Five stone to lose...again

I'm sure you've all heard this before... :-( I've lost five stone five times, plus lots of other smaller one, two and three stone losses in between.

I'm desperate now. I'm so depressed, I hate the way I look, I've no social life, I'm grumpy and just generally not nice to be around. The thought of spending another summer shut away is not a good one. I've done Slimming World, Cambridge Diet (lost five stone on that and kept it off for 9 months), Weight Watchers, My Fitness Pal... all successfully in the past. But now, I can't stick to anything for longer than a day. I start off well, but by the evening, I'm eating anything I can lay my hands on.



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44 Replies

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  • sorry you are feeling at a low point, have been there done that and have realised i need to make it a life style change not just weight loss. keep going we will get there

  • I think I've forgotten how to eat sensibly. I either starve, or stuff!

  • me too find it hard to fit in 3 meals a day

  • I'm planning all my meals before hand, then have a few snacks in the fridge, carrots, fruits etc

  • do you manage b/fast lunch and dinner?

  • When I'm at work, yes. Then I go home and eat anything I can lay my hands on! When I'm at home, I just eat all day long and it's one, long meal!

  • I plan in advance, too, as I have my groceries delivered. I cook from scratch, but it drives me potty; one pescetarian (me), one vegetarian and one complete carnivore to cater for. I'm just stuck in a huge rut.

  • sounds a bit like me, but just myself and other half to cater for cook 2 meals and it drives me mad, you have my sympathy. guess we just have to put ourselves 1st(which doesn't come naturally)take care of yourself

  • Oh Blimey, so sorry :( I thought I was bad, at least mine creeps up again.

    Have you tried hypnosis or acupuncture. You very possibly have some kind of eating disorder, some people also have the mechanism that says you have eaten enough not working.

    Have you been to your doc. I think you should and come clean, it might be you could self refer and get some talking therapy, I felt better and ready for this after a course of getting it all off my chest, well out of my head.

    On a positive note you know you can lose weight, you just have to get the right help to keep it of.

  • I've seen my doctor on countless occasions over the years... I've had Adifax and Reductil (both now banned), I've had hypnotherapy (hypnotherapist couldn't get me to go under!), acupuncture, CBT, counselling... I'm a nurse, so I should know better, really :-(

    I lost 1st 6lbs with SW before Christmas... but then it was Christmas, so it all went back on in a matter of weeks. I'm not a fan of SW, personally. They tell your to "pile you plate high... have an enormous portion of...", so I do! :-D

    I feel like a lost cause, at the moment.

  • I did adifax too for 18 months, ended up with narcolepsy and got referred to a private clinic and then did 18 months on amphetamines to stop me sleeping cos the docs could not prescribe at the time. You know you have to have it noted in your medical history because it can also cause heart valve problems, hense the withdraw, well that and narcolepsy. The doc I was seeing at the time got struck of because he was an alcoholic......

    You name it I have done it to some disastrous health outcomes. However, you, will have to do what my hubby did, I do it to some extent but don't have much to change. He was addicted to chocolate and biscuits and I never knew, secret eater. He has stayed slim for 4 years now, lots of stairs in hospitals so use them ;)

    You have 3 boxes (in your head) the first is a red box, everything you should not eat goes in there and is locked, this is a life choice its all the stuff you do not need to stay alive, including alcohol, sugar, animal fats, cakes, chocolate, biscuits, ice cream, cream you get the idea. The second box is black at 3pm that box is locked everyday regardless of whats happening. That is for all other high calories stuff, mainly carbs, all carbs. The third is a white box and that has food you can eat whenever you are feeling peckish. I have veg and sugar free jellies in there. Now hubby had fruit as free foods a minimum of 5 portions a day. I have sugar free jellies and sugar free chewing gum as free food.

    You will just have to be brutal with yourself and tell yourself this could be at least a year, you will get used to a way of eating but it will be hard. As long as you put the naughties in that red box you will lose weight slowly.

