Hope00 is feeling hopeless.. Please help

It's been such a horrid week. I've eaten so much and therefore an increase. I'm really struggling with this and losing motivation. I really don't know what I'm doing wrong, trying to clean up the diet and exercise more (though this week that didn't happen because of various events) but I can't see physical changes at all. It's making me angry with myself.

Uni starts soon and I'm rubbish with time management. I just don't know how I'll balance third year demands and dissertation with exercise - it's possible no doubt but does any one have any helpful tips at all?

Also, does everyone on here have a gym membership or do some of you just work out at home? Do you think it's worth spending money on a gym membership or will working out at home be good? Again, I don't know if should spend money on a membership in case i dont have time :(

Thanks for listening to my moans :(

18 Replies

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  • Take a deep breath and consider what you have achieved. You will get back on track just be patient with yourself. Gyms are expensive and you may find it easier to do exercises at home.Start with something simple like brisk walking

    The thing to remember is that we had good reasons to start and those reasons are still valid.

    Good luck and keep posting

  • Thanks rossie1942 :)

  • Hi Hope, I agree with Rossie, be kind to yourself...and a little patient too. Small steps will result in a long journey...given time. It's so hard being a student. One of the big problem is,as you say the problem with time management. Fast food and processed foods fool us into thinking they're our only cheap option...but not true. Try to shop For fresh or frozen veg and fruit. Just in date. Costs less and then check out low cal meals on the bbc website. Veg curries are really quick to make with very few calories and can live in the fridge for three or more days. Good luck!

  • Hi

    I am not sure you are going to like my answer - there is no sugar coating here.

    You have been here 8 months and looking back over your posts there is a pattern of asking how to get motivation and saying you do not have time for exercise and, like this post, often blaming things for your inability to stick to a diet plan.

    "Events" do not stop you losing weight or exercising, you do.

    If you are "rubbish at time management" stop using it as an excuse and fix it. You are procrastinating and giving up before you start.

    Up until last Thursday I was at work 12 hours a day, 7 days a week for 2 months. On August 2nd I decided it was time to address my weight problems and I managed to do at least 10,000 steps a day and I lost nearly 8 kilos.

    I did this by getting up at 6:00 a.m., spending 45 mins walking and 30 mins - 60 mins preparing my food for the day. I got my groceries delivered so I didn't have to go shopping. Every 30 mins I would get up from my desk and walk around the office at a fast pace doing around 200 steps. Over 12 hours that small amount equaled nearly 5000 steps in a day. I did this because I was sick of feeling fat and I made it my mission and found a way to get it done.

    And I am not saying you should do exactly the same thing or telling you this just to brag but I AM saying stop finding reasons NOT to lose weight and start working on ways that you CAN lose weight.

    Saying you don't have time is simply not a real thing. Look around you - millions of people manage to exercise and eat well - and have a lot more responsibility and pressure than you do.

    Find people who you believe manage time well and ask them for their secret. I guarantee it will be very simple. They prioritise what is important to them - and if your health is not your top priority then you need to make it that.

    You have time - you have to prioritise it. There are MANY many self help websites that can show you how to manage your time better - start being proactive and address the problem. If weight management was a real priority to you then you would FIND time.

    As for joining a gym its your call not ours but how does joining a gym give you more time in your day? I suspect you are hoping the action of joining a gym will magically give you motivation? It won't.

    What COULD help is finding a buddy to go to the gym with you so it makes you accountable OR pay for some personal trainer sessions.

    Decide what your goal is - why do you want to lose weight? What is your end game.

    For me it is being healthy enough participating in a 100 km bike ride next November and I know as I cross that finish line I will feel incredible and my self esteem will be through the roof.

    Maybe for your its looking amazing for a wedding or getting that spectacular dress you have always wanted - dig deep and find your goal.

    It seems like you are doing the same things and having the same challenges as you were having 8 months ago.

    Keep doing what you're doing keep getting what you've got.

    Time to stand up, dust yourself off and be honest with yourself so you can really start to change your life.

  • Listen to Dave. He is right. We all have busy lives, like a lot of people on this site I work more than full time, have other responsibilities and a major health issue, so being at university is tough but you can always find excuses not to eat healthily or exercise. I know because I did the same for more years than I'd like to count. Be positive, you can do this!

  • Actually, I really liked your answer. I think I just needed someone to be downright honest with me.. Thank you for this

  • And I know people have different and more important responsibilities, I've only got to look at my own parents to see that. I didn't mean to sound like I'm the only one with responsibilties. I really admire the fact you get up so early and are committed, something I need to try and do.

    thank you once again, your answer is really making me think

  • I am so proud of you for taking this in the spirit it was meant. I really am.

