I am just so sick of starting again every week or two when my mood manages to crawl above depressed for a few days.
I just do not understand. Food really has become an addiction. I can literally feel the relaxation kick in as that first bite of chocolate hits my palate. I almost groan with satisfaction.
It wasn't like this before I gave up smoking and drinking and I assume I am not only channelling my addictive needs all into food but with enhanced taste buds everything tastes better anyway.
I am just so god damn FRUSTRATED!!!! with myself.
I know the antidepressants still have a few weeks before they could be considered to have settled in (I have been on them now for about 4 weeks) but these last couple of weeks look like they are going to be hellish from a mood perspective.
I can not seem to deal with any kind of stress and when it hits I go straight to the cupboard/supermarket/freezer and chow down all the while my brain is screaming no, no! NO!!!!
This is why I have been absent for a few days - sorry to those of you who go looking for me
OK - sorry bout that needed to vent and its very unlike me. Maybe thats a good sign!
See youse round.