Lost weight and lost friends

When I embarked on my lifestyle change I had no doubt I'd lose all the extra weight, I knew it was going to hurt and I knew it wasn't going to happen overnight but what I didn't know was I was going to lose friends in the process. One of my colleagues with whom I'd indulge in huge portions of chicken and chips with always makes silly comments when she sees me eating a salad for lunch "boring salads" she'd laugh. I am now 22lbs down from my starting weight and her comments keep getting nastier by the day, some days she brings in these massive takeouts into work then hides herself in the office and eats. Never have I ever judged her or spoken towards her diet however i feel her bitterness towards me makes me want to reconsider working for this company.

71 Replies

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  • Well done!! 22lbs is a big achievement!! Don't let anyone's negativity get you down, you've made a healthier lifestyle change, some people are just jealous and too quick to judge. The hard work is paying off, hang in there! Can't you complain to the higher ups, as this is a form of bullying!! Why should you leave your job, you've done nothing wrong! The colleague should be ashamed!! Congrats on your weight loss so far, keep going!! πŸ’ͺ🏼

  • Thank you so much I really appreciate it :) I have thought of complaining to head office about this, at first I thought it was all in my head. Worst part is she's the company's deputy, oh well. I suppose that does not make her behaviour right, I will do something about it. She's not the only one who has something to say.. one of the guys always purposely asks ke if if i would like some of what he's eating could be a cheese sandwich or any sort of high carb meal. Before i could wceb say anything he'll always say mockingly "OH I FORGOT YOU DON'T WANT TO GET FAT" one time during a meeting he offered me a digestive biscuit and before i could say anything he joked "oh i forgot you're on a diet" -___-

  • I think the best thing you can do is to ignore them. Obviously they are envious. If you complaint, maybe everything will get worse. Are they worth you getting upset? Enjoy your being healthier. That is what is important.

  • Sad that she can't be happy for you. She's probably feeling bad about herself and letting it out on you. Perhaps try to drown her comments in kindness and friendliness. In my experience bullies are people who are feeling insecure themselves. She might just really, really want to join you on your weight loss journey?

  • Crazy enough. She always asks random questions like "so what do you eat?" I never knew if she's just being nosy or she genuinely wants to know. I've seen her reduce her portion sizes everytime I'm around and when I'm off from work she's back to big portions.

  • It's a funny thing with some friends that you imagine will be pleased for you when you've quite obviously lost weight and you're feeling good about yourself. I've noticed that those friends who want to lose weight are the ones who aren't able to be generous I guess because you've gone ahead and done what they want to do. There's a lot of envy and self hatred clearly coming out with this woman, those signs of wanting to be in control, changing portion sizes and asking what you eat are definite signs of wanting to be with you on this. Don't let her get you down, you're doing brilliantly and she's the one with the jealousy issue. Take her questions seriously and laugh off the sarky comments but your weight loss is your success and no one can take that away from you. Well done you!!

  • Thanks for the lovely advice..I will keep this in mind

  • Maybe change the subject away from food as it is boring keep talking about it, maybe chat about family, even the weather can be preferable than endless talking , moaning about what you can/ can't eat. It's more important that your life changes suit you not everyone one else and what you do or eat is your business.

  • I don't talk to them about my diet. They make these comments on their own and that is why it bothered me. I have never not even once said i was on a diet, the only time i talk about food is when i'm asked.

  • Mseuphemia

    Love so very pleased for you losing all that weight you must look fantastic a very well done !!! I bet you look so much nicer in your clothes now.

    As for the people in your work it's sure jealousy don't take a bit of notice of them ,But if it continues then complain to your boss that is bullying ,we don't like bullies there is just no need for it .

    Anyway it's not just about being overweight it's about being fitter and healthier if they want to eat greasy food and block up all there archery in there heart that's up to them ,you want to be healthy and live a long life with no health problems if they can't see that then they are idiots!!!!!