    We have a friend who had a gastric band, it worked for 3 years, then they started blending food so they could eat loads and eventually their stomach stretched. so forget that its not an option for obsessive eaters. I have used orlistat too, no good for me as i did not eat any fat lol You could give it go first, but really you have to make a diary, fill those boxes and be determined. Are you OK health wise because finding your cholesterol or blood glucose is heading up can make the boxes a good option.

    Above all, let yourself eat loads of veg, take the simple carbs out, you have done it before but this time put the stuff in the box. Physically clear the cupboards, have a locked box with naughty stuff in and other members of the family have the key, a real box.

    I have just gone extreme and lost a stone so far week 4. Never managed for than that over 6 months regardless of what I was on

    You can bloomin well do it, you have done it, you will do it and you will stop eating fat carb rich stuff that serves no health purpose.

    I bet if you started my diet, which has lots of pickled veg and veg and fruit and fish, meat, eggs, jellies, you would lose faster than me. We could have a race ;)

  • Oooh, tried orlistat, too. Did nothing for me, either :-D

    I have been so successful in the past. I think I'm just confused now, about how to go about it. It's not rocket science, though, is it. Eat less and move more! But then I start wondering about carb intake, sugar intake, fat intake, protein intake, good fats, bad fats, low GI, high GI, refined carbs, unrefined carbs, fibre... And then I just give up!

  • Take the weight of your brain, ban the naughty food and give the 12 week diet suggested here a go. Unless you want to race me ;)

  • I can't actually find a 'diet' on the 12 week plan. Do you just stick to the recommended foods and stay within 1400 cals?

  • No I don't do the 12 week plan far too many calories for me. I want this fat gone fast so i will get used to eating less permanently and not eating some things ever unless there is a good reason like my daughters wedding lol I am getting my sweet hit from sugar free jellies. I see no point in depriving myself of a bit of sweetness. Jelly also has collagen a protien so it has benefits too. I put bits of fruit in. This will make you curl up and scream, I am only doing 500-700 cal on average. I am never hungry and eat one third protein, no simple carbs, lots of complex carbs, fish, steak, pork loin, etc all fat removed and measured amount. I exchange an egg one morning with jelly (not together) with fruit the next day etc. Today I have had enough protein so i am cooking a baby sweet heart cabbage, halved with sliced onion on top in a small amount of water with black pepper and will be adding pickled red cabbage. Normally i would have less veg, not much, with fish or meat. Decided to do some pickled eggs and ate 2 for lunch with my fav pickled sliced beetroot. lol Because i stuff my face with veg about now, I really can't fit in anything else until bedtime, jelly and a square of dark chocolate. Not milk, far to tempting. I am in week four and just over a stone down. My rate has slowed from the initial lose but my exercise is up and things are improving health wise :)

  • I would guess you're verging on ketosis going as low as 500? When I did the Cambridge Diet, I did 400 cals for six months straight (didn't have my 'break' weeks where you have a meal every day). It did become a way of life and I pretty much breezed through it after the first couple of weeks.

    Our dietician at work tells me no more than 1200 to lose weight, the NHS 12 week plan says 1400 and I have a very good friend who is a qualified personal trainer and nutritionist (who also, unfortunately, lives 200 miles away), who says I should stick to my BMR of around 1700.

    I know I'm overthinking this, and leaping from one thing to another is stopping me even getting started on a diet.

    I'm not racing you! If I can't stick to 1700, I won't stick to 500! :-D

  • But you never know, if you can stay away from the blips you may beat me anyway, my BMR is nearer 500cal because I don't move enough lol

    I did the cambridge diet when I became very ill after my first baby at 24. My body was having its first big flare and the doc decided that maybe a 300 cal per day may shock it back into normal activity. It did get my blood under control to some extent, but I always have high inflammatory markers and had to accept that. I also did it for about 6 months, lost about 2 stone. It was the first of many Fad diets.

