I'm morbidly obese (though I despise that phrase) and need to lose over ten stone. Really not sure which way to turn or how to do this the best way. So, I'm here and hoping it is a kick start to what needs to be done.
Best positive = I really want to do this before I turn 50 (in 16mths).
Biggest negative = I'm so impatient & want it done now.
Hoping I can find some friends, support and advice here and help along the way.
Thanks for reading 
Hello & welcome to this group!!
Not wanting to put you off, but your target seems rather harsh, it might help to break down the task with a smaller objective over a shorter term, e.g. loose your first stone in 8 weeks!! I know it is possible to loose 2 pounds a week while remaining on your healthy range, however there will be ups and downs naturally, even with the best effort, so in my opinion it's best to account for them in your plans, otherwise you will feel that you failed badly later. Also, we are all here to learn to enjoy our lives with a new, healthier lifestyle, with no plans to endure some strict and miserable diet that will get us nowhere in the long-term. My top tips are:
1. work out your calorie allowancewith NHS BMI calculator, and try to stick to the lower number of your range.
2. Track your calorie intake everyday if you can. Most of us use Fitnesspal, which is free and has a huge range of foods, packed and unpacked (so you don't feel that you have to eat from a pack with a barcode to know your calories);
3. Don't increase your calorie allowance just because you have done some exercise, if you do that you may not see results on the scale. The exercise is a bonus (and necessary to build up your muscles, improve metabolism, to regulate your appetite, to get in a new mindset for good and to make you happy), however 70% of your weight loss will be driven by the diet. It's a know fact.
4. Worth reading up on healthy eating, and based on my newly acquired education on food, the top tips are: keep your choices around basic food, in their most natural form (non processed), so wholemeal grains (pasta, rice, cous cous, breakfast cereals), seeds, unprocessed nuts (with the skin on, and no sugar coating, no salt), organic food where possible (especially for milk, eggs, meat, yogurt), that' s to keep the nasties out of our system. All that fibre will feel you up and there will less chance of overeating. Also little meat/fish, alcohol (sorry) , sugar, according to this book I read ( food for thought, by Saul Miller) they sit on the extremes of the food range and attracts each other in an attempt to balance out, so a nice stake will attracts wine and a sweet desert, whereas a plate of wholemeal pasta won't, interesting reading, try for yourself;
5. Last but not least..have fun!!! Enjoy the experience of finding a new you, that tries new foods or new ways to cook, that likes challenging herself with new physical activity, whether long walks or crazy aerobics classes....try new stuff you never did before, all right it will a killing effort the first few times, but eventually the penny will drop and you will master it ( I can proudly say that I laught at burpees nowadays, but not a year ago!!!).
So good luck with everything and sorry for the long note, just my way to give you the best welcome here!!!
I sound a bit like a parrot lol, I was writing and clicked post, then your post appeared, so you must have been writing and posting it just before I did mine - sorry if it looks like I'm copying you in some of what I say - lol!
Hi, you have come to the right place. If you have a look around the forum you will see there are people at various stages of weight loss, and some are maintaining. I'm in week 13 of my change in eating, and I have lost just over a stone and a half...I still have about 7 stone to go before I hit the very top end of my healthy weight range, so trust me, I feel your pain!
I wish I could say there is a quick fix, but the only way to do it is going to be slow and steady. There are a few of us here who are likely to be around for a good while yet as we have stones rather than pounds to lose, so you shouldn't be short of support. Also there is a weekly weigh in every Monday, you don't have to post your weight, you can just post whether you gained or lost x number of lbs that week, and we cheer each other on through the good and the bad. For me that's invaluable because it keeps you on track knowing you weigh in together every Monday. There's no judgement if you gain tho, just encouragement to carry on.
I started with the NHS BMI calculator, because it tells you how many calories you should be eating after you type in height, weight, age etc. It seems the heavier you are, the more calories you can eat, which has been invaluable to me to start me off on the right road. Before I started, I had visions of being constantly hungry and failing as a result. The NHS BMI calc combined with their calorie counter has been brilliant. I keep a food diary in document form on my computer and I plan my meals so that I know what I am eating (and drinking too - things like cappuccinos or full sugar soft drinks, even fruit juice, are basically empty calories which could have been used to fill you up). Evenings are my worst time, so I factor in a 100 calorie snack every day in addition to my meals, and it really helps, as I have something to look forward to and don't feel left out when the rest of the family are having crisps etc during a film, for example.
