Motivation Help Self Hatred

Hey guys, I just wanted to say that I am a week into my diet! however I kinda ate a few snacks and feel really shitty now. Also every time someone takes a picture of me, I get so depressed and want to quit dieting because I think "I'm never going to look pretty." or " I look so fat." it is very depressing. I think one of the factors is that I expect immediate results which I cant get over. Every time I finish a weeks worth of dieting I expect to look like Beyonce but when I don't I just splurge eat and feel very low about myself. Is there anyway to get over this? I really don't like myself enough to believe I can get over this obstacle.


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9 Replies

  • I think the key thing is expecting instant results. What works for me is thinking of the process, of enjoying the  eating plan,  good healthy tasty and nutritious meals 😊 Try to keep busy, and concentrate on creating good long term habits. 

    This is a great forum for help and support. Good luck! 

  • Congratulations on your first week!  It is the hardest one and not surprising that you needed a few snacks to help you through it, just factor some into your diet plan for the week ahead and then you won't feel bad.

    We all want instant results and I don't know if it will help you, but I focus on being able to achieve more, exercise-wise.  When I first started exercising, all I could manage was 3 minutes on the cross-trainer, 15 minutes on a recumbent bike and my squats had to be supported by a gym ball and all I could manage was three before back pain made me stop.  Now I can do over 100 squats - unsupported, get out on a real bike for a couple of hours and have even finished week two of C25K!  To me, that means so much and is worth more than looking like my favourite actress or singer.

    Anyway, have a great week ahead and enjoy the journey - it does get easier!

  • It really is hard to get going, i shared your frustration when I started back in January. Can you set yourself a realistic short term goal, maybe to have lost 1 or 2 kg in a month's time? Then you can see some progress. Are you recording your food and your exercise? That seems to be a good motivator for me. There's myfitnesspal, or if you have a smartphone, they often have good apps.

  • Hi madison66 

    I'm sorry you feel low about yourself! It's very hard when we have low self a steam and we look around at the  celebrities! 

    Look for your good points in your self, write them down and focus on them! As you find more things about you that you like add them to your list read it every day! 

    Feel positive about the fact that you want to lose weight at the same time focus on your good points! 

    You will feel better about yrself in no time and the weight will come off! The best way to lose weight is slowly because them it stays off! It's about life changing eating habits not fad diets. Hope this helps ☺

  • Oh bless you!  I am seriously overweight, but when I start to feel down about it, I take a deep breath and put on some make up, pick up on my good points (my teeth are ok and my eyes) look in the mirror and tell myself I am a work in progress!! low fat yoghurts and fruit for breakfast is my saviour at the moment and then porridge so I feel full - at least I know then that I'm on my way to my 5 a day, so what ever happens in the day I'm that bit healthier for eating some fruit and lowering my cholesterol!  You can do this, you are a work in progress and tell yourself how wonderful you are when you lose a pound, you haven't gained and you haven't stayed the same - so you're on your way, be really pleased with every success.  We can do this :0)

  • Hello Maddison66, it's my first week too.

    I am seriously overweight, and having back pain is a reminder I have to sort myself out. Like you, I feel low and think it's going to take too long, and I'm never going to get there. However, we have done our first week. Granted, I didn't stick to mine 100% - and felt bad when completing my tracker, but I brushed that day off and started again. You cannot punish yourself and feel bad for what's human nature. Like you, I think it's too late for me - I'll sit on the bed and catch myself in the mirror and see this lump. Then I stand and realise that you always look bigger when slumped and feeling low. Just standing up and saying 'be positivie' gives you a boost.

    Trust me, it will get better. You will find you will have more energy returning, and your moods will lift. You will see the weight come off - no matter how slow, it will come off. Before you know it you will hit that first stone and realise what an achievement.

    For you to be healthy, it's going to take time so don't focus on fast results. You can do this, you are a work in progress - you have taken that first step where you know you need to help yourself, and you have made a start. Be pleased when you have a loss, no matter how small - and if you have bad days, brush yourself off and start again. You are on your way, so make the most of it and try to enjoy your journey. Be pleased with every success, and yourself. You can do this :)

  • Wow powerful words suecblue and Deb1909. I am seriously overweight too. This is week 4 for me and I've lost 4lb in the first 3, gaining 3lb in week 3, I don't weigh myself until tomorrow. But I have been doing more exercise and feel so much better, I've even noticed how my tummy is going down. 

    So as you both say concentrate on the health and positives of this challenge Maddison66, we have all and still are in my case, been in your position don't give up, these lovely supportive people are there for us. Good luck. 

  • I think that's the journey Cockneyblue, and we know it's not going to be easy. We will, for sure, have good weeks and bad weeks. I have given up in the past, as I also felt I was getting nowhere. I found myself cheating and telling folk I was doing well - when in fact I was only lying to myself. Now, putting on more weight, it has affected my health and my life, so I am more determined ... little steps in a long journey. I know it sounds daft, but even having this forum is helping. It's like having the 'voice of reason' and a helping hand all in one place. Good luck with your journey too :)

  • Hi @Maddison66,

    I am a bit task and finish myself, so I know where you are coming from.  But instead of thinking it is a task, I have done it, so where is the payoff, try thinking of it as a journey, perhaps a holiday one. 

    We have to plan where we're going and when, what we will take with us and how we will get there.  So while changing to healthy eating, we have to decide what our target weight will be.  Whether we will get there in 1lb a week steps or go for something a bit faster.  We have to plan our menus, shop for them, make them and eat the food planned.  

    If it was a journey and we had the chance to break it and visit somewhere we'd always wanted to go, we would take that opportunity even if it meant getting to our destination a couple of days later.  So that's like having an off plan meal or a drink with friends.

    Sometimes we will need a snack, because our bodies or minds need the comfort or the kcal.  If it will help you stick to your eating plan otherwise, have that snack.  If you know you will need a treat every day, include it into your plan, and make it your reward for having an otherwise good day.  

    You have to eat food to live, so it is just a question of gradually learning to make wiser choices.  You aren't naughty or stupid for eating the "wrong" things, it is just a less wise choice.  Keep a food diary and when you have time to think it through, work out why you were tempted on each occasion and what you could have had instead.  This means that it wasn't you being bad, it was you having a learning experience!

    Just to give you an example, I am at the end of my weight loss journey, I need to lose 9lbs to get back to the goal I achieved a whole year ago.  I have been eating a lot of breads and fruit.  So now I am on a low carb diet as mixing it up does help.  My usual treats are fruit, so I had an apple and half a pear one day, about a quarter of the fruit I would usually eat.  Then I looked at the carbs.  Wowie!  So now when I have that urge to something sweet I am having a large coffee with measured skimmed milk plus a saccharine tablet.  And that has worked 3 times already!  But there will come a day when it doesn't!  

    We only need to get this 80% right for it to work.  So stop being so hard on yourself.  Come back and let us know how much you lose in your first week, even though you had a couple of slips.  All of us who have lost a lot, know that you don't have to be perfect, just good enough.  It's not the slip that causes the problem: it's the not getting straight back on it afterwards.  So try to make that your first learning experience!  

    See you around on the forums,


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