  • I know exactly why you mean!! My ESR was the lowest it'd ever been when I did CD! It went down to 6. Was 27 at the last test, which isn't that high, but still higher than when I gave up eating :-D

  • You sound really down and almost resigned to the fact that you will never change. Wanting to change has to come from within yourself and not just by signing up to this club or that club or going to hypnotherapy etc. As a nurse what would you tell a patient with the same issues? If you have not tried the 12 week nhs plan then please give it a go, sensible portions and a food diary, weigh and measure yourself and join the Monday weigh in, great support and advice from the forum members to keep you on track and nobody being judgemental. Put yourself first and start to shift that weight :-) John

  • I've always encouraged my patients to never feel that way; resigned to being overweight forever... yet I don't seem to be able to shift myself out of that frame of mind, at the moment. Part of my role is to see people for NHS Health Checks and I feel such a fraud giving them healthy eating advice!

    It does seem very supportive on here, and I'm really chuffed with the support I've received already, in such a short space of time :-)

  • if I saw u for a health check I would like that u know what u r taking about esp if u share ur own experience and acknowledge the difficulties

  • Well, I guess it's better than someone being patronising and condescending toward you. I just think they're looking at me and thinking that I either don't follow my own advice, or it doesn't work :-D

  • Hi Fatterthanever,

    Welcome to the forum, and it's great that you've had lots of supportive replies so far. I really hope you'll enjoy being part of our community - it is a friendly and supportive place. I know you've tried various plans in the past, and I know you're feeling some sense of desperation about your current situation, but the great thing is that you are venturing out to find some support, and I really hope that you might find it helpful being part of the community here.

    We have a Welcome Newbie post, so maybe have a look through it to see if there's anything you'd like to join in, or just read some of the inspiring posts from other people. I'm sure you'll see many things you've heard of before, but maybe there are things that will strike a chord, and that you'll want to add to your lifestyle.

    I notice that you already do quite a bit of pre-planning, and that you have a variety of different people in your home to cater for - i.e. the pescatarian, carnivore and vegetarian. We do have a recipe section that has a lovely range of recipes and snack ideas - it's been collated by Lucca10, and is within the Welcome Newbie pack, as well as in the Pinned posts (which are on the right-hand-side of the forum). Many of us batch cook and freeze foods, so maybe that might be the way to go to cater for the various preferences within your household?

    We also have a Monday group weigh-in session, and if you fancy the idea of that, then please do join us. You would be very welcome. The latest thread for that group is in the Events section (again the right-hand-side of the homepage).

    Here's the link to the Welcome Newbie post:

    A lovely member called Moreless put that together, and it is a really good read.

    Hope you'll enjoy our forum, and look forward to seeing you around and about.

    Have a great weekend and a good week ahead.

    Lowcal :-)

  • Try to be a little more accepting of yourself; being stressed will not help. Yo-yo dieting is more harmful to health than being overweight.

    Address the balance of your diet; be aware that typically our bodies use twice as much energy as fat compared to carbohydrate. That means that if you eat more carbohydrate than fat, as many people do, the excess will be turned to fat. It tends to be healthier therefore to eat natural fat that provides the vitamins and minerals our body needs, and reduce the excess of carbohydrates that can disrupt our metabolism and hormones.

    Good luck!

  • I've given up diet drinks with aspartame/phenylalanine in them, as I don't think they do me much good! I've also stopped sweeteners in my coffee, and I'm slowly weaning myself off my half teaspoon of sugar. I've started to eat things that I used to avoid, like avocado, small amounts of coconut oil (to replace any other emulsified spray oils), if I use any spread it's a very small amount of butter, rather than low-fat spread that's full of hydrogenated vegetable oil (although I rarely actually use spreads), I've stopped 'diet' yoghurts, as they're full of sugar, and I've cut down on the amount of fruit I'm eating and replacing it with cucumber, celery and carrots.

