Fed Up and Miserable.: Well something... - Weight Loss Support

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Fed Up and Miserable.

Jenever profile image
19 Replies

Well something has happened to my psyche!!! I don't seem to have the same enthusiasm or determination as I did a month or so ago. I've managed to stay at target weight (9st.9lbs) but I wanted to lose a few extra pounds to prepare for the Christmas festivities but it just ain't happening, I lose a pound or two then gain 1/2lb, I know that is still an overall loss but I just can't muster the enthusiasm.

Last week I met up with a group of people I used to work with before I retired, they were all so surprised at how slim I looked and were full of praise for what I've achieved, we had a really lovely lunch, lots of laughter and memories and when I got home I was still buzzing with all the excitement of the day, but since then I've become more and more fed up and have struggled to remain in control of what I'm eating. I've been retired for just over 2 years and have been enjoying retirement but I think it dawned on me last week just how much I miss the banter, comradery even the office politics.

I want to get back in the zone but finding it difficult, I'm maintaining well enough but with just 2 weeks to go I would like to take it up a few notches and really go for it.

Enjoy your weekend everyone.

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Jenever profile image
Jenever
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19 Replies

Aww Jenever - sounds like you've got in a bit of a rut ? :-( Do you think it is the weight loss difficulties that are making you feel down, or the 'down' feelings making the weight loss enthusiasm difficult ?

I think this time of year is just so problematic. There is so much going on, so much lovely food being advertised, so many social events to navigate - and all with additional pressure of trying to get to a certain target by Christmas.

Could you try to forget about any thoughts of weight loss for the next couple of weeks. Aim to maintain or just take whatever loss happens naturally, and just say that you will start again after Xmas or in the New Year. Plan to revitalise yourself, address any non-weight related issues (do you need a new activity/hobby to get that social spark back again ?) and then get back to tackling the weight loss targets ?

Hope you work something out and make sure you don't forget how much you've achieved already :-)

Jenever profile image
Jenever in reply to

Thank you Lucca, I read your reply last night and I've been pondering on whether it's non weight loss making me fed up or being fed up preventing me losing weight (egg or chicken scenario!) I think it's the latter, I'm spending too much time reminiscing and have become melancholy. Time to pull myself together and live the moment not the past. Thank you for giving me food for thought...the one type of food where I don't check the calories!!

in reply to Jenever

Well - sounds like it's time to have a good Christmas and do some planning to start something new and exciting in the new year :-) Join an abseiling club, take up stargazing, write a novel, start a degree course - the world is your oyster :-D

moreless profile image
morelessAdministrator7 stone

Hi Jenever,

Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit down in the dumps. I agree with everything Lucca's said and would suggest that maybe, in your head you've reached your goal and don't really want to be as strict with yourself, especially at this time of the year.

Of course you were feeling so high after meeting up with the girls, it would have been something similar to our memories, ie all the good and none of the bad. How about doing some volunteer work, which will get you out and about, meeting new people and give new, important purpose to your life.

Instead of worrying about the eating, why not take up a crazy new exercise class, to add a bit of zing to your day :)

I lost my mojo last week, but am back on form this week, I think our miserable winter weather doesn't help. I'm sure you'll be feeling much better next week, so just give yourself a break for now.

Chin up :)

Jenever profile image
Jenever in reply to moreless

Thank you Moreless,

Yes Lucca really did give me something to think about, I pondered her words for quite a while. Time to pick myself up, brush myself down and start all over again...well something like that anyway! Have a good weekend.

8811 profile image
8811

Hi jenever, thanks for this post..... I am feeling just the same. I am in a low mood, low motivation, pre period state and all I want to do is eat. I am not losing anything and am slacking on the exercise front. Doesn't help that work is bonkers and some family illness.... Like you I need to find some enthusiasm, sorry for moan but feel better from sharing. Good luck and let's keep going, having lost we are going in right direction x

Jenever profile image
Jenever in reply to 8811

Thanks 8811, it always helps to share I think. Have a good weekend.

Jenever, firstly I'd like to say that 9st 9lb is an incredible achievement, but I suppose as we get used to being a healthy weight, it becomes the norm and we appreciate what we have done a little less. You have done very well and many like me will be slightly envious :)

I retired when I was 55 and it took two or three years to really get used to a new life. I was head of a team of over 600 people at one time, but in the latter years I worked in smaller teams of less than 12. My work was very, very interesting as were the people I worked with. I also missed the buzz when I first retired.

Fortunately I had a plan. My youngest daughter had married and become pregnant. I knew they were going to struggle financially and I had a choice of carrying on working and helping out financially or retiring and helping out practically. I'm pleased I chose the latter, because my other daughter was also expecting twins. As time has gone on, I've been increasingly involved in the childcare. My youngest has since had another, so my workload is now quite heavy and due to increase as I take on more of the care next year.

The problem I face, is that if I don't really look after myself, then I won't be capable of doing what I presently do.

We each have reasons for wanting to lose weight. For me, it's about being able to live a full and useful life. When I look back on my working life now, despite how many interesting tales I could tell and the interesting people I met and knew, that period pales into insignificance compared to the joy I get out of life now.

Weigh loss in itself is only a means of helping me achieve my ultimate goals of being able to care for the grandchildren well into my 70's. After that? Yes, after that, I plan to be able to care for my wife who increasingly suffers from arthritis.

So my plan is to get as healthy as possible, reducing my weight, giving up smoking in February and then onto increasing exercise.

I apologise for the long reply, but do feel that having weight loss as a goal in itself, is less motivating than having weight loss as an essential enabler, to achieving a far more magnificent goal.

