Feeling so down and angry!: Haven't been on... - Weight Loss NHS

Weight Loss NHS

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Feeling so down and angry!


Haven't been on forum for ages due to giving support to my family, and, its probably that plus my stupidity that has added 2stone to my weight from 18mths ago.

Looked at myself in mirror this morning side on and my inflated, obese abdomen is so big I look like I'm having twins!!! I'm not bad looking but at the moment I look awful and feel a mess.

Didn't help when hubby said "when did you last see your feet", it wasn't until later when I thought more about comment that it really upset me. He had said it in front of our daughter and grandson but she never said anything. When I told our son he said he would have been joking-but thats not the point... he had said it!!!

My blood pressure is higher than its ever been and I have to go hospital for week long event recorder-DO NOT want to go on medication as it never agrees with me. Its such a vicious circle, I want to lose this obese person and feel happy in myself and about myself but I'm stuck in this habitual eating pattern at night that I can't seem to stop, I feel emotional, like having a good cry and feel sorry for me but thats not the answer I know. I want to get back to being in control of my eating behaviour/habits but it just doesn't seem to even last a day without blowing everything.

17 Replies

Hi Jeneca. I'm sorry you feel so low, but I hope by coming on this forum and telling us maybe you will feel better? Tell your hubby that although it was just a throwaway comment it made you feel sad that he said it, and just not helpful. Evening eating is tough to stop! Get out the house away from the fridge and food cupboards and go for a long walk, you will feel so much better, shutting the front door and leaving your worries behind you for a while. I did the NHS C25K programme and there is nothing like it for emptying your mind - all you can think about is putting one foot in front of the other and making it through the programme. Also it takes your mind off food as a solution. It helped me get fitter and my previously high blood pressure is now normal. I hope you feel better soon and know you always have the support from everyone on forum xx


Ok so you have come to the same point all of us have at some point. Now is the time to take action. Not because of your husband but for you.

You need to start by deciding to love yourself enough to change habits and get healthier.

First weigh yourself and take measurements and a photo. So that as you get healthier you can remember how far you have come.

Take a look at the nhs 12 week plan. A lot of us do this plan and the good thing about it is that it is not prescriptive. If snacks in the evening are important to you, plan them in.

A lot of us use a free app called myfitnesspal which helps to track what you are eating and doesn't just count calories but helps balance nutrition too.

It even has a barcode scanner so it is easy and quick to use.

Try and get more active. Make simple changes determine to walk further. Don't use lifts or escalators etc. As you get fitter you can build it up.

On Monday morning Lowcal does a group weigh in. Join us if you want.

This forum is a supportive, encouraging and inspirational place.

All of us are changing habits in our quest to get healthier and slimmer. Some have lost stones others lbs but we all understand the problems

Welcome back hun, that first positive step has just been taken. Crass comments from our nearest and dearest are the ones that tend to cut the deepest, so it's no wonder you feel down. I'm going to make a suggestion to try and help with the evening craving, colouring books for adults! Seriously, everytime you get that binge urge, open the book and colour in. If you still have the urge then have something, but try and allow for this in eating lighter through the day. I know how difficult it can be, need to lose my beachball body myself. Just don't keep beating yourself up, try to see things from another angle. So you can't see your feet stood up, sit down and stretch those legs out in front of you, lift up your heels and do some bottom bounces - you can see your feet and your knees. Positives, not negatives. Good luck for this coming week chick 😊

Jenica in reply to ShellieL

Thanks for ideas, will look out for adult colouring books, never seen them .

When did you let see your feet? "When I took them of your throat dear!" That was harsh and unsupportive. Perhaps you should have a word? Stuff like that can fester, lead to unhappiness, and BINGO! - emotional eating!

I'd echo the other comments here. You'll be surprised how well you can do by focussing on what you want, what you need to do and using the - away from - motivators you describe! You sound a lot like me about a year ago. Now I'm getting towards where I want to be and I look and feel a load healthier as a result. I'm also saving a fortune on not having all the bad stuff I used to think I needed!

The 12 plan is simple and it works - you might feel a bit rough as you adapt to your target calories but after my 8 weeks 1500 calories feels absolutely plenty. When I stick to it, I loose weight, its as simple as that and you can do it too!

