depressed

Hi all, new to this site. I have tried numerous times to lose weight....it is really getting to me now, swollen feet, huge stomach and a wardrobe full of clothes that do not fit anymore. I have decided i need to keep trying, i really really want this. Going to my docs on Monday to get help as well. Anyway i am 5.6 and hitting the scales at 18 stone...ok ok maybe 19 stone. I want to scream and cry, i just feel so down about myself at the moment.

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  • Try to approach your weight loss in small steps. You can do it

  • God, that's so weird reading that you would think I wrote it, same height same weight and tried to loose weight wasn't really working, I was paranoid about joining a gym but I had to do something, so instead of giving myself an unreachable target of about 13st, I decided to make small Stepps, so my first was 18st and when I got to that I made a target of 17st, at the moment I'm 17.3 but due to weigh myself on Saturday.. small steps and just keep active it will take longer to loose it but it will be worth it, just be patient you can do it.. good luck.

  • Lots of people give themselves smaller targets to hit on their weightloss journeys, it seems to work quite well for them.

    I approach it a little different and although probably sounds crazy I don't bother with short term goals or deadlines to be at a weight, I started 2weeks ago at 123.2kg and my target is 100kg. Every day I try stick to not overbearing but I still try and eat what I fancy and not live off crackers, salad, rice and beans! I still eat out I still have chips and I've even pushed the boundaries and had cake and ice cream,

    After 2 weeks I now weigh 116kg.

    What I'm trying to say is, try to always staying under your maximum daily calorie allowance and the weight will fall off you, if you have a bad day then start again tomorrow, have another then start again - it's not a race.

    If I give you a couple of tips id say - try not waste calories on fizzy juice or alcohol and always aim to leave a little bit on your plate at end on meals

    Hope there's something in there to encourage you

    If u want support then just shout

    NB

  • That is such helpful advice for all of us trying to lose weight. Has inspired me, thank you

  • Hi, I felt just like you last year. I hope the doctor is helpful.

    Getting healthy is doable and once you make a plan that works for you, you will start to feel better almost straight away.

    You have some great replies and advice already.

    Like the others say try small steps, this will take you a very long way. What finally turned things around for me last September was tiny amounts of exercise, weighing myself frequently (so this stopped being something I dread), switching gradually to healthy food choices and eating regular meals. I saw a counsellor for ten sessions and did some reading. I didn't start counting calories until May by which time the depression had lifted, I was exercising regularly and I had stopped gaining weight. The NHS live well site is fantastic.

    I have four stone remaining to lose but I feel so much better facing up to it. I hope you feel better soon.

  • You can do this so don't be depressed. Little steps and lifestyle changes not diets. So look at your worst habits and make changes. I know my portion sizes are too big and I can't leave anything on my plate even when full. I don't drink enough water. I eat too much carby food. These were what I made changes too. You will know yours.

    So stick to your calorie allowance and start to change bad habits. It will work don't give up!!!!

  • Suppressing feelings is unhealthy. We need to acknowledge our emotions, and then move forward.

  • A large amount to lose seems very daunting and I agree with the comments that say break it down into mini goals. Every half a stone is a triumph and should be celebrated (only not with cake)!

    The time-scale of the whole thing seemed to me to be massive - it will take me over a year to lose my weight and that sounded awful to me at the beginning, but already I am three months in and I don't know where the time went! That is a quarter of the way through. I can do this and so can you.

    Make sure you have enough to eat, at nearly 19 stone, your BMR (basal metabolic rate) will be higher than if you were 13 stone and you can consume many more calories than 1400 and continue to lose weight. I have 1600 and still lose on average 2lbs a week.

    Enjoy your food, enjoy your exercise and keep us posted on how you are doing!

  • I suffer with depression. Some days I have to write off altogether. I was in denial about what tat was doing to my weight.

    I have been doing ths for over two months. I have lost a fair amount of weight but it is going to take a year / eighteen months to get close to my target. There are not short cuts. I refer to my new regieme as tate rules and I stick to them.