    You hold our head up high when you go to work , your looking good

    Well done you

    Have a great day

    Pam x

  • Thank you so much Pam. This is very sweet of you :) regardless of what they say my body is definitely thanking me for treating it better.

  • Mseuphemia

    Way to go girlie , Hold your head up and walk in work with a smile n your face and a new lippy as a treat,

    Have a great day , you deserve it πŸ’ƒ

    Pam xx

  • Keep up the good work! Well done.....ignore the people who cannot rejoice in your success....they are either envious or were never your friends in the first place. I lost one of my best friends because of me losing diet and her not being able to. I didn't mind but she could not face the fact.

    Don't give up! You will be happier and healthier if your so called friends can not support you well it is their loss. πŸ˜ƒ

  • the only friend in life is yourself and it's your best friend, buddy's for life.

    when people around you see change or the want to change, they will admire you or hate you.

    Many are just comfortable or not comfortable, they don't have the courage or the want to improve their lives, doing nothing is easy, and what you have done is the first step in taking charge and been your own hero.

    Don't ever let what people or what they think bring you down, that is the whole idea.

    Hold on to your guns and do not give up because then they have won.

    Your doing this for yourself and no one else.

  • You have not lost a friend, a true friend would be supporting and rejoicing for you. What you have done is found a jealous, mean minded work colleague.

    Do you like your job? If so try to ignore her and carry on with it. Her behaviour smacks of bullying, ask her to desist, tell her if she can't say anything supportive not to say anything at all. If she continues, speak to a senior member of staff or PR and ask them to talk to her

    If you are not that bothered about the job look for a different one but whatever you do do it because that is your choice

    Well done on your weight loss so far and good luck with continued success. Keep in mind the health benefits you are reaping and maybe sympathise with your ignorant and glutinous work mate xx

  • I agree with the others, firstly well done, and secondly it is probably jealousy. If she questions you again perhaps point her in the direction of the 12 week plan.

  • well done with your fantastic loss. It is simples, you are a winner and your "friend" is a loser. Avoid losers they are bad for your health.

  • Firstly congrats on your weight loss to date. Well done and even more so if you're getting negative /snide comments too! When my children were young I told them to ignore bullies as there is nothing worse than for them not to get a reaction. You can do this much more easily as an adult. Give a huge smile when they cone up with these crass remarks and they won't understand what's going on! :-) :-) I know it's hurtful to think they are trying to undermine you but you will continue to succeed and they have their own issues to deal with. Don't waste energy on people who don't deserve your time. You do not need their approval or their assistance - you are achieving great changes all by yourself :-) :-) Re the job - don't make hasty decisions based on them ..... If YOU want to change fine if not then again don't allow them to influence you. They are not worth it!!! Sorry for long lecture .....

  • Wow 22lbs is fantastic. Well done 😊. People can't always cope because you have made a decision to be healthier and have put the effort in to do it. What you are doing is outside your colleagues comfort zone which is why they resort to this sort of behaviour. Sound to me like the lady envies you and would like to do what you are doing but she has to work towards making that decision for herself. You are doing great so look after yourself and do what you feel is best for you ☺. Good luck xx

  • She is jealous and childish.Don't let her get to you.

  • Keep up the good work!

  • Hi don't be distracted from your diet plan your friend sounds a very sad person because she would probably like to lose weight herself but can't muster up the willpower try to be patient with her and maybe she will follow your example and be more friendly.

  • I wouldn't leave even though it's awkward and it hurts. By not saying anything makes you the bigger person, and if she's hiding her food she also has a problem. I would say she's jealous of you. Just you keep going. Chin up, as my used to say.

