Hi all! This is probably my first ever post in which I address my problems from an emotional point of view. Firstly, after my holiday I have gained 2kg and now I have 'only' 10 weeks left to lose 10 kg to go back to my standard weight of 60kg. (Although my actual aim is to lose about 3-4 kg after that). I cannot fit into 90% of my summer wardrobe and I am going on holiday in 10 weeks. Buying new clothes is not really an option for me. I remember last year during my holiday I swore I will go back to my 60kg self, and now the fact that I was 'slacking' for almost a year suddenly hit me. I am living in the same jeans/shirt universe. Yesterday I went clothes shopping (even though I could not afford it but I needed new stuff) and when I looked in the mirrors I could not belive my eyes. I know what you are going to say: the mirrors cheat. Yes they do but not this much, and never in my life I had to buy size 14. I know what you are going to say again: some people would like to be size 14. I appreaciate that, I really do. And no, I am not giving up. Tonight going for a run ( I am doing runs 3 times a week now!), and I finally had a very stern conversation with my other half about him unintentionally sabotaging me etc. This 10 weeks will be very hard now.... I need support mroe than ever. Yesterday was so TRAUMATIC. I nearly cried in freaking Primark. If you ever read my posts and comments you know I am very positive and bubbly. I know how much I achieved this year: 4 month without cigarette, without sugar in my coffee and the fact that I started to exercise again after almost be years of a break must count. But it was not enough and for the first time I wish to scream: IT IS SO UNFAIR! I cook fresh food every day. I am not lazy. But today I just want my virtual family to give me hug and say it will be alright. Peace out peeps, keep on shrinking.
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