Exercise is tricky for me atm, so I've lost weight purely through altering what I eat. I say this because if you find it hard to exercise, take heart, you can still lose weight without exercise if you can't manage much physically.
I have a tendency to waffle on and on so I'll close this for now, but will leave you with the two NHS links I found useful, the BMI calculator (yes, I'm obese too, don't worry about it, we won't be like it forever eh?!), and also the calorie counter, here they are:
nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/Healthyw...
nhs.uk/Livewell/weight-loss...
Good luck, you can do this!
Thank you for such a positive reply. I did use the BMI and was totally 'gobsmacked' by how many calories I am allowed. I guess there needs to be scope to lessen them as you go along.
Welcome. You are in the right place. Lots of support here. I am impatient too, but fast is not good in weight loss. Good luck
Hi. My sensible head tells me a steady loss is a good thing but I think fear of failure makes me want to be successful immediately. I'll get there
Hello there!
You've made the first step. Welcome to the friendly and supportive group. I think Stefaniiax has some good ideas for you so the best of luckprimrose 😊
I echo all that has been said already. With 10 stone to lose exercise may seem impossible but just start by moving more. Even small changes make a difference. Start by parking a lamp post or two further from your destination. Then increase it as things get easier. Get off the bus one stop early. Build it in to your day and build it up. Google armchair exercises. Walk from room to room often. St yourself little challenges and give yourself non food rewards as you achieve.
Come here often you will receive encouragement,inspiration and support.
Don't worry about timescales just start your journey to a healthier you x
I was given an exercise referral by the DR and love the little gym I go to. It's like a club and for the first time I walk through the doors knowing there will be no judgement. Some days I can only do a few mins before the joints let me know it is enough but I am going and Im proud of that. Hoping as weightloss comes then my joints will forgive me a little more!!!
The best way is to learn portion control. I actually had a gastric band fitted, but bought the bariatric portion control plate, bowl and recipe book from a company called Portion Perfection. Here is the link to their Facebook page facebook.com/portionperfect...
Unfortunately I had an erosion of my stomach between the inside and the band, and had to have the band removed after 12 months and over 50 kg lost. I still have a very small appetite, but struggle to lose weight. I also developed severe endocrine pancreatic insufficiency, and have to take gastric enzymes with everything I eat. I wonder whether the problem was caused by 18 months on a VLCD, using optifast.
Welcome Alikou, well congratulations on taking this first step, and just a month before Xmas
I do t know what you know about dieting, or as I prefer to call it Healthy Eating.
Have you looked at the 12 week plan on this site? This is a good starting poont. I do my dieting with Slimming World and find their plan and the group support is what works for me. I also head up an independent Healthy Living Self support group.
Please feel free to post any questions and you will find plenty of advice and guidance on here, though I have found you need to be selective, there have bee some 'quick fix' postings in the past.
However you choose to tackle it patience will be neede. You didn't gain that weight overnight and you must not expect to
Lose it over night. Good luck and keep in touch x
Hi and thanks. I think the Xmas thing was a real part of my doing this. I don't want to deny myself anything but at the same time I am determined not to let the holiday be my excuse for going mad in the belief that Jan 1st will bring about a miraculous change. If you can do it now, you can do it anytime....right! 
I have thought about Slimming World but I will leave that one tip after Christmas and see how Im doing here.
Plenty of good advice already given. All I will say is that you can do it with the right mindset. That is the hardest part. Going into shops, seeing crisps, chocolate, sweets etc and saying no. Walking past the chip shop when you could just murder fish and chips. Self control, discipline and determination are the most important part of any weight loss. I did it after being overweight all my adult life. Lost over 8 stones and am now in healthy BMI so I know anyone can succeed if they get their head right.
Hi and thank you.
It is daunting. Im an all or nothing girl so changing my mindset won't be easy. I can go without chocolate etc but I can't do moderation. Either don't bring it near me or give me the lot. A psychology from childhood and not sure how to change it, or if I really need to.
great advice from everyone! my advice is make sure you record everything you eat - the good and the bad even if it goes over the daily cal amount as it will help you understand where you go wrong, what foods are high and what foods are just not worth it!
