What was your trigger?

For you, what point was it when you said I've got to do something about my weight? What made you do it?

Mine was being so stressed about going to a friends wedding, having to dress 'nice' and being around other people. I was so shy and self conscious before. I actually spent the months before hoping they would split up and cancel the wedding so I wouldn't have to go. Isn't that an awful, selfish thing to say? And I have never ever admitted that to anyone.

Even though I managed to lose 3 stone (from 18 stone) before the wedding, I was still 15 stone and the day before I still hoped I would end up getting hit by a bus or something on the journey there. That's how unhappy I was about myself and my life.

The wedding was July 2015, I've since lost another nearly 3 stone. I'm going to be meeting up with them in August, same friends I haven't seen since July. Looking forward to being skinny this time and NOT being stressed about seeing them!

16 Replies

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  • Wow Osiris275 what a moving story and to lose 6st to date be proud of yourself so very proud I would say⭐️⭐️⭐️. I have been on and off dieting losing and putting weight back on all my life but plonked the weight on drastically over the last 10 years through having a car and not walking anywhere enough. My turning point came after 4 terrible years. I lost my only sister to breast cancer, my dad took an overdose but was OK as he couldn't cope with my mum who has Alzheimer's so I left my job to help him, at Christmas my husband was diagnosed with MS and I had a mini breakdown. I saw how people around me were using me for what I could do for them and were not bothered about how I was, I realised that I had put on another 3st during the 4 years due to depression of my situation and ignored myself, so light bulb moment, 💡 start looking after yourself before it's too late, that is how I got to my trigger to lose weight but it has a knock on effect you start to feel fitter, want to exercise more, actually go out and therefore you sleep better so it is a win win situation. Sometimes we are too busy looking after everyone we forget ourselves so I say to all of you out there spoil yourself a little because you are worth it. It will be nice to hear everyone's own personal story. Your friends will be in for a lovely surprise when they see you in july👍

  • Aw sorry to hear things were so tough. It really sometimes does help to hit rock bottom as things can only get better.

  • What an awful time you have had. My story is similar although no where near as awful. When I was first married I lost over 3 stone. The marriage was far from happy, a husband who had, if only he would admit it had a drink problem, and was hopeless with money and thank God it finally came to a natural end, but it gave me my fantastic son. Even ending it had problems I brought up my son single handed with no input either financial or physically from the ex. My dad a had a heart attack and was ill for years. My mum was offered help from neighbours etc. with lifts to hospital but insisted that it was down to "family" i.e. me and my brother. Dad died and from then on mum became more and more needy. The weight piled on, I did manage to loose some when my blood pressure rose to the level that needed medication. Mum help started to go downhill and I had a mini breakdown. I was convinced that I would not make my 60th birthday. We got mum in a home because when I threatened to take her leave her at the council offices someone finally realised I had reached the end of my tether. I started to loose weight but then had a bad cold last November and piled on all the weight I had lost because it wiped me out. I went to the doctor in March was horrified that I had put on so much weight and was pre-diabetic. That was it! I decided to put myself first for a change and if necessary be as selfish as it took to turn my life around. I exercise more, think before I eat (well mostly), I've lost nearly a stone and a half. I have a spreadsheet on my computer named never look back where I keep a track of lots of things and I hope I will only look back to see the old me and be amazed at the new me!

    PS - I'm now 61

  • Oh roberval you have truly had just as bad a past as me. I know what you mean when parents say it's down to family, that was the case with my dad but family was only me, I kept begging him to let me ask the grandchildren to help but he said they have their lives to live (obviously I hadn't) you don't realise how bad you are getting mentally till you lose it, I wasn't even sleeping till 4 ish in the morning then up at 7, worried also about my husband and my dad's increasing demands, eventually we had a huge fall out hasten to add I have not seen him since, he still looks after mum who is getting even worse and has drafted my niece into help now ( obviously she now doesn't have a life to live) I am glad you have managed to sort your life out a little you should be proud of bringing your son up alone, do you see much of him? Is your mum still in the home? Never go back to what you were, sometimes I think if you are good natured you get put upon then when you react against it you are cast aside and it hurts doesn't it. I am sure your son must prefer the new you, keep looking after yourself be proud you have lost a stone and a half now is your time to concentrate on you. I am going to use your motto Never Look Back and put it on my cupboard to remind myself to leave the past where it should be in the past. If ever you feel like a chat just send me a message take care onwards and downwards😊👍🌸