  • Wow. I didn't think I would receive so much positive reactions especially because the only person who has been pushing me to eat clean is my GP. God bless her.. Thank you all so much for the kind encouraging words, it's so unfortunate the people of today would rather have you overweight and battling all sorts of diseases than to see you happy and in a slimmer figure. It took me 10 months to finally gather up the willpower to change my eating habits and it took me months till i started seeing results. I will never let anyone bring me down again because i certainly didn't get this far for nothing :)

  • Ohh no! What you are doing will encourage her in the future. Keep going, she will soon realise you are in it for the long haul.and will start encourage you. People usually turn nasty or jealous because they can't do it themselves...m keep going

  • The influences of others on what, when and how we eat is significant. When I started (successfully) working towards a healthy weight I didn't realise that it would have such a negative impact on friends and in particular family. This is a topic the health professions, press and media need to focus on when they continually bang on about obesity. Sounds like you may well have to find a different job, move on and make new friends. I read somewhere that 'successful people' avoid 'toxic' individuals.

    Good luck with your lifestyle change it is worth it now and in the future. Don't be deterred by your current situation because your health is number one priority.

  • I don't understand why you losing weight should have a negative effect on anyone, and if it does the problem is theirs. And as for health professionals 'banging on' about obesity, they are doing this for many good reasons, they are hoping to reduce the number of people suffering from Disbetes, Strokes, Heart attacks and many other health problems associated with being overweight both for the individuals benefits and the enormous call on NHS resources

    Well done on your achievement

  • You clearly miss the point. Does the following sound familiar?

    Can you just eat up this last bit of dinner?

    I bought you a cream cake it is in the fridge

    You mustn't waste food (waste not want not)

    I can't stand the stink of onions

    I don't know how you can eat that

    Consistently say no to the above and people start to get annoyed with you.

    As kids or as parents we are all familiar with, "If you don't finish your dinner then there is no pudding" That's when we learn it is OK to overeat in pursuit of some sort of reward!

    Peer pressure needs to be recognised by health professionals. They also need to deal with the bigger picture instead of preaching a load of simplistic rules with too narrow a focus.

    I am now a healthy weight through my own determination, and the support of like minded new friends. I eat healthily but on the rare occasion I have too much on my plate I leave it. However, I have to deal, on a daily basis, with the anger of those who think that my insistence on eating healthily and no more than I can manage, interferes with their lifestyle. That's reality for a lot of people and needs to be taken into account if the health and resources issues are to be dealt with effectively.

    If you still don't believe me then consider how the advertising industry is successful. They achieve their goals by 'influencing' people not simply presenting facts.

  • I'm sorry but I am still missing your point. That is not you having a negative effect on others by choosing to eat healthily rather them trying to have a negative effect on you.

    As far as the issue of government advice on the worries of obesity I would suggest that they are doing as much as they can by giving people the facts, advising on how to achieve healthy weight loss and education in numerous areas.

    It's not a question of not believing you, it's a question of my interpretation of the facts being at variance with yours

  • We are all susceptible to the influence of others. It is this peer pressure that is NOT being addressed by the Government or other agencies. Over the past 15 months I have had to be very robust in dealing with the unhelpful influences of others. As you say other people are negative about healthy eating, which impacts upon others. So what is the health camp doing to combat this problem?

    The facts and information is out there. However, people take things literally and distil things down into simplistic rules rather than learn and develop. Also the messages sometimes result in the wrong things being learnt.

    I do not disagree with the core message but am suggesting that the means of enabling people to take control and become healthy (for life) needs to take into account of how individuals can be educated to deal with the often tiny pressures which have a detrimental effect on their health.

  • And how do you propose that other people can be influenced to refrain from negativity. They have the same information and advice available to them as do those who choose to make better choices. This is so typical of the nanny state influence that the people of this country have come to expect. You know the facts, take control of your own destiny and be the one to forward the message about healthy eating and the dangers of obesity, don't just sit back and expect others to do it for you.

    And before you say that it is not that simple believe me I know that. I have been the lead of a local healthy living group (voluntary) for the last 9 years. To enable me to do this I undertook study with the OU on human nutrition, obesity and various other health related courses and now share my learning with others.