  • Shazzaboo1523 you are not alone. If I could I would give you a hug - a virtual one will have to do.

    This horrible feeling you have about yourself I can honestly identify with.

    But it gets us nowhere but lower and more miserable which is no place to start a mindset and lifestyle change.

    Easy to say and I know what it is like in those small hours of the morning lying there, feeling alone, hating yourself, thinking you're rubbish. I've done it, I still do it but I know I've got to stop beating myself up as it really doesn't help.

    If you change nothing, nothing changes.

    I've got 5 stone to lose. I've only just started to take stock of my life and am making some small changes. I was overwhelmed with worry about so many things - money, a new house, trying for a 2nd child, guilt and then of course being obese and unfit.

    On here I found so many wonderful, positive and kind people that helped me see the wood for the trees. Use this forum - it is a great source of comfort, knowledge, amusement and most of all support.

    First off I sat down and forced myself to write everything out that was troubling me, as hard as it was to face and have it in front of me.

    What could I really change, what could I not?

    From the scribbles I worked out my real worries. I made a plan to sort out the money woes and then I've identified my problem areas with my eating and exercise. For me it was daily Latte's and the muffin that would soon follow, my portion sizes, my snacking, eating too much carbs, not drinking enough water and not eating my 5 a-day. These are mine, have a go at working yours out.

    I haven't tackled all of them at once but I knew the first thing I had to ditch was the daily lattes which, for the last 3 weeks, I have done (yay - I am free of their calorific grasp!).

    I am now focusing on 5 a-day, moving more and water consumption. I have lost a little weight doing just these small things and once I get those sorted I will incorporate the next changes - baby steps - but the best thing and thing that will keep me going on this journey is that already I feel so much happier. I feel more in control. I feel I have taken charge of myself. I feel empowered.

    Allowing yourself to love YOU can be so powerful, anything is possible. You are worth it and you can do this.

    On another point, I also went to see my GP. I shouldn't really tell you this, it made me laugh in a sad kind of way at the irony of my plight and where I was seeking help when deep down I know the answer to my particular weighty problems.

    Anyhow, when I walked in to see the GP (we have just moved so he is new to us) I realised I had made a terrible mistake. Instead of the scrawny, fit, judgemental GP's I'm used to, he was huge, grossly overweight. I bumbled on for a few minutes about other health worries I have and then finally I said I was concerned about my weight and if the NHS might have a weigh-in clinic, dietician or something I could look at. He said rather woefully that he didn't want to discuss it as I could tell by his size he had his own demons. He also went on to say that he was the result of a failed gastric band! I really felt for him. His advice? Eat less, move more...bless him.

    Anyway, good luck, take it slow, be kind to yourself and let us know how you are doing.

  • SVR28...this is the most caring, hopeful reply I've ever read. I have different issues, but you made ME feel a whole lot better...THANK-YOU, that was soo nice.

  • Thank You for your lovely words SVR28, i am going to do that list today xx

  • SVR28 All the replies on this thread have been great but this one really speaks to me for some reason. Hope your GP is logged on as well poor chap.

  • Thank you for sharing and caring. Your post is helpful to all of us in the despairs of dieting. thank you. thank you. thank you!!!!

  • Hi,

    I know exactly where you are coming from and it seems like a nightmare but once you get started, you'll feel better, just because you'll be dealing with it. I started slimming world at the end of August, due to being my heaviest and it was affecting my back, which I have had numerous operations on. I have now lost a stone, another 3 to go, so at least have lost a quarter. The group is lovely as is the leader and we are all in the same boat.

    I have had bad depression and just losing a bit of weight can help you feel a bit better about yourself. The good thing is we can do something about it, now before it affects our health anymore.

    Good luck.

  • Hi, first off you have taken the first step, which is good news in itself and like many of us, we are all battling with what we feel are our issues / demons.