  • Thanks for your message. I see my son fairly regularly, he is currently in Cambridge (not Uni). I haven't seen him since early April so he has not see the thinner me. There is still a very long way to go. Mum had two falls last year within 24hrs and is now in a nursing home. At Christmas she didn't know me and my son when we visited. We have good days and bad days. Last week was her 94th birthday and I couldn't get in over the weekend but strangely I didn't fee racked with guilt.

    Take care, good luck.

  • Never look back is a fab spreadsheet name which I shall borrow shamelessly. Good luck to you. I've been very self indulgent with food and drink this week so it helps to read your stories and remind myself that we are all here for the long game.

  • Fantastic journey Osiris275 😀 you have achieved so much and all your friends are going to be so shocked and happy for you!!!! Well done x

  • Very inspiring Osiris275. Interestingly, my trigger for weight loss is also a wedding up coming soon. I want to look good in whatever I decide to wear!

  • Fantastic journey, and so inspirational. My journey really started with me turning 40 this year which hit me like a brick! I have never been slim but feeling so low just turned into depression, I got to the point that I was fed up of crying myself to sleep, and fed up with putting a brave face on for everyone. I had withdrawn so much I didn't recognise myself!..sitting down with my family was the hardest thing and telling them how I really felt was like a weight had been lifted. Having my husband join me on my journey to get healthier was an added bonus, My journey has only just started and like so many others have tried diet after diet and lost and gained weight back and more each time making me feel low. This time feels different some how...time to get the old me back :)

  • Osiris275 what a great story and I think we have all had those dreadful self-obsessed thoughts.

    My journey started when I was 7 and my mum put me on my first diet. I've had a hate hate relationship with my body since then and have fluctuated from a size 10 to a size 18. A couple of years ago I got back on the exercise track big time and managed to get down to a size 14, run a marathon, and then a (mostly) size 12. But last year I had breast cancer and like most women with that I have ended up bigger than I was before I was ill. So something in me snapped when I got back from the holiday in the picture and got on the scales and saw numbers I hadn't seen in several years and I'm now on week 4 of the NHS scheme. It's hard to articulate quite what it was: it's as though I spent some months just being glad not to be dead but now I want more than that, I want to be the fittest me I can be.

    Two things feel different for me this time:

    I'm not thinking of it as a "diet" so if I slip I've had a less healthy day and there's no reason not to get back to normal tomorrow. (If this is for life there's bound to be the odd glass of wine and meal in a restaurant). That's making me less resentful too.

    It's great for me having the virtual support of the forum (probably also a blessed relief for my family and friends).

  • Hi fleur64

    Firstly well done on your battle with breast cancer there is no point worrying about weight when you have that war to win first, also good on you for taking the healthy step towards a fitter you and at the end of the day life is for living and being happy more than anything, keep up your fantastic progress you are an inspiration thanks for posting👍

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  • Good luck

  • So many amazing stories! It will be wonderful when we all reach our goal

  • This is so inspiring! I will be so happy if I demonstrate even half the determination and motivation you have!

    I started putting on weight while I was at university. What is strange is that in my first year of uni, I was incredibly skinny. However, I experienced difficulties in my second year, namely disputes and tension with the people I was living with, and finding out I have dyslexia, both of which led me to loose my self confidence. I turned to food as a result and consequentially, started to put on the pounds.

    I think the light bulb moment came for me when I went through my wardrobe and couldn't find any clothes that would fit me! I started to avoid going out with friends and family because I was so embarrassed, and still am to an extent.

    It took a while to figure out the point at which I started to comfort eat and to understand the reasons behind it. When I figured it out, I felt more relaxed and felt I could finally move on and start dieting and exercising more often.

    The weight is coming off slowly and some days are still hit and miss, but I feel more determined to get myself feeling and looking the way I did in my first year of uni! Its great to hear everyone's story, and celebrate the journey we are making to better ourselves. I am so glad I came across this forum, so supportive and inspirational :) xx

  • Well done, a fantastic achievement.

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