    Don't just sit back and expect others to do it, get out there and spread the word about the benefits of a good diet, regular exercise and a healthy weight

  • You still miss the point. I would be interested in what you believe are the barriers to individuals taking control of their own destiny and more importantly the strategies for dealing with those obsticles? Also how effective are you in sharing your learning? How do you know if people have learnt what you intended them to learn? How do you know whether they have not learnt things that were unintended which undermine the intended outcomes?

  • How do I know whether my classes are successful? Possibly the number of members that continueto attend, the new members that they introduce, and the mere fact that it has successfully run for 9 years.

    I don't think that there are any barriers to people taking control of their own destiny apart from their own reluctance to do so. Not wanting this to sound rude but you are a prime example.You know the benefits of a healthy lifestyle but are more concerned with the negativity of others than in giving them a positivitySitting back and asking what others are doing about it, what the government are doing. In return I will ask you what are you doing about it? What are you doing to educate others?

    Don't sit back and wait for others to do it? Get out there and spread the word yourself

  • Thank you for answering my questions concerning the impact of your teaching. Your response is pretty much as I expected. Yet you (along with so many in the 'business') fail to grasp the impact of cultural influences towards eating and food. My point is that unless this is addressed then the NHS and others will not make the inroads into the associated problems.

    Also your posts have effectively demonstrated my point to a tee!

  • I hate to disillusion you but I am not 'in the business' as you put it. I lead the group, which is a self support group, started by a group of ladies who had weight problems, many of whom had lost weight, several who still had more weight to lose. I was one of those ladies. We were helped to set up by the Health Visitors, who then disappeared from the scene. I had no more knowledge than any of the others in the group but for some reason, better known to them than to me I was asked to lead the group as it was felt without a lead we would just me, drink tea and chat. As I said before I had no more knowledge than they did so I set about obtaining the knowledge I needed. I undertook study with the OU which covered the subjects I had previously mentioned plus studies on Public Health, which covered the influences of education within the Health Field.

    I am still not 'In the business', I have learnt a lot, I have also passed a lot of my learning on to others. It is not my group, it is the group of the members, we share knowledge amongst ourselves, and spread our knowledge amongst others in our families, friends and associates.

    We meet weekly in a centre where others get to know about us, many have joined over the years, many have left but we like to think that those that have passed through our doors have learnt something that they will share with others.

    And could you just clarify what that point is that I have demonstrated to a tee?

    I reiterate, I am not 'In the business' I do fully appreciate the problems of peer pressure and the negativity of others. What I am trying, with little success, to get over to you is that it is the responsibility of us all, as individuals, to help to educate and advise those who we come in to contact with of the benefits of a healthy lifestyle and a good diet. The NHS and the Government can only do so much. We need to take ownership of our own health and hope to help others to do so too

  • Annde, IGNORE this moron. You do not have to justify what you do or how / why you do it.

    The UK is knee deep in 'Nortodd' types who need their bums wiping. Perhaps once we have escaped from the EU they will be forced to get off their backsides and fend for themselves again.

    Congrats for your POSITIVE involvement, and for helping others.



  • Merlinthe hammer, thank you so much. I have rather felt that I am having to justify myself, and to be honest that is not a feeling I like. Nortodd is obviously so ingrained in the nanny state that she, like so many others, expects 'them' (presumably the Government via the NHS in this instance) to do everything for her, and is unwilling to accept any responsibility for herself or anyone else.