    One of the hardest things for me was to accept that I needed to personally agree a permanent lifestyle change, otherwise a diet would only last for the period that I stayed on the diet.

    So the big four for me were to make some initial small changes in diet, exercise, alcohol and attitude - with the overall commitment that this was for the rest of my life - because it is who and what I want to be.

    A year on and 4 stone lighter it is still my mantra, albeit the exercise regime has increased as I have got fitter, the diet is good, but I allow myself some slack, alcohol is still their but in moderation and more selective on what I drink.

    The biggest change has been in attitude in stopping beating myself up and accepting that if I understand that it will take a long time to achieve my goals and there will be + & - then it is more about the journey, than the weekly unachievable milestones that only serve to demoralise, demotivate and destroy any chance of success.

    This site is great for support and for maintaining motivation when the left shoulder devil starts to chime louder than the right. But ultimately it is the contract that I have signed with myself and re-affirm every morning in the mirror that is keeping me on track.

    The advice from SVR28 is great and is something similar to my starting sheet of paper on really defining what the issues are, which you can then set realistic goals and solutions and maintain consistency on a curve that is generally positive, but accept that there will be some dips at times.

    You can achieve what you want in small steps and a sensible timescale, and if you trip up, so what - dust off and go again.

  • Thank you all for your kind words,really means a lot. Today is a new day and i have started by downloading a pedometer app, i am a full time student so i do a lot of sitting around studying. so i am going to get up and out. try and get at least 4,000 steps today. I have decided to not go the doctors like you say SVR28 i know what i need to do. I am going to join the Lifestyles gym in January until then walk walk walk, and try to eating options in the meantime. I will keep informed about how i get on. Really nice to see all the encouraging replies. I have never joined a weight loss forum before. xx

  • Hi Shazzaboo,

    I'm 5 ft 5 and 18 stones too. I've yoyo dieted most of my life. I've been going to weight watchers since march and this time it's not working for me so I've just joined the Terri - Ann 123 diet plan. I don't know how it will go but it's a one off payment and support from then on. Your GP can refer you to weightwatchers for free for 12 weeks. Give it a go and if it works fab, I lost two and a half stones the first time. If it doesn't work look at the one I'm doing.

    Good luck at the docs on Monday they can be so condescending. Ask your GP for help. Ask them to look at your medication if you're on any meds. Ask if it could be anything medical causing it? They will probably ask you to try and lose weight first before sending for tests etc. An like Suzanne said break it all down into smaller manageable pieces so you can cope.

    Kind regards,

    Cannylass

  • Hi, you are doing the right thing by going to see your doctor. Just take it easy and do it in small steps and you'll get there. There is lots of good information on the NHS website about healthy eating.

    Go one step at a time with the changes you want to make and I know this may sound silly, but if you keep reminding yourself each day that you can do this it will help.

    Good luck and I know you can do it.

  • Hi love,

    I absolutely understand. I tried for so long and just couldn't do it. Suddenly my mindset changed and I was able to get going. I can't explain exactly why I was able to do it apart from the fact that I prioritised my health beyond anything else. I joined Scottish slimmers, I bought a second hand wii fit and I made losing weight the all important thing in my life. I wrote (if that is the correct word) plans on word documents with target weights. I planned what I would be eating and I wrote graphs etc etc. I planned for my wii fit

    Good luck to you, Janine x

  • Thank you all, it really has helped me today, went shopping and thought of all the lovely comments when i was feeling weak walking by the goodies and treats. Just put my tea on, Lasagne with lots and lots of veg. So nice to know there are people to talk to when i feel low. Early up tomorrow and out with dogs,raining or not.

    One day at a time, but i am determined to do this. Thank you all again xx

  • Did you walk the dogs this morning?

  • Yep just got back in dogs had walk this morning and will be getting a march around the perimeter of the park this afternoon when i am back from uni. feeling determined this time. Thanks :D

  • And a nice bowl of porridge for brekky x

  • well done! apologies for the late reply - short notice work commitments..... Keep going!

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