Adjusting to retirement and finding fulfillment can be difficult, but I'm sure that in time, the comradery and buzz that you used to get from work will be replaced by something more stimulating and rewarding. You sound very much like a go getter and the healthier you are the more chance of achieving in the future.

You may feel a lot better when you can complete the following sentence. I want to lose weight because ....................

Those of us still on the weight loss journey, know just how much you've accomplished.

So again, well done, you have my respect :)

Jenever profile image
Jenever in reply to

Thank you for you kind words Tewson,

I can complete that sentence a number of different ways, health and mobility were the reasons I first decided on a healthy lifestyle and I've achieved that even to the point where I've been able to stop some of the medication I was taking. More recently it's been more about wanting to look good (very shallow) but important to me.

Like you I am very much involved with grandchildren we have 12 aged between 1 & 18, 4 of them are staying with us this weekend, and also like you I love every moment, but I really miss the world of work. When I went to London to meet up with friends a colleagues I realised just what a buzz I got from running for the train, pushing my way onto the tube and the general wit and banter from mixing with people who are so like minded. I worked in the same profession for almost 30 years and loved every moment, my whole life revolved around my chosen profession, my friends are all in the same job and for a while I even lived in a home belonging to the job! I tried a part-time job post retirement but just couldn't get on with it, it was so very different from what I had done previously. No, I think I just have to realise I've turned a page and get on with the next chapter of my life, I just got a little melancholy for the old days but they've gone, even for the people still working there!!

Thank you for responding to my post and for giving me something to think about. Have a great weekend.

It happens! Try to remember the last time you felt this and how it felt afterwards when you got your mojo back again. These down periods can feel like they'll go on forever but eventually everything slips back into place again. Just be easy on yourself during the difficult times and save the hard push for when you're at your strongest. Two points that stand out from your post for me:

1. That you want to lose a few lbs in preparation for lbs you will put on over xmas - can you conceive of instead not putting those lbs on? It could be possible with careful planning, and portion control on the big day...

2. You seem to feel guilty that you feel like your weight loss isn't enough yet when at the same time friends are commenting on how much of a difference you've made. Try and feel as if maybe this is your natural final goal weight - you've put in so much work, 9st9 is a very respectable weight (although I don't know your height, it is a slim weight for most average height women), and you are receiving compliments left, right and centre. Try and feel that this is the finish point, and focus on maintaining rather than losing more, especially if your mood isn't conducive to further weight loss at this point. You can always re-assess this at a later point in time. For now you are a healthy slim weight which is surely the whole point of losing weight - rather than aiming for an arbitrary number??

Sending good vibes and hope things pick up soon :)

Jenever profile image
Jenever in reply to

Thanks Ruth,

You're right when you say I don't feel that I've lost enough weight, I would quite like to hit that 9st mark, I'm only 5'2" so that would be quite a nice weight for me.

I got a bit melancholy thinking about the good old days but what a difference 24 hours makes, and I'm ready to hit the ground running, well speed walking anyway!

Thanks again Ruth, have a nice weekend.

in reply to Jenever

Glad you're feeling better Jenever. If you really want to get to that 9st mark then that sounds reasonable to me. 9st9 is a healthy weight for your height but only you know what will feel like the right weight for you. Hope you can manage to be kind to yourself for the last few pounds that need to be lost to get there - Christmas will feature during the early part of the journey, but it's surely going to be a couple of months work to shift 9lbs so take the ups with the downs and keep focusing on the final goal - in a determined/positive rather than melancholy way of course :)

buffa37 profile image
buffa37

Is it worth reshuffling your meals?? New ideas to be less "bored"? Also I love the idea of doing a new exercise. I am on maternity leave and so feel for you when you talk about meeting up with old work friends. Your current weight is fantastic so dont become too obsessed with the numbers .....keep on swimming keep on swimming as Nemo would say xxxx

Jenever profile image
Jenever in reply to buffa37

Thanks Buffa,

Surprising just how much we miss the friendship of work isn't it. You've got a really wonderful event on the horizon so enjoy your time off and good luck to you for the future.

Zest profile image
ZestHealthy BMI

Hi Jenever,

I noticed that you mentioned that you're feeling a bit better now, and that you're enjoying your speed walking. Glad you're feeling better, and hope you are enjoying the weekend.

I think it's understandable that you had some nostalgic feelings about missing your work colleagues, as the process of retirement is quite a big thing, and you are bound to miss some things.

This time of year can cause us to reminisce as well, so all in all it can be quite a cocktail of emotions. Glad we can't put on weight as a result of that particular cocktail. But it shouldn't be underestimated either, as it does impact on how we're feeling.

Hope you have a great week ahead. You have made such great progress with your weight-loss. Maintaining your target weight at this challenging time of year is such an achievement. Really great!

Lowcal :-)

Jenever profile image
Jenever in reply to Zest

Thanks for the encouragement Lowcal, and welcome back!

Zest profile image
ZestHealthy BMI in reply to Jenever

Thank you, it's good to be back! :-)

Hi Jenever,

Your post has really stuck a chord with me, I too am recently retired although have been off work for 2 yrs due to medical issues. I met up with old colleagues yesterday and while had a lovely time I do feel a pang of missing work and do understand how you are feeling💐

I think you are doing really well to maintain, I've had a disaster of a week , putting on 2Ib after a really focused eating plan and upped the exercise so good on you 😃

I do think this time of year is difficult and for me even if maintain on Friday I look back over the year and overall feel really pleased with what I have achieved and maybe you need to look back and feel the same.😃

We have a new and exciting year ahead of us let's think of a new challange we can set ourselves ???

Have a lovely week

😇

Jenever profile image
Jenever in reply to

Thank you Flossie,

You're so right we really need to step back and see the bigger picture and that is a success story. Enjoy your weekend.

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