saying no thank you isn't always easy

I've given up refined sugar for 9 months now and I do get a feeling of well being, satisfaction and 'well done me'.....If I slipped I would be disappointed in myself and I don't want that feeling, at all. It is sometimes very hard when offered a special cake in the office that someone has made/bought and I say thank you,but no thank you. This happens quite a bit and I do feel bad and a bit self righteous, I can feel a sense of 'for god's sake, it's just a cake' won't hurt. Yes it's true one wouldn't hurt, but, it means so much more to me.....


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9 Replies

  • I know exactly what you mean miamia, but the way I look at it is, would a "friend" offer a recovering alcoholic a drink and say just one won't hurt, or a recovering heroin addict a "fix" and say, just one won't hurt?

    I don't think so and I think your continued refusal shows good sense and fantastic willpower.

    Keep up the great work! :)

  • Thank you. All sorts of emotions are tied up here. Yes I don't want the sugar/calories, unhealthy product, but equally for me it's the satisfaction of not having it and the discipline of saying no. I need that...It's a real focus for me. I know this may sound strange but I LOVE to watch the baking programs on the TV where they make all the cakes and deserts, I just know I won't eat them, but I love to see them being made. I sometimes think what cake/desert would I eat if I did....and then I say oh no......!!! Watching the program is almost like enough for me, I don't need to eat them....

  • Just as I love to bake with my grandchildren, but I don't want to be a slave to my sugar addiction, so I get pleasure by proxy :)

  • Hi Miamia,

    Well done for giving up refined sugar for 9 months now, that is really great! Good that you've got a sense of well-being and feeling proud of that achievement. You've described a very common dilemma of 'how to say no' - I find some days are easier than others in terms of responding to such things.

    I was talking to moreless about this the other day, in terms of trying to cope recently with a meal out - and planning my meal as I went along, and then the waiter brought 'extra unexpected food' which was an entree of olives, salsa and cracker breads - my friend was tucking into these, and I felt I should 'join in' despite not wanting to add those extra calories. On that occasion, I didn't say 'no' - I just decided to eat a small amount, and also rationalised that olives and salsa are healthy anyway, so I'd enjoy the taste and compensate in other ways. But if it had been a sugary cake that the waiter had brought, I think I would definitely have said that I was avoiding sugar and therefore would like them to return the cake. I think I would also have said 'no' in that circumstance.

    The thing is Miamia, it's always your choice, and maybe over time people will get used to you declining the sugary cakes at work, and hopefully you will feel more comfortable about your decisions and preferences as you also get used to saying 'no' more often.

    Good for you!

    Lowcal :-)

  • I don't know if this will reassure you or not miamia. I haven't had sugary food for about three years. The last thing I had was high-cocoa content chocolate, and that stopped because it was making me constipated, and I reasoned it wasn't doing me any good.

    It was more of an evolution over many years; I stopped listening to the societal norm of 'anything in moderation', 'a little of what you fancy' and started thinking of food in the context of being delicious AND providing what I need, NOT spiking my insulin.

  • That's great that you have given up refined sugar compleatly.

    I have not managed to yet but I have not eaten any cakes or sweets brought in to our office for well over a year now though I always say thank you for offering. Most people have stopped offering apart from the one I sit opposite who sits there ohhing and nom nomming. I don't say anything because if it had been a piece of garlic bread I would be in difficulties but I could not care less about cake : )

    I think when people know you are doing it for health reasons, heart problems, it's not a good thing to be doing anyway.

    It gives me a confidence boost to be able to refuse sugery food and I refuse everything because if I give in once it will be a lot harder to not give from then onwards.

    I always have a mandarin after my dinner and have that to look forward to cos I love them : )

  • I slipped into this one by accident but it does work really easily. I don't like icing, too sugary for me, it actually makes my teeth ache. So I always cut it off. Or refuse the cake on those grounds. Fortunately most cakes are covered with it these days, so it gets me out of most of them. In a previous life, we did manage to train one lot of co-workers to bring fruit for the slimmers! Could you start a new trend?

  • I'm the same as Venus on this one - hate icing or any commercial cake/ biscuits so it's easy to say no because people know I just don't like it. On the very rare occasion someone might bring in a home made cake that has no icing and isn't too sweet I will have a little piece as it almost never happens! Ignore your colleague opposite, if she's genuinely enjoying her cake she doesn't need you to join her, and if she secretly wishes she had your will power you're helping more by sticking to your decision ☀️

  • Just to be quite clear, Fran, I don't want to get rid of icing. I want more of it on everything I shouldn't eat! Had some one else's home baked cake recently and was amazed at how un-nice it was. Practically flavour free and dry! And this from a noted local home baker. It's like being inoculated, hopefully!

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