  • Well done !!! Just one thing ...anyone who torments people just because they want to change and friends , don't you change you work just because of some ignorant comments !!!! They don't deserve friendship from you !!!! There nothing but food bullies... keep up the fantastic work and reap the benifits and show the m you KNOW what you are doingπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ˜ŽπŸ˜Ž

  • Well done on the 22 pounds! That's a great achievement ;D

    I think your work friend is conflicted. She's still your friend; we usually feel comfortable being mean to those we are close to. You've changed the rules of your friendship by losing weight and she hasn't adjusted to it yet. It sounds like she would probably like to lose weight too but she's focussing on what she probably sees as her own failure (if she's 'hiding' in the office, that's a sign she's upset) and forgetting to congratulate you on your success. This doesn't necessarily make her a bad friend, we all get caught up in ourselves when we feel bad about ourselves. She probably assumes you know you're doing great and don't need more positive comments -- it's not nice, but it's easier to be generous about someone else's success when you're enjoying your own successes.

    If that were my friend, I'd take the high road for a while and pretend the negative comments and behaviour aren't happening. I'd laugh as if she's made a joke, and try to ease the tension around diets and eating. I wouldn't outright suggest joining me on the diet, but I'd bring in healthy treats or lunches that can be shared, and ask if she wants to try some. I'd laugh off a 'boring salad' comment and say 'it's much nicer than it looks, why don't you have some and try it'. I'd probably still indulge in a huge portion of chicken, but without the chips (maybe that's where I'd bring a side salad and offer to share). I'd try to give her something normal to cling to while she adjusts.

    Good luck. It's really difficult when you've done so well and it seems other people are hating on you. But it's just a sign of your success. Don't let it sabotage you, and I hope your friendship survives and work gets better.

  • I feel for you but you know you're not in the wrong here, it is her problem.

    A similar thing happehed to me . Not a work colleague but quite a good friend (whom I thought was more of a friend than she turned out to be! )

    When I first started to lose a few pounds she was ok but joked about how she'd always lose a pound and gain a pound. She said things like: " you'll find the same", "you won't keep it off, you like your wine too much", " it is not a good look to lose weight at our age" ( I was 62 at the time ) .

    Then one day we were out for a group lunch, we ALL had wine but she ordered chips and I ordered salad...she kicked off saying that I was no fun and totally "obsessed" with it, she even tried to tell me that MY partner agreed with her !

    We parted under a huge cloud that day and neither made much effort to repair it. That was 18months ago and I have lost (and kept off ) my entire 30 lbs excess. My GP is pleased, no more BP medication, my partner is truly proud of me, and so are my REAL friends.

  • Just give her a big smile every time she says or does something nasty and good luck on your weight loss journey.

  • As one who isn't still on the long path...

    I find that bad comments hurt if you let them.

    Easier said than done I know. Prepare your self with a few replays.

    Eg. When comment is 'oh I forgot you can't have this' designed to exclude and make you want what they have. Instead of being hurt retort 'thank you for the offer, it's not that I can't have .... I am choosing not to at the moment' cheese sandwich or chips comment on a salad , laugh and say 'yes salad is gods punishment for good life choices'

    I am sure others could come up with better funnier comments.

    Perhaps even that is the answer to weight loss.. We all take ourselves too seriously.

    If you try and turn it round And make a joke the hurt and the power should change. Ask any comedian, many started out by defusing bullies.

    Good luck. Don't let .... Get you down. We are all cheering you on.

  • I was thinking of a similar approach funnily enough. I'm not sure I'd go down the bullying complaints route yet.

    Well done for your weight loss and don't let it get to you.

    So to the man with the biscuits I'd be assertive and say: "Manners please. Offer me the biscuits again just the way you do to everyone else, without comment." And then I'd either say Yes thanks or No thanks as i felt like, and say "It's my decision, not yours. No more comments please"

    I think the other person has very mixed feelings by the sound of it, and you are not responsible for them. I think I'd take her questions at face value, and answer them (or not) as naturally as possible. However I think I'd also be assertive as above if she makes derogatory remarks about the above, such as "Please don't comment on my lunch; it's out of order. I wouldn't dream of commenting on yours" and move away if possible to minimise the chance of an escalation.

