Feel like I'm failing

I'm on week 7 of the NHS plan now and I keep gaining/losing the same few pounds over and over.  I struggle to stick the calorie limits because of emotional issues surrounding food.  I rarely get my 5 a day and haven't once managed the 150 minute exercise per week.  I have a very hard time altering habits due to an anxiety disorder (change is hard).  I really can't stand the feeling of being hungry and so I overeat to avoid that feeling.  

I'm really starting to lack motivation.  I need to lose weight desperately (currently morbidly obese) but I find it very difficult to stick to things (I eat way too much junk food currently but don't want to cut it out all together if possible - I'm awkwardly attached to it).  

I see so many posts on here saying I'm on week 5 and lost 8 - 10 pounds or however much and I want to feel happy for them but I'm just so angry and frustrated that I haven't been able to do the same.  I feel like I've really let myself down (have been trying and failing to lose weight for over ten years) and I was really hoping this plan would help me to finally change how I was eating.

I am massively a creature of habit and I feel like I need more of a structure / consistent eating habits so that I already know what I need to eat.  I can plan out a week of healthy meals for a week perfectly well but then I feel so restricted (by not being able to eat whatever I want) that it never lasts long.  

Any help or suggestions would be very much appreciated.  I just don't know what to do anymore. 

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13 Replies

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  • Don't try to change everything at once, that is a recipe for disaster.  Just choose one thing you are going to achieve today, no matter how small, and be really happy with yourself when you achieve it.

  • Hi, sorry your feeling so down. I would try and do things a day at a time, when you plan your meals try and include something you really like plus some fruit or veg so you do try and get your 5 a day, and drink plenty of water. Try and go for a walk everyday, it makes you feel good, even if you can only do a short distance to begin with you can try and increase it every day and be proud of yourself for doing so. Once you start seeing  a difference on the scales and the way you feel I am sure it will give you more incentive. Good luck.

  • Hi natz 😊 sorry your having a bad time of it. Changing your whole eating habits will be hard and I whole heartedly agree with caz28 and mw50 it will take time. Try to tweak a few things a day at a time and it will get easier. A lot of weight loss is about self control and self belief. It won't happen overnight. You've put on the weight over years and years and I it may take years for it to come off. Believe in yourself and you will succeed 😀 Good luck x

  • Hello and sorry you are struggling 😊 Like the others have said, these new habits take a while to create 😕 Try to focus on what you HAVE achieved, do you weigh less now than when you started? 

     I certainly didn't lose weight quickly, I averaged 1lb a week initially, then settled down to about 1/2 lb a week, just over two stone in 8 months. I did this by cutting back enough to make a difference but allowing for weaker moments, I didn't put the weight on quickly so can't expect to lose it quickly.  Concentrate more on changing bad habits, tackle one thing at once, reduce sugar for example, or add one new vegetable a week. Then try just 10 minutes movement, dancing is great fun, anything 😊 

    You only need to take small steps 😊 But these add up to a successful journey 

    Very best wishes 

  • Thank you so much for all of your advice.  I think I need to focus on reducing the amount of junk food I'm eating in between meals and trying to go for a walk everyday, even if it's only 10 minutes.  You guys have made me feel quite a bit better :)

  • 😊❤️😊

  • Hi there tr going to Jessica sepal on Google, she has an eating plan with no guilt! Fabulous "nice cream" fruit Veges cauliflower rice, it's great no calori counting with this if you stick to it.

  • Maybe there are a few of the junk food items that can be swapped for a healthy but tasty lower calorie item?  I agree that small changes and setting small targets is key.  Focus on healthy lifestyle (nutritious food and some exercise) rather than weight loss?  All the best!!!

  • Yes been there, Natz994.  I think I hit a plateau every time I went down one of my stones.  And there were 5 stones for me to get to goal.  One of my friends said some of those lbs must really love us as they keep coming back!  Just keep trying different things it will happen, often when you least expect it.  

    I think you may be concentrating on what you can't have when maybe you should be thinking about what you can.  You are having trouble with the 5 a day.  Maybe just think about getting them in and then you can tick that box.  Bananas are a great fruit, partly because they come ready wrapped in individual portions.  Why not add one to your day?  What follows is all about bananas, so if you don't like them skip the next 3 paragraphs!

    You could have it chopped with cereal for breakfast.  If you like a fry up then, fried banana is quite nice, or you can make it into pancakes by whizzing it up with a raw egg, some oats and milk.  A tablespoon's worth makes a nice little pancake.  I fry them slowly as they burn quite easily.  

