Hi everyone,

I have been trying to master having three sensible meals a day (recovering binge eater) and allowing myself little treats if I want them. More to the point that if I feel like having chocolate I'll have one or two truffles and have been doing really well at walking away and not coming back for more. Previously I would sit and eat the whole packet/bar and buy more the same day.

I have had a few small slip ups (an extra piece of bread, veggie pasta for lunch when I planned a salad) but over all I've been quite happy.

However, my 2-3 week glitch has come back. This happens all the time when I try and kick start sensible eating or previous diets- I notice improvement through how I feel or how my clothes fit and then reward myself with food and slack on the being sensible and focusing on being more healthy- ie: only having two chocolates.

Tonight I had a 'treat/cheat meal' as some friends came round for a movie night. I had half a garlic bread pizza, 2 doughnuts and a fair amount of ice cream. Followed by 6 chocolate truffles when everyone had left.

I am struggling to feel motivated about staying on track and I know that weight loss takes a while to show (I have another 6-8kg to loose) but was wondering if anyone had any tips or advice on how they stay motivated when they feel like giving up.

Thank you for your help/advice


14 Replies

  • Hi Charlotte,

    Stop, Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, open them, smile and say out loud

    It's Ok... I've got this!

    It's ok to have the odd 'treat meal' here and there, yes, it is going to slow down your progress a bit, but you have to accept that, ENJOY your treat meal, wake up the next morning fresh, back on track maybe even throw in something very 'progress focused' that will help eliminate those thoughts in your mind of doubt and failure - because that is not who you are, or where you are going ;)

    Perhaps plan a lovely long walk with some friends, or even by yourself with some music, or if you enjoy more strenuous exercise a gym session or workout class, exercise is one of THE best mood up lifters, AND it helps you do something with the extra energy foods you ate ... doubly good :)

    Or you could spend some time today looking up new healthy recipes you could try over the next few weeks, maybe even make one of them tonight?

    You could also say to yourself, well, it's ok, I'm going to balance out that TREAT meal (Not cheat - you haven't done anything wrong) with a super healthy eating day today? Sit down this morning and plan your meals & snacks for the day to be the most healthy, but also most tasty, like your favourite! healthy foods, so you can balance out your food intake overall, but still really enjoy what you eat today - it's not a punishment ;)

    And Lastly, I would recommend - take a minute to Remember Why You Want To Lose Weight, imagine how you're going to feel when you reach your goal weight?

    What does it look like to you? How will you feel? Write it down :D

    For some people it's ....

    To feel happier every day about how you look and feel when you put your clothes on

    To feel more attractive and self-confident

    To have more energy and be able to do more things

    To feel proud of yourself and have a strong sense of achievement

    To feel fitter and stronger and hopefully not have to worry so much about health problems

    To feel in control of how you feel about food and how you want to look

    To feel more confident in attracting a partner

    To be able to buy sexier figure flattering clothes

    To set an example to your children and help them to grow up understanding how to eat healthily

    To be able to achieve a fitness goal, maybe a charity run in honour of someone close to you

    Those Are Some SERIOUSLY Amazing Reasons to Keep Going!

    What are yours?

    You got this Charlotte... No problem xx

  • Hi Charlotte, is there any family around you that can help you. I noticed that you said that you have two doughnuts. Instead of just one, and a fair amount of ice cream.

    Advice is and support is good, but it is your body, and you yourself need to take care of your temple. Nobody can do it for you.

    You don't need to buy those unhealthy snacks from the shop. You have to have the willpower to walk away from them.

    If you have it in your cupboard of course you will eat them. Just don't buy them. Try and buy some nuts , or seeds to snack on them. 6 chocolate truffles that is a bit to much.

    I myself love chocolate and crisps and cakes, but I have to make the sacrifice my weight or those unhealthy snacks. I don't buy them. I only bought food that I need to eat, no treats at all.

    I was a size 14 last year. It has taken me 12 hard months of exercise and hard work to get down to a size 12. It was not easy. I have a few slips up , but I was determined to loose that 10kg of me. I have high blood pressure and diabetes, so I have to have a control diet, but not in excess. I know if I exercise I can maintain my weight.

    Try to some exercise instead of just dieting, diet doesn't work in the long term.

    I hope that will help.

  • Today is a new day. Put last night behind you and get back on track today. Don't buy donuts, truffles, biscuits or other sugar/fat laden foods. I always had them in the cupboard 'just in case' th grandchildren came or someone called. Now I realise that I shouldn't be giving these foods to them either and it was just an excuse for me to buy them for me - and eat them I did! I know that if I eat sensibly and keep busy that I don't need thse foods, particularly the sugar laden ones. That doesn't stop me looking through my cupboards for them, so I just have to stop buying them.

  • Thank you to both of you for taking your time to reply.

    I am quite sporty, and I'm going for a run with a friend later this morning and then a easy class this afternoon.

