Frustration Grrr!

Frustration Grrr!

I am just so sick of starting again every week or two when my mood manages to crawl above depressed for a few days.

I just do not understand. Food really has become an addiction. I can literally feel the relaxation kick in as that first bite of chocolate hits my palate. I almost groan with satisfaction.

It wasn't like this before I gave up smoking and drinking and I assume I am not only channelling my addictive needs all into food but with enhanced taste buds everything tastes better anyway.

I am just so god damn FRUSTRATED!!!! with myself.

I know the antidepressants still have a few weeks before they could be considered to have settled in (I have been on them now for about 4 weeks) but these last couple of weeks look like they are going to be hellish from a mood perspective.

I can not seem to deal with any kind of stress and when it hits I go straight to the cupboard/supermarket/freezer and chow down all the while my brain is screaming no, no! NO!!!!

This is why I have been absent for a few days - sorry to those of you who go looking for me :(

*siiiiighhhh*

OK - sorry bout that needed to vent and its very unlike me. Maybe thats a good sign! :)

See youse round.

15 Replies

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  • Oh Dave I feel your struggle. It is hard when you know that something so accessible will make you feel better (i.e.chocolate).

    Do you have any exercise you enjoy? Maybe that (or the buzz post-workout) could be a new "addiction"?

    Chin up! You're doing great so far... As the saying goes "every day you wake up to fight the demons that left you so exhausted the night before... well done!"

  • Thanks I really appreciate the reply :) I guess some of my frustration comes from feeling better recently on the pills and then falling back into anxiety and depression will probably mean starting from scratch on a new brand. I hate complaining and am usually glass half full - just hitting a rough patch is all.

  • Oh Dave I know exactly how you feel. I've lived most of my life like that - always starting a diet - losing a few pounds and putting it right back on the following week.

    I did manage to lose 8stone back in 2010 and thought I'd never regain it because I felt so good about myself. But gradually over the course of a couple of years I did gain back 30 of those kgs. I have spent about 2 years trying to get motiovated enough to lose more than 2 or 3 kgs. Each time I gained the few kgs back and gave up again for a few weeks,...then I'd try again..same thing lose a few - gain it back with a feeling of "It's all too hard".

    I joined this group 1st September last year and quickly lost 2 stone but since then I've been less than diligent and over the last couple of months I've only managed to lose another 4kgs. And while I'm not really trying, (the positive feelings have diminished again) I at least have not put weight on. So I am in a better place. Maybe if you can stay motivated for just a couple of weeks and see a loss of a few kilos, then maintain it for a week or so and start again knowing that you're in a better starting place than before.

    This is not a race and if it takes a month to lose 2 kilos that's okay. The trick is not giving up and I know it's so easy to give up and just eat. I love food, I'm addicted to food. This time I'm trying the lchf way of eating and while I'm not losing at the moment - I'm not gaining either. I intend to get myself into gear again in the coming weeks and I'm hoping that the weight will start to moving again.

    I hope you can get it together and be strong for a couple of weeks and then you'll have a good loss and a foundation you'll want to build on . Sending hugs your way.

  • I have also started lchf eating. I am finding it much more satisfying, and I feel happier and healthier. I have lost a little weight and have reached the tightest hole on my belt.

  • So wise your words. I know its not a race and I really have finally understood that this has to be about a slow life change not a quick fix....I just need my mood to stabilise and I'll be fine :)

  • Can I say "Grrr!" too - in solidarity. Hope venting is a sign things are indeed on the turn. I feel like what you're describing is very much behavioural rather than addictive - unless you think it's chemical rather than psychological? Basically - look at it in both those ways. Is it chemical - if so, identify the chemical triggers and remove them. Whatever it takes - you're 'allergic' - they make you ill - remove those chemicals from your life. Is it behavioural - if so - again identify them. Look at cognitive behavioural techniques - identify what behavioural trait(s) you're following - keep a behaviour diary - identify what the triggers are and what responses occur following those triggers. How do behaviours lead to your bad actions blah blah. Basically keep trying to find the answer, keep reading, keep trying to understand it all. The answer's out there! Have faith and good luck :)

  • Thx Ruth you're so right. And some of my frustration comes from knowing that I was feeling better on the pills and have now slipped again after 4 weeks so I may have to look at swapping to a different kind and start the merry go round again :) Anyway I'll get ther eventually.

  • Hi Dave, really sorry you're feeling so low. Can't really add anything.. The problem with food is that we need it and when we get to the shop/cupboard/fridge there is often a wealth of it! It is bizarre that (for me anyway) the misery of looking in the mirror (not all the time, but when I'm feeling low) sends me to fill my face with the crap that got me in the shape that makes me miserable in the first place!!

    Starting meds is HARD! Be as kind to yourself as you are to everyone else.

    Kate x

  • So true isn't it - we really are our own worst enemies.

  • How you feeling today, Dave?

    Hang on in there. Don't know if this means anything to you but I prayed for you today. Anyhow, just know we are all here for you and let that be some comfort in those dark times when nothing seems to work.

  • Carol Lee thats awfully sweet of you - makes me feel quite humble to know how much people care. Not feeling great but something will shift soon.

    thx again :)

  • Dear Dave , I fully understand what you saying here as I am in the same situation....I am sending lot's of supportive thought's to you x

  • Thinking of you and hoping we can fight our way through this

  • Hang on in there Dave{hug},

    Yes the meds will kick in but it is so easy to soothe ourself with choccie etc. It's like a drug one taste and it's gung ho !!!

    It does take time to make any change and you've done really well to kick the ciggies/alcohol. Sometimes it's about a balance, some days I get there other days I don't !

    Take it one meal at a time 😃, you will get there

    Take care

    😇

  • Thanks Flossie as usual you are so sweet to me - it really does help :)

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