I now don't like going to the chippy (the oil and grease makes me ill and its not worth the cals) instead I love the Tesco lightly dusted haddock fillets and I make all my veg (including low cal chips in my health fryer with potatoes and parsnips, sweet potato etc) at home to go with it, the meal ends up at around 500-600 calories and is very tasty compared to 1100cals for a fish supper at the chippy. - recording stuff and experimenting with what foods suit your lifestyle and taste nice is key and obviously portion control - tho why have a little of something high cal that wont fill u when u can have lots of something low cal that ill fill you?!
good luck!
Good luck and welcome lots of good advice here, hope its not too overwhelming. A good place to start might be to set intermediate dates during the 16 months with intermediate goals. E.g. Aim to lose 2 stone every 3-4 months. Also, regarding your impatience, totally understand that. Try applying it to smaller details not the whole picture. Incorporate a small change each week, e.g. focus on having more foods rich with fibre in week 1, aim to have 3 pieces of fruit every day in week 2, try a new type of herbal tea in week 3. Also find a way to record exercise, so you can gradually increase your weekly goal each week, start small and slowly add 5 mins, 200 steps each week, etc. Also take measurements of everything, waist, hips, legs, arms, chest, wrist, ankles, etc. Changes in your measurements can be more motivating than changes on the scales sometimes. Celebrate all your achievements along the way. Good luck
Hi, Great advice! I am trying to break this down into smaller steps and to also not be so hard on myself for little set backs. Getting through week one and feeling happy with myself at the end of it is my 1st goal.
Each week is so important. Just keep focusing on what's managable and close to hand. Small goals all the way! Good luck
Hi don't worry we all in same boat. Nhs has to set that graph as realistic . It's too harsh and the description terms are harsh too. Break it down I to say three stones at a time will be easier . I have four to loose and am
Morbidly obese according to nhs due to my short height .... Am dealing with a stone at a time ... Chin up we all in this together x
I have just read all the posts and would like to add that their is nothing as rewarding as stepping on the scales and seeing them go down. I have been here 2 weeks now and have done it because of this site encouraging me. I have been to Rosemary Conley classes 3 times before and lost weight but it is too easy to not go one week for whatever reason and then stop.
So be encouraged, my friend of 12 years who is young, has been struggling with her weight for many years and she has lost over 2 stone in 8 weeks and is so much happier and getting healthier and she has a lot to lose. My 3 stone seems a lot to me, but to any of us its getting on that road in the first place and not stopping even if you slow down.
I have decided to carry my weight chart in my handbag as it plots my ups and downs for the last 9 years to help remind me what happens when we go on holiday or out for a meal.
In 2 weeks my legs have stopped swelling and I can get up the stairs without my stick, I would love to lose a stone by Xmas 4 weeks It is probably too optimistic so reality is hopefully half a stone. Just have to get through another holiday fullboard but it is dancing holiday with a swimming pool.
Keep reading and planning, herbal tea is good just before bed .
Hi and thank you for the support. I have a love hate relationship with the scale. I think when I know I am doing OK in myself I will use it more but for now I am thinking of twice monthly weigh ins and see how I go.
I'm not sure if this will help, you've been given some excellent advice already. I took a very methodical approach which may not suit some.
1 Note your calorie allowance for your BMI as Stefaniax has already said, use an allowance towards the lower end of your calorie allowance.
2 Sit down with a diary (paper or computer) and using the calorie calculator, plan your meals for the following day/s.
3 Be realistic when planning your meals. This will become your menu and your shopping list.
4 Go shopping, remembering that if it's not on the list, don't buy it. (You will save money if you don't make impulse buys )
5 Look up recipes for healthy food items, such as chickpeas or lentils allrecipes.co.uk/recipes/ta...
6 If possible, cook things in advance, such as spag bol, soups and stews, divide into calorie counted portions and freeze. Bulk cooking is good.
7 Try not to eat things that are not on your pre planned menu.
8 Try to plan in a few snacks into the menu, which will become optional on a daily basis but will be within your calorie allowance. It could be anything from a boiled egg to a banana to stave off any hunger pangs.
9 Try to eliminate sugar from your diet as this will be loaded with calories but will not sate your hunger.
I hope some of the above may help.
Good luck. I know you can do it
Hi,
Your advice I know I can take. I already work in this kind of way so just need to adapt the menus a little and of course watch the portion sizes. I tend to order online so I know I won't be tempted in the supermarket. I am a terrible impulse buyer.
I also do my order when Ive just eaten. If I do it when I am hungry it is amazing what sneaks in there.