    BUT... in the evenings when I'm getting frustrated with my science degree, I eat and eat and eat. I think I need to stop studying! :-D

  • Just saw your reply above - evenings - arm yourself with a supply of herbal tea, low-calorie nibbles like rice-cake snacks and pre-prepared fruit or salad vegetables. Other temptations - lock them up or freeze them down and give someone else the key! Forward planning is the name of the game.

  • Good advice :-) I'm gonna try that tonight. I'll prepare some carrot, cucumber and celery and make a 0% fat Greek yoghurt dip. Watch this space!

  • The "how to do it" is not the issue here but "why". There is an underlying reason why you are seeking comfort in food - much as an alcoholic will drink despite knowing the damage it does. It is possible you have an addictive nature and you need to (a) recognize the reasons behind your comfort eating and (b) find support from fellow sufferers to enable you to find the middle road.

    Don't beat yourself up when you "fall off the wagon" - guilt and self hatred will just drive you further into self punishment. Work on positive feelings; write a list of what is good an enjoyable in your life i.e. you have a job, you are feeling well, you are not lonely, or (whatever is relevant to you). Then, plan a day's healthy food for tomorrow and enjoy it. Then the next day and the next. If you have a meal out or a social event - enjoy it within reason, and get back on track the next day. Once you feel that you are back in control, you will start to feel happier and more positive, which is the aim of the game!

  • DD is talking sense ๐Ÿ˜Š I think you need to address the underlying issues ๐Ÿ˜• You are obviously educated and intelligent so it's not nutritional advice that's lacking, ๐Ÿ˜• I hit a real low before the lightbulb moment when I realised I had two choices, stay as I was, Fat unhealthy and in constant pain, or make some changes.

    There are lots of different ways of eating to lose /maintain weight, and twice as many people offering different advice, do some research and find a plan that suits you as that really helps.

    But most important have some self belief that you CAN do this, you sound like a very capable person, you just need some confidence! ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Good luck!


  • I just need to get focused- my greatest success has always been achieved by calorie counting (because I can still eat on the odd occasion I go out for a coffee and a scone). If I have a small treat, once a week, something naughty, but stay within my calorie allowance, I don't beat myself up over it.

    This forum is really supportive. I already feel more positive! Porridge with banana and blueberries this morning. Beans on toast planned for lunch, then home made falafel burgers and 'air-fried' chips for dinner :-)

  • Yes, FTE, I think it's important to have some flexibility and factor in treats ๐Ÿ˜Š I got so low that something had to change, the alternatives didn't bear thinking about. I made permanent changes in lifestyle, but not asuch big changes that it feels like deprivation. I still eat all my favourite food but in smaller (weighed) quantities. and as the weight came off I felt fitter so exercise becomes easier.

    I started out aiming to lose 5% of my total weight and to have 3x10 minutes of walking, dancing, cycling five times a week.

    But this is just what works for me, slow and steady, about a lb a week, I eat carbs because bread is my absolutely favourite 'can't live without' food, but very little alcohol or sugar. I firmly believe finding the right eating plan that you can follow permanently is the key.

    Good luck! ๐Ÿ˜Š

  • Bread.... My biggest downfall (well, along with chocolate, biscuits, cake, cheese... ;-) ) I think I need to drop worrying about good fats, bad fats, carbs, protein etc and just concentrate on getting some weight off, first. Then I can address my eating style and make permanent changes. Fortunately, I don't drink at all (apart from way too much coffee!).

    I used to cycle everywhere. Now I feel stupid sat on my bike because the saddle disappears! :-D But I do need to move more. I never sit still unless I have a text book in front of me. I do tons of housework, walk everywhere that I can, and at work I'm either on my knees dressing leg ulcers or traipsing down the corridor every five minutes to get my next patient in. BUT I don't do any structured exercise. I need to work on that. It's as much time management as it is inclination!