    A mashed banana makes a nice toast or crumpet topping.  And if it is a meal rather than a snack, then it could top peanut butter or Nutella.

    As well as topping some sugar free jelly with a chopped banana or adding it to a low fat custard, frozen banana makes a great icecream.  Take the skin off and snap it a couple of times then wrap in cling film and freeze.  When you want to eat it, take it out of the freezer and let it soften a little and then mash it up or whizz it.  You can add some vanilla, if you like. 

    Another way to add some fruit is to have a fruit yogurt.  They can be frozen too and take ages to eat that way.  It would be a better fruit option if you added your own to plain yogurt.  Remember if you're eating fruit in an erratic way, you can use the canned (in juice and drain the juice off) or frozen.  This would mean you always have some to hand and it won't be going off.   Some of my friends really like to freeze their grapes for a TV nibble.  So that is another thought.  

    If you are going to eat takeaways think about adding a veg at the counter.  If you go to the chippy, try some mushy peas or baked beans, maybe a pickle and have the  smallest portion of chips.  If it's a burger or chicken day, think about having some coleslaw, corn on the cob or even onion rings.  You could switch from takeaway versions to supermarket versions.  Nearly all the foods you love from the takeaway can be bought frozen these days and heated quickly at home.  This would still make your favourite foods available but just switching to a frozen version is likely to cut out a lot of the fats that the takeaways add by deep frying.  

    Just try adding a fruit and a veg to every meal.  The fruit can be a pudding, a starter or even a later snack.  

    For veg, soups are a great way of adding them in.  Almost any soup, even the meaty ones will have added veg in them.  But check the pack.  Home made soups are really easy to make.  Just a couple of pints of water, 2 stock cubes, a chopped onion and whatever veg you fancy simmered for 20 mins makes a soup.  The veg does not have to be fresh, you can use frozen or canned ones.  They even do frozen chopped onions these days.  If you added a handful of 3 or 4 frozen veg, you would be getting your 5 a day just from that.  Adding a couple of cans of chopped tomatoes, is always good.  Also any type of canned beans are great in soups.  

    Don't forget that ready made salads and pickles all count towards your 5 a day.  As you get used to eating the salads, you may want to start making your favourites at home.  There are lovely recipes on the NHS site and if you google low kcal salads on the web, you will see loads of ideas.  I like those bags of leafy salads you can now buy from the supermarkets.  Everyone in this house has a favourite.  But I would never eat them without dressing.  There are loads of lovely low fat mayonnaises, salad creams and salad dressings out there now.  

    One thing you might want to try is going to a salad bar and just having a taste of all their options to see which ones you like and which combinations suit you.  This could be at somewhere like Pizza Hut or one of the big supermarkets.  This could also be a way of sampling various fruits too.  

  • some very good advice

  • Oops, posted by accident above.  Sorry to go on and on.  But I do feel for your dilemma.  It is difficult to change the habits of a life time.  But you have done so well to change your eating a lot for 7 weeks, I would hate to see that thrown away because you have hit a bump in the road.  You have learned so much.  And we can be with your every step of the way.  If we throw lots of ideas at you, some of them may sound do-able.  Just pick one or two and try them.  Let us know how you get on.

    Best wishes 

    Venus

  • There's lots of good advice in the replies to you, and I am sure they will all help you. It sounds like a lot of your problems are in the way you think, my son has just been reading a book on positive thinking, yes I know that sounds daft, but he suffers from depression, and since he has tried positive thinking, he is so much better, with help from the doctor too. I've just had a 6 week viral infection, and he'd ring me to see how i was, and I'd say, "I'm fed up it's been 2, 3, 4, 5, weeks now, and i still have it, but after having a good chat with him one day, I tried to think positive, well, I'm not stuck in bed unable to move now, and the cough has gone, little things, and I'm sure it helped. i am better now, by the way. 

    I do sympathise with you, bless you. But like the advice already given, try a short walk, some day I will put my coat on if its blowing a gale, and go out even if only for ten minutes, and the wind in my hair and on my face its so exhilerating. Moving around while the adverts are on the television, doing stretching with your legs and arms, while watching tv too, it all burns calories. 

    As for your relationship with food, maybe just for a couple of days, get one meal right, say breakfast, whatever you like, but count the cals and write it down. I find its very important to have snacks counted and readily available from early morning, so i am not tempted. Then after a few days do the same with lunch, then main meal. 

    So much good luck for you is coming your way, best of luck, and a big hug x

  • Liking the just sort one meal a day idea, roseyjaytay.  Sound advice.  

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