    Good luck anyway. There are no easy answers, and only yu really know your situation and colleagues. It's their problem basically and not yours.

  • 22lbs is a brilliant loss,well done! :-) Anyone who jibes you like that for your achievement and willpower is not a true friend.True friends encourage and support.Maybe she is just envious? Stay strong,you are doing so well :-)

  • I think that your colleague is probably in a very dark place at the moment. She knows deep down that what you are doing is what she should be but can't. Eating junk food in private is a sign. When we are jealous of success, be it a better house, car, holiday or healthier lifestyle we lash out and that is what you are on the receiving end of. You see, 22 pounds is a significant weight loss and people will be noticing. I bet you are getting some second looks and double takes because people are realising how fantastic you are looking. It is jealously with a tinge of regret that she could be where you are now, if only she had followed your lead. However, I am a great believer in leading by example. Keep eating healthily and brush off the negativity. Eventually there will be an acceptance that this is the way you do things now, regardless of comments. In the future you may very well decide to change jobs to further your career. This should be on your terms and not because you feel pushed into making a decision though. Xx

  • Well done for the weight loss and not giving in.

    People can be strange and more often than not don't like change. That is their problem not yours, don't let their comments or actions bother you. It is their loss.

    Good luck in the future


  • Personally I would tackle the comments and explain that you find the words hurtful and that you would prefer her support and continued friendship.

    My guess is that this person is experiencing jealousy and insecurity that they might lose you (especially as the commaraderie was based on the shared experience of food which you no longer have).

    Your rejection of unhealthy food is rejection of her choice of lifestyle.

    She perhaps does not have the strength and will power to do what you have done which lowers her own self esteem.

    Invite her to join you on the health kick.

    If she does you have an ally.

    If she does not, then let go...

  • Hi, Well done on losing 22lbs! It's not nice to deal with negativity from 'friends', I mentioned I was going to try and lose weight when I first started this back in April and haven't mentioned it since, have lost 17.5lbs but not 1 'friend' has commented on it, I even posted photos on here to see if you guys can tell! Sometimes people just don't want you to change, they are a bit afraid of it, it unsettles them, they want you to stay as you! Just be your normal friendly self so they can see that even though you are shrinking you are still you!

  • Sounds familiar . Ater I'd lost a stone ( half way) four slim friends noticed and congratulated me. But two ' plump' friends said absolutely nothing ... and still haven't , other than to say " don't lose any more, it won't suit you" !!!

  • She's insecure and probably not happy with her weight but she enjoyed have an ally she could eat naughtily with. However, she was not a friend in the first place if that's all she felt she had in common with you. If she can't support you or at least keep nasty comments to herself then be thankful she's shown her true colours. All this shows is she's not happy with herself and seeing someone else improve themselves makes her realise she has no excuse but instead of facing up to her own issues it makes her feel better to try and make you feel insecure.

    I wouldn't let her ruin your working life; if her behaviour continues then try to politely ask her to keep those type of comments to herself and if she still does not listen think about talking to your line manager or other superiors. She's being a bully and just like schools work places have a duty to ensure you do not feel threatened or ridiculed in ANY way.

    Continue to eat healthy and move more and make a point of being really happy and polite when you see your colleague, because that's all she deserves to see you as.

    Good luck,

    Sazkia x

  • WELL DONE FOR LOSING 22LBS!!!!!!!!! that is a fantastic achievement you should be proud of yourself as for your friends they really are not your friends at all, take no notice of them they are so jealous of you just carry on with what you are doing it is worth it , think about it this way you are getting healther were your your health will in prove and they well not being nasty but your friend will have alot of health problems if she carries on eating the way she is so don't let them put you of may you should find new friends, if i was your friend iwould so happy for you and ask what you did to acheive that weight lose i woulld so proud of you keep up the good work.