    I agree, I think I just need to stop buying it. I knew I didn't want the doughnuts but got a bit carried away when I was in the shop. From now on I am going to go shopping on my own because then noone else can influence me to buy unhealthy things. (I know I cannot blame anyone else for me buying the food, but I do have a friend who likes to encourage 'treat' evenings.

    That's a good idea about the meal prep and cooking something I know I like and will enjoy.

    My reasons are to look and feel better, be more confident and be healthier.

    Edith, loosing 10kg is so impressive, well done! Do you treat yourself occasionally or not at all? Do you have any advice on maintaining your new weight?

    I personally will lose weight with exercise and clean eating and then will have a treat because 'I tell myself I deserve it' and then I am not very good at getting back into the 'I don't need it' mindset.


  • hi,

    good idea, charlotte~ begin with your shopping list: if it isn't down there don't buy it. heavyweight sugary treats (truffles) can be substituted for fruit, dark chocolate (100cals/ 4 squares) etc. trawl through the NHS guide to cals chart to see where the calories come from.

    and don't forget- never surrender totally to your sugar addiction, for we all have one to some degree thanks to manufacturers who make millions from our occasional weakness!

  • Dee65. That's exactly it! I kid myself I need biscuits or truffles for when people pop round for a cup of tea or whatever. I don't. And nor do they.

    How do you create a balance though, or do you just restrict yourself to non processed foods and enjoy those??

  • Ladies, total denial of any one food is almost bound to fail long term. Remember this is going to be a "healthier you" for life, not just a temporary "diet". Better you find a way to still have the things you like, just less of it and not every day..... and count it into your allowance. Im a great believer in "a little of what you fancy" , in my case wine and kitkats. But Ive still managed to lose my excess 2st and have kept it off now for the past six months.

  • Elliebath,

    wonderful and if you can do it, so can I. Thank you!

  • Like Edith above, it also took me 12 months to get from size 14 to 12. In my case that was 2 stone and Ive since kept it off since april.

    I counted calories ( using myfitnesspal ) and as well as trying to eat healthier foods etc I still had my regular favourites such as wine and chocolate !! The difference was that I counted them into my weekly calorie total, and I used a smaller wine glass 150ml and bought small 2 finger KITKATS. ( I still do!) My only exercise has been walking, which I learned to like when trying to lose weight... and nowadays I feel stiff and sluggish if for any reason I cant walk for a few days.

    YOU CAN DO THIS TOO Charlotte, and you could probably lose your weight more easily than me, as I am 63 and I guess you're not!!

  • Just don't buy these things. I don't like sweet things so its not a problem for me. My downfall is crisps, cheese & other savouries. If they are in the house they have to be eaten. I will have some crisps if I am out but not at home.

    My main tip is to plan your meals, write a shopping list and stick to it.

    You may find if you cut sugar completely for a while you will stop craving it.

    Good luck and your exercise today will make you feel better.

  • Hi Charlotte and others,

    Really inspiring discussion! What is great about this forum is that we feel we are not alone.

    All the suggestions are practical and do-able.

    You exercise a lot - and that will keep you conscious of being lighter and how good that feels.

    I struggle too - (love dark chocolate and home-made bread). My routine is to splurge on the weekends, still being mindful of the 1400 calorie per day restriction that I will go back to on weekdays.

    Because I make bread (though only every other weekend now), I carry a 2kg flour packet in my rucksack on my walks - to remind me about my goal. Don't know if that will do for you - but the extra weight of the flour makes me think of what my heart has to do each moment. Overload.

    Also, I have bought some nice clothes that are slightly too tight. The expense of the garments, the visualization of wearing them in the near future give me a concrete target.

    Since I have started - in July, I have lost 3 kilograms. What is nice is that two pairs of expensive shoes I bought that were too tight, are now comfortable. That is reward!

    OK. This sounds like an ad for consumerism. Find your own workable routine. And enjoy being in the woods, breathing fresh air.

  • Hi Saltseakate, That was a gamble buying new clothes but great that it worked for you . Trying on my last season clothes was a great motivator for me. Absoluteky no chocolate tastes as good as the feeling you get when you fill two big charity bags with your old oversized clothes!!

  • Eliebath- you are so right about the transcendency of chocolate taste. Will remember that, thanks

  • Hi Charlotte,

    Lots of good advice above. One possibility to help with inspiring you is to run a foodie equivalent of a swear jar. Think of something you would really like to do - a balloon ride, driving a hovercraft, swimming with dolphins, having a spa day/stay, there must be loads of things you would really enjoy. Everytime you were going to buy truffles, or doughnuts or crisps or something else tempting that you shouldn't have, and manage to resist, put the money you have saved by not buying that thing into your swear jar. I suspect the money will mount up, and hopefully thoughts of that wonderful treat you will be able to pay for in the future will motivate you to keep filling the jar and avoiding the short-term treats that just distract you from your goal.

    Don't be too hard on yourself - the new healthy you is for life, not just for a couple months, and you need to find ways to make this sustainable. You can do this, Charlotte.

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