  • You are obviously quite fit with all that running around! and don't mention cheese . . . I use low fat ready grated and only buy the nice stuff Christmas and birthdays ๐Ÿ˜Š Prefer cheese to chocolate any day! Eeeeek!

    Good luck, just small changes can make a big difference, ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

  • Fit? I need 100% O2 after climbing three stairs :-D

  • Oh, I hear ya! Been there, bought the T-shirt (XXXL, of course)!

    Somehow though, this diet seems different, so far I have lost four and a half stone since last September and feel so much better.

    Just follow the NHS 12-week plan and join in the community here and before you know it, you too will have lost the persistent weight!

  • That's amazing!!! What's an average daily menu for you?

  • Oh my diet is a vegan one, so may not interest many on here, I do the opposite of the low-carbers, I eat loadsa carbs!

    Breakfast is usually fridge porridge with dried fruit (sits in the fridge overnight getting tastier)

    Lunch is usually something like a hummus or peanut butter sandwich or soup, followed by an apple.

    Late afternoon I have some oat cakes or fruit to tide me over until dinner.

    Then for dinner I have a lentil curry or roast vegetables (including potatoes) or a stir fry, followed by a soya yogurt, fruit and maybe a Nakd Bar in the evening.

    I love this diet, it suits me very well and I feel so healthy on it and have lots of energy.

  • Hi LTL, I am interested to hear that you are on a vegan diet. I have been reading How not to die and this advocates a plant-based diet. I haven't gone totally over to the diet as my OH likes to cook and eat together at the weekend and he is a die-hard meat-eater. How much weight are you losing on this sort of plan and do you count calories?

    I had beans on low-gi bread for lunch - something I don't think I have had for years!

  • I am reading that book too! It is very interesting, maybe your hubby should read it too.

    I am losing on average 2 to 2.5lbs a week and I consume about 1600 calories a day.

    Maybe you could have a plant-based day or two a week for both of you.

  • I have overnight oats for breakfast sometimes, too :-) I put natural yoghurt in mine, though, as I'm not vegan. Your dinner sounds pretty much like what I would have (when I'm being good!). Tonight I had falafel burgers from a vegan recipe and roasted veg. Tomorrow I'm planning on making this but with Quorn meatballs (no good for you, I know). Nakd bars, I've found, are an acquired taste, but I'm getting used to them!

    So is 1600 your approximate BMR? Who here advocates eating to their BMR, rather than lower?

  • Overnight porridge is my favourite breakfast, I make it in batches of 3 or 4 and it is so handy to just grab it and go if I am in a rush.

    Your dinner for tomorrow looks lovely and is definitely very similar to what I have, but obviously without the animal products. Quorn are gradually introducing some products without egg, thank goodness, although I don't tend to use meat replacement products unless I am feeding meat-eaters.

    I find with a vegan diet, I need to eat in the middle range of the suggested BMR on the calculator, if I go too low, I feel hungry, although the calculator suggests that you need to stick to the lower end of the scale to lose 1 to 2lbs a week.

  • Hi fatterthanever, it sounds like a struggle.....I've got about 5 stone to lose too and tried weight watchers, slimming world, Atkins etc etc all with varying degrees of success or not....

    Maybe just try taking it one step at a time and focus on what you do well instead of the negatives.

    I find that if I restrict myself too much through the day I head for the biscuit barrel or crisp mountain in the evening๐Ÿ˜ I've just restarted trying to get lighter and healthier so we're in the same boat.

    Maybe you should change your user name to something that gives you a positive feeling too, every little helps.

    Good luck๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Another week of eating myself stupid.

    I wonder if I need some anti-depressants, or something. I've never taken them and never wanted to give in to taking them.

  • Hi not nice to feel as you do but this forum will help you beyond your wildest dreams. I did slimming world and am now calorie counting because you can have anything as long as you count it. Stick with it. SW does not help portion control which I need. Keep reading. Especially the daily diary. Take the scenic route and enjoy it. Good luck.

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