  • Well done on losing 22LBS!......after reading your post I felt angry for you, I GOOD friend would support you, not put you down, I can only assume she's jealous because you've done well and she thinks you're showing her up. Ignore her negativity, carry on with what your doing, laugh at her sarky comments (Not easy I Know!!).........this is HER problem not yours!!

    There are plenty of positive people on here for support, again well done & dont let her win, because overall YOU'RE THE WINNER! ......sending love xxxxxxx

  • Wow!! I hope everyone at your workplace is nothing like the above two colleagues you've mentioned... Stay strong, don't let it affect you πŸ’ͺ🏼

  • Well done on your weight lost. I agree with Hanna_Kim. It is a form of bullying but I think it is really more the little green eyed god of jealousy than anything else. You have achieved something and she can't accept it and be glad for you.

  • Don't let her bother you it pure and simply jealousy that's her problem move above her and let her get on with it , tell her your changing your shape but it's a pity she is stuck with her nasty personality .

    You keep up the good work honey and well done πŸ‘

  • Well done for losing 22lbs that's a great achievement and you should be proud of yourself. If that was me I would just shrug my shoulders and laugh it off.

    Perhaps eat alone at lunch time so you can enjoy your lunch without your friend making nasty comments sounds like your friend has found a weak spot and using it on you, I'm not saying you are weak but your friend has found a way to upset you because her weakness of not able to lose weight and achieve what you could so instead she's founding out where you'll fail and managing to get you upset.

    Sometimes when we achieved a goal and are happy about it not everyone is going to be happy the main person who should be happy is yourself even if others don't as long as you are happy that's what counts, now you've got another goal to achieve the biggest goal is to ignore negative comments and don't let it upset you no matter how bad they are your friend or anyone else will soon give up.

    Well done on your weight loss.

  • Aw that's so sad. Please please please don't let this negativity spoil your motiviation. It may be that your colleague just isn't in "the right place" to address her own weight issues & she may feel frustrated & envious or even angry with herself & may be taking it out on you. Seeing you losing weight may be like holding up a mirror for what she herself may like to look like or be & she may feel really frustrated that she can't quite get there... yet.

  • When someone has said something like 'you can't have this, you're on a diet' I reply NO I'm not on a diet, I'm just eating healthily due to health issues. I don't go into details, but it takes the wind out of their sails.

    After 8 months of trying to eat healthily, my friends have gotten so used to what I will/won't eat that no-one says anything, in fact the two closest have started eating fruit snacks with me rather than having cakes, they are both slim and don't need to, but see the health benefits for themselves! Also I recently realised that they are proud of my loss, I heard them talking to other friends about how much slimmer I look, (sounded like proud parents) πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

    So keep going, there's lots of great advice from others here, but I just wanted you to know there's light at the end of the tunnel πŸ˜ƒ Only going to add, don't put up with bullying in any form, if it continues take it to HR.

    Good luck πŸ€

  • I think real friends would be happy for you. Your colleague is just jealous. I had the same thing. Being told I needed some meat on my bones by an overweight "friend". Be proud of yourself and ignore negative comments x


    I was once an emotional eater, the first thing I'd do when upset was eat and when i received good news I'd eat even more. Looking back at it now I feel awful for treating my body the way that I did, i was raised by a man who hated nothing more than leaving food on your plate. Whether it was only just a spoonful or not he expected you to eat EVERYTHING off your plate or next time you are hungry he won't give you anything to eat. Because of that i grew up with this habit of always finishing what is on my plate until recently when i trained myself to chew slowly, put my phone away when eating and never sit in front of the t.v when eating. I know it sounds like a lot of work but it does pay off. I learnt not to reward myself with food everytime i lost 4.4lbs. Instead i got dressed and went out for a walk, this helps me appreciate how far i have gotten. I don't necessarily buy new clothes all the time because i haven't quite gotten to my goal weight. I believe losing weight is something we must first deal with mentally and there are certain habits we must get rid of unfortunately this also applies to people. Some people are good for you and others are toxic. My flatmate always bakes these delicious looking cakes every week and eats one whole cake on her own in just 2 days, one day she asked me what my secret was and how i am losing so much weight. I shared everything with her and she congratulated me. She baked a cake last week and it's been over 5 days she has only had half of it. I bet she might just decide to chuck the rest away..