    I have been a little worried all day that my answer was too harsh but I knew that what I was saying was right, I just hoped you would see that I was not picking on you but was trying to help you see what your head was saying to you.

    You can do this - you REALLY CAN. I know it.

    And maybe you should have a look at the post I just put up - perhaps you have a Bert (or Bertha) inside as well. ;)

  • Initially I did find it harsh but I re read it and decided that it wasn't harsh. And I'm glad you responded with such an honest answer because let's face it, it's what I needed!

    Okay, I will check it out, thanks once again :)

  • SPOT ON Dave ! We are all only responsible for the choices we make. If we find ourselves relying on emotional reasoning and managing how bad that can feel with food and drink is why a load of us have ended up here.

    Read The Chimp Paradox by Dr Steve Peters - one of the most useful and insightful books on personal psychology ever written. Then Read Sane New World by Ruby Wax, and then if you really want to start making changes get hold of the Mark Williams Mindfulness materials. Your Uni may well have a centre for mindfulness that offers courses. I'm doing one in a couple of weeks at UCNW Bangor.

    Its our minds that do this to us. The answer isn't out there its in our minds. We cannot solve the problems of our thoughts, feelings and minds with the skills we use in the real world. We need to find and learn to use better tools.

    You can do this - learn to spot your struggle then learn to not get involved in it!

  • Good morning Hope.🌅

    Sorry it's been a bad week. 🐰

    Eventually you will find that if you can tackle lifestyle issues, diet, exercise, time management and budgeting then the study requirements and life in general might seem less overwhelming. It is all related.

    Most students have access to subsidised gyms but there are exercise opportunities everywhere once you spot them. Dave had some very good stuff to say on that point. If you are broke keep your money or use it to join Weight Watchers or Slimmers world: there should be groups around the university.

    You might spend some money on a counsellor: be a bit careful with this so go to your student health services and get a referral from them - do not just find someone on line. If you put the issues to him/her exactly as you have described it in the post above and in some of your other posts, a qualified counsellor might really help you. I did this late last year for several sessions and it was money really, really well spent. For the cost of a wedding outfit I finally started to solve problems that have been bothering me for years.

    Have a nice day💐

  • thanks for your advice :) I've been looking into slimming world and I'm thinking of joining one that's opening soon!

  • Bless you, your week sounds horrid, but hey there is always a new start. I don't belong to a gym as too expensive at the moment but I love going out for a walk with my headphones in and it's a good way to chill.

    Third year is really hard I know, my youngest finished his third year in June and he was really stressed, he joined a gym on the uni site, really cheap and open all night !!!!!!, mad I know but he went late so he could relax and it helped him to wind down.

    This will be a hard year but worth it in the end. Don't be so hard on yourself you are expecting a lot from your body right now.

    Remember last week is over and that's in the past, look forward to the future, it's amazing and I'm sure you can do it. :)

  • Thank you Jo4950, that's so kind of you :)

  • Wooho go go go YOU can do it :)

  • Get out there and enjoy what is going to be one of the most exciting and rewarding years of your life! Go for it!

  • I'm also studying, postgraduate part-time, while also doing more freelance jobs than you'd believe. This means I'm actually quite flexible timewise, but the hours I do really add up, e.g. some days I'll still be working on a contracted job at midnight for a deadline early the next morning, or when I have an essay deadline, there's no time for anything and I'm just hard at it for the last few weeks til it's done (classic procrastinator).

    I didn't have time to start couch to 5k, I didn't have time to prepare healthy food that was actually healthy enough to lead to weight loss, and I got out of the habit of preparing packed lunches. I had to actually cut down my study time, give up a few bits of freelance work here and there, and re-juggle everything to change my lifestyle around. But now I've lost 19lbs, gained so much energy and self-confidence, and as a result become better focused on all the things I'm doing, not just on managing my weight. I really think when you're feeling that things can't be changed, if you start examining your habits, you find they can be.

    Take a look at everything in your life and make overarching goals. You want to succeed in your degree, your career, your personal development, and also sustain a healthy lifestyle, build self-belief and control, and become the person you want to be. Keep visualising your goals, work out what you need to do to get there, break it all down into manageable stages, celebrate each stage as you reach it, and stay focused to the end. Lots of luck - lots of good advice on this thread, and nothing I don't wish someone had said to me in the beginning too!

  • Thank you so much, this is really motivating!

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