Having a hard time

So I went from a size 20 to a 15-16. It took awhile but now I am really struggling. I tend to eat my feelings. Biggest source of pain is I finally met someone who is not the same type of guy I usually date. He was wonderful. Because of reasons out of my control he's leaving and im heartbroken. Of course I don't deserve someone good is basically how I feel.  

Yesterday I ate so much junk, a hamburger, burito, coke, cake, a hotdog. It was bad. My new fat pants are tight. I'm wondering how to get back in control when I just don't care anymore? 

12 Replies

  • You do care, and you do deserve better.  Life has a habit of being crappy no matter what.  Be nice to yourself while you recover from this situation, have some pamper days, change your hairstyle, reinvent yourself into someone who goes out and gets all the good things you deserve.

  • Thank you

  • Sweetheart, please listen to me....NO ONE is more important in your life than YOU!!! I once asked my 14yr old son who the most important person in his life was and he said he didn't know. I asked him who he thought the most important person in my life was and he rhymed off his Dad, his sister, him, his Aunt....I said no its me, I'm the most important person in my life. I need to look after me first then I can look after others. Its the same with you, ok so this amazing guy won't be in your life but YOU will and you are your No1 priority. You are are a valuable worthwhile human as a single entity. Treat yourself the way you would treat someone else in need. Nurture yourself, listen to your own advice cos if you needed to help someone else you would step up. Step up for you and treat you respectfully. We are all here and we have all been there, we can help you but you need to help yourself. Take good care of you xxxx

  • Agree totally 😊

  • Echo the thoughts of Maziepops here, you WILL get over it and remember that things happen for a reason... John

  • Self sabotage is the worst demon. BUT don't do it .I am so sorry your feeling lost and so down but relationships are not easy. Hearts get broken easily and it takes a while to get your head in gear. You must remember you have done so much to be healthy and if you let it all go you will feel ten times worse. Think of things that make you smile , laugh and go out and do them .You are worth looking after don't punish yourself.

  • Nothing more to add to the excellent advice above, apart from my sympathies and good luck for turning this around and proving to the world that you are worth spending time on.

  • When my husband of 18 years disappeared off to "greener grass" I went into a state of shock and a state of "bereavement" for my lost dreams. 

    Eventually I met someone else (using online dating - can be a great laugh) and lost a lot of weight with his encouragement.  We have been together 16 years now.  I did eventually put most of the weight back on as time passed which is why I am here now .......but the moral of the story is that the rest of your life starts now .....and you can make it what you want it to be. 

    I ended up living with a much kinder and more cheerful partner than my ex-husband ever was, so be kind to yourself, look forwards and make plans for a new and exciting future!

  • Tomorrow is another day and hopefully will be burrito free  - you will eventually meet someone really great.... its natural to be  mourning is because you are a nice person with a lot to offer... 

  • Mine is a similar story to "Dartmoor D " above (except that eight months after my husband left, I met my new partner through an old work pals reunion .)  

    In my case, meeting my new man resulted in weight GAIN....new happiness, more socialising, holidays etc .... and I gained 2st. 

    That was ten years ago. Then two years ago I realised that even though he adored me, I needed to adore myself .   As others have said, we ourselves are the most important people, not those we have loved or lost. We're still happy together and Im now happier with myself too, having lost 2 st last year and kept it off. 

    Im sorry for your broken heart, but don't let one man make you less of a woman than you deserve to be. Be proud of yourself and stick with us on here to regain control of your eating and lose the weight  😊

  • Thank you all for the support and stories. It really helped. I put that cheese burger out of my mind and had more healthy orange, Granola bar, yogurt lunch.

  • I echo the others replies, I've been on my own years, and through all my efforts, have never met my yet to be other half, why I don't know , done too much and met lots! ( fate , luck or whatever )

    Of one thing I' m certain, folk can only use you if you let them, believe in you, food won't hug you , a cat is a fab companion if you can have one, lots of rescue beauties , they all need love /food/and are so sensitive............cheaper, and less hassle than the wrong man!

    Please don't binge it feels like it will fix you it won't be kind to yourself, and remember if he wasn't right, it's better for you long time, in time you'll see the bigger picture.

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