A little bit more complex, for me anyway

This may sound odd, so apologies......If I get a compliment about my weight loss I struggle with it. It actually does the reverse for me, I can revert back to overeating. I know why and it is complex, it's all about not deserving to be slim because for me that equals me looking better. Anyone else struggle with comments or compliments and wish people actually said nothing so you can just carry on in your own little way, doing it for yourself (and in my case my Doctor)....!

7 Replies

  • I can trace not feeling normal (weight wise lol) back to being a teenager, my sister was prettier and slimmer than me sometimes would tease me just as siblings do, my mum would say " well if the cap fits", actually I was extreamly healthy, sporty and well toned but I couldn't see that just a fat blob so I turned into one. Not any more it has took me years to build confidence for myself, ironic as my previous job was to build confidence in others, but there you go. Sometimes the way we are bought up sticks in our minds you are second best, you are not worthy, think back there will probably be a trigger a comment someone said etc, truth is we are all worth it, we are all entitled to feel better, healthier etc, the next time someone tells you you are looking good accept it graciously they are probably a million miles away from the person/people who have triggered you're unacceptence of compliments. You are working hard for yourself miamia and deserve recognition for it so. YOU GO GIRL👍😊⭐️

  • Thank you...

  • From people you love it's a tribute. If there are any others, how great to make them envious of you, at last. But it takes so long to realise our current smaller size. The lovely surprise of realising what size we really are now. Makes up for all those other changing room moments, the horrible ones. We will just have to learn to be gracious.

  • I can definitely sympathise with this, though I think we have different reasons. Only a few people have said 'ooh you've lost weight!' (i've only lost a stone so far and have one and a half to go) and when that's happened I've felt awkward about it because I interpret it as a criticism of how I looked before, like a tacit acknowledgement that I was really overweight.

    But at the same time, I have at times kind of expected more comments, and can feel disheartened if no one says anything but I think I can see a real difference that day. Of course a lot of people that I know would never make any comments about a person's weight, positive or negative, because it's none of their business.

    Basically, I'm never happy about it! I have self-esteem issues anyway, so I shouldn't be surprised that that's my reaction...

  • Yes, I do, although I find its not as big a deal as I'm getting smaller which is nice!

    When I first started and people noticed I was horribly embarrassed and would shrug it off. End the conversation there and that was that. I think, for me anyway, it meant accepting the size I was before and the fact that that people had noticed me. I was always happy blending into the background so people wouldn't notice me. Stupid isn't it? As if I could be missed!! II'velost 6 stone one but I still have more to go. I've found that although I still woukdnt have an actual conversation about my weight yet, I'm happy if people ask me a couple of questions about it. There's even been a few compliments now and I was secretly very pleased 😄

    So keep doing what you're doing. I suspect you may end up feeling the same way in time.

  • I have struggled with my weight all my life. I lost about 5 stone in my twenties and was slim for the first time ever. I hated people pointing it out, as it felt like my weight high or low was all people ever saw. Several years of bulimia and yoyo dieting later, I still hate it. I am working through healthy eating and exercise but still feel my weight shouldn't be of interest to anyone. All I can suggest is that you try to accept it then discard it. Getting healthier the key, don't let yourself spiral downwards back into bad habits.

  • It's amazing how our mood takes over how we feel about eating sometimes.....

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