  • The friends that walk away were never friends in the first place just jealous individuals who have no self control themselves. A true friend encourages, helps and supports you so you can change for the better and vice versa.

    I would say this person has an inability to control her eating herself so indulges in bad foods as she has no self control she has to control others and when she sees this control slipping away as in your case she reverts to nasty comments etc.

    I would ignore any negative comments and if this increases in your working day have to put a complaint into head office or her superior.

    You are doing fantastically well and I am sure you feel so much healthier and better for it join, it's your life live it the way you want to, you don't have to take rubbish from anyone I am afraid if it was me I would take so much then the volcano would explode.

    Good Luck hope hints quieten down for you and keep up your good work at least you have self control lolπŸ’–πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘

  • Nothing to add - you've had some excellent advice. Just wanted to say congratulations and they are only doing it because they are jealous and secretly want it for themselves.

    Sadly what they still don't realise is, they can have ANYTHING they want, they just need to eat it in moderation πŸ˜„

    All the best and good luck with the rest of your journey 😊

  • Maybe try and have a sit down chat with her. Explain 'each to their own' and one should not see the other as a threat. You are doing this to improve your wellbeing & health. Hope this helps:)

  • Brilliant achievement well done look how you have improved your health and wellbeing! You must feel better for it! Someone's jealous remarks are insignificant by comparison. It's not a problem just be pleasant friendly and rise above it! If it's really upsetting you perhaps a new hi new start is the answer but it seems s bit drastic. You will know in your heart what you would really like to happen. You could say I hope it's not getting to you that I am trying to opt for a healthier diet because I am worried about my health and feel I need to do something about it. Someone one said to me yesterday when are you going to start drinking beer again as they were fed up of me not being as I was I just said Christmas Day! It's not my problem. Perhaps they are not a real friend after all.

  • You have done very well do not let anyone pull you down if she is a friend she should be happy for you and be encourageing you to succeed. Maybe she feeling jealous knowing how hard you've worked and what you,ve achieved thinking she can't do it for her self but unless you try just like yourself you will never know.

  • I agree, just smile sweetly and carry on with your excellent weight loss. Sounds like they are a bit jealous of your success. Do not even think of changing jobs. They will get fed up soon enough if you " keep calm and carry on "

  • This is such a shame - she is obviously doing it because she doesn't feel good about herself, and your success and commitment is highlighting that she is rather out of control where food is concerned. Hopefully her attitude will actually help you dig your heels in and keep going with your new regime.

    I'd suggest just try and be pleasant to her and don't rise to any provocation. She's chosen her way of eating and you've chosen yours.

    Don't change jobs just because of this - but your weight loss might give you the confidence to move on to a better job anyway in due course.

  • What childish jealousy

  • Well done on your achievement . You clearly ooze happiness and healthiness - and sadly some people become jealous or unable to cope. Perhaps unknowingly (by your new image) you highlighted some weaknesses in these 'friends' or highlighted the fact that they also need to address their lifestyle. You have the upper hand. Be strong. You're doing great.

  • You should be really proud of yourself and your fantastic achievement so far, we'll done you X don't let someone who is jealous and doesn't have the courage to change her habits put you down, she is the loser not you! Some people keep saying they want to change but don't have the courage to put a bit of effort in - you did and it's paid dividends, keep it up, jgnore the comments and continue with your life changes, go you and keep on changing for you xx your are the important one, not these so called 'friends' xx

  • You have done really well 22lbs wow. She is no friend just very childish she ought to grow up and the very least support you. Don't leave your job because of her only if you feel you need pastures new. Keep going you are amazing!!

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