Come on girlie we are all a friendly bunch on here and we will help you all we can ,for that very special day , you are beautiful yiu just need a little help like us all we are all in the same boat.

    Start today yiu can do it !!!

    Good luck

    Pam x

  • Thanks I've now got a book to track everything gonna take this one step at a time xxx

  • That all sounds really overwhelming. I really feel for you. Something that wasn't your fault has thrown you off track. It's really difficult when stuff like that happens, and you should be feeling really proud of yourself that you're trying to get back on track.

    My suggestion would be to pick one thing to tackle first. E.g. quit the energy drinks or make sure you have a vegetable with each meal. Whatever you think you can deal with: just choose one thing. It doesn't have to be a big thing, it just has to be something you can do and know you did. When you're happy you've got that under control (and it doesn't matter how long it takes, just that you're working towards it), pick another and get control of that too.

    Bit by bit, success by success, get a hold of all those things that are stopping you from seeing yourself as the lovely person you obviously are. You can do this.

You may also like...