Hello l have joined today and l'm also hoping to find some support here from like minded people.l also have a lot of weight to loose and l am feeling very overwhelmed by the thought which is actually stopping me from starting!!! l am hoping to give and receive advice from others whom are in the same boat as me and really understand what it is like to have a lot of weight to loose xx
Hi,
Your comments hit me hard because you are thinking like me. I loved the being so overwhelmed that it stops you from starting.... so know this feeling. I think as lots of others have said, we have to stop looking at the whole and just try and do well today. Tomorrow will be what it will be but it hasn't got here yet!
Good luck xoxo
Hi and welcome to the group!! we are a fantastic group and are all here for the same reason, we can pick each other up when we are feeling down and motivate each other to lose the weight.
I suggest to download the app my fitness pal on your smart phone as it helps to log the calories and shows where you can make tweaks on your eating habits. i'm only onto week two but have lost 5lbs so far and found this helps a lot.
Good luck and if you need anything please just drop me a message.
Dani xx
There is so much good advice to answer your post that it does not leave much to be said. There are two things that may help. Forgive me if they have already been said. I have found that eating the correct foods and cutting down on fat, sugar etc is very good advice but in addition portion size is really important. Serve food on a smaller plate or in a smaller bowl to make the portion seem larger, chew the food as long as possible (this made me get fed up with it and I served up smaller and smaller portions). Another thing which may help, drink a full glass of water before eating to help take away any hunger pains. Diets have never helped me for long but changing my eating habits permanently has, eat to live not live to eat. Good luck, I hope you succeed.
Hi,
Loved the chewing so much you get bored with eating! I will definitely be giving this a go. I don't rush food but don't take my time either and so this is on my start now list.
I am not going to repeat the wonderful advice above, but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone and losing the weight is doable and despite probably thinking it is going to be a hard slog, you will be surprised at how fun it is! Every new target reached is a reason to celebrate, every new activity you can do is a wonder and this is all within your grasp.
My advice is: give it 6 weeks, don't give up before then - you can do it!
(LotToLose is my name and my situation - already lost 2st and I eat as many calories a day that I can get away with and still lose weight, lol)
Hi,
I am one of those who started out needing to lose over 10 stone - 13.5 stone to be precise. It does seem impossible but it isn't.
You've had loads of great advice here. I would just quickly say - walk as much as you can and focus on reducing portion size.
How I sold this whole weight loss thing to myself was by looking ahead - I originally planned to lose 3 stone before the end of the year. Losing only 3 stone in a year when you are over 20 stone is not so hard, you don't have to live on only 1000 calories every day. You can live quite well and have a few treats. This way the whole weight loss thing seems less difficult. And when the weight does start coming off you'll want to work harder. I thought if I can just go into next year 3 stone lighter I will be happy and if I can do that each year for a few years I can reach a normal weight. Even though it seems like a long time it isn't in the whole scheme of things. So here I am just over 9 months later and I am nearly 4.5 stone lighter.
It can be done so good luck
Hi,
Well done! It is hard not to see the whole thing but your outlook is great. Aiming for less but on a regular basis is a good way to go. I will certainly work on getting my heads into this mindset. Thank you.
Good luck!
Another thing to think about is your average gains over the years. I worked out I gain about 8lb a year - it's not much but it is when it goes un-tackled for 10+ years.
So whatever I lose this year I'm gonna count the 8lbs I would probably have put on too! So if I manage the 5 stone that will be 5 stone lost and 8lb not gained
You can do it and as soon as the first few lb come off you'll know it!
Hi A1
I'm not going to bamboozle you with any more info, I just wanted to welcome you into the fold and assure you that you're not alone.
All the very best to you
Hi there, started a week ago and lost 9lb.
Ive found that having porridge (quaker oats individual sachets) with skimmed milk only 130cals fills me up.
You could have a slice of toast with low fat spread and a piece of fruit.
for lunch ive had
1/2 a tin of soup
sandwich made of 2 wholemeal bread spread with mayo
1/2 tin tuna with salad
and a mousse or ice cream
for dinner
jacket potato med (no butter, I have Philadelphia cheese spread low fat)
beans
1tbsp branston pickle
for snacks you could have fruit or sticks of veg dipped in cheese spread
Hope this helps. Doing it for me
Hi everyone newbie here and any advice greatly appreciated. 
hi