Perhaps your family would like to join you in becoming more healthy? Its a load easier with a peer / support group? Mindy you , you've got the forum and the lovely people on it to give you all the support you want!

Focus on what you are getting not giving up! Every little victory is a victory on the road to success. Set yourself a manageable target each week - just losing 1LB to start with will be 1LB less!

Be Positive and the be Smug!

Dave196125kg in reply to andrewleeone

"When did you let see your feet? "When I took them of your throat dear!" "


Welcome back Jenica,

Believe it or not I was wondering what had happened to you only last week, I'm glad you're back but sorry you are so down in the dumps. I can only echo what everyone else has already said and to emphasize the support and encouragement you can expect from this forum, but you already know that from when you were a regular contributor giving help and support to the rest of us.

Throw away comments from those we love hurt the most, wait until the two of you are alone and maybe ask your hubby to just sit and listen to what you want to tell him, don't be afraid to let him know just how much his careless words have hurt and affected your confidence, I'm sure he will be surprised to know how powerful his words have been. Let him know it's because you love him, respect him and value his opinion that his comments have hurt you so much.

Take good care of yourself Jenica, although as Mum's we will always want to care and protect our family, it's important to look after yourself too, you need to be healthy and strong to be a carer.

Have a good week.

I will echo what others have said - get Myfitnesspal and use it religiously. Its free and its fantastic - it has helped me SO much with controlling my calories.

I assume you are like I was, hiding in plain site munching down food. I have always been a night eater but what has saved me is committing to not eating ANYTHING at night apart from this really expensive yoghurt I have bought.

Its just so delicious - its not fat free but so good and I use Myfitnesspal to tell me exactly how much of this deliciousness I can measure out to sat under my calorie goal each day.

I even swapped from a skinny latte to a long black with milk on the side so I could enjoy a little more yoghurt at night.

The problem is not that you are eating too much its that you don't believe you can stop.

I believe you can. I truly do. I am sure you have been through your share of hardship and lived to tell the tale.

This is not OK. Its YOUR body and its time to stop your head playing with you and take control.

Every time you get a craving it's not that your body wants anything at all its your head that wants it.

Its some crying, whimpering little 4 year old who knows if it kicks up a fuss it will gets way. Time to put that little snot in the naughty corner and take control!

We're here for you and I can't wait for your to start and feel the benefits.

Jenica in reply to Dave1961

You are so right Dave1961 it is my head that wants it and I give in, true I wouldn't give in to my grandchildren demands all the time so why do I give in to me-that is really something I have taken on board, I'm going to keep that image in my head-naughty corner it is!

Cristalmundo in reply to Jenica

You can do this! You can turn your life around - but you have to believe that you can - no matter how many times you have failed. I had the same problem with giving up smoking, I struggled for 17 years, but I eventually did it and I never looked back. It's not the thousands of failures that matter, it is the one successful attempt that makes the difference!

Thank you everyone for support, great you remembered me too Jenever. Feeling more positive today, been to gym too. Will let you know how I get on next week, going to start recording calories again on myfitnesspal app.

Time to see therapist to help you desensitize either thru talk or meds.

I too am an angry emotional eater. I too am aware of the vicious cycle. I had to go the meds route wellbutrin/topamax to stop it. I was worse first than 3 mos later conquered this enemy. Time to return to meds. Thanks Jenica. Thru you I see me! Keep us posted what insights worked for you.

Wobbleless2st 7lbs

Sometimes it all just seems too hard and like we have no control. But we do and you have lost weight before so you know you can. I think the comment your husband made has hurt you and it might be an idea to tell him that. Make sure you are doing this for yourself, and your health.

Take back control and make the choice you want ....food can become the boss so easily without us realizing it. Good luck.

morelessAdministrator in reply to Wobbleless

Just so that you're aware that you may not get a response, Wobbleless, this is a 3 year old post :)

Wobbleless2st 7lbs in reply to moreless

Oh no thank you for pointing it out.....I find this site very helpful ....but a bit confusing😊😀😁

There are quite a few posts on here today it seems that are Three years old. Perhaps Jenica will read her posts & know that we’re still thinking of her. Keep working towards things & Hope all is well! My husband once told me a few nasties when he was leaving & told me he would eat his hat if I lost weight but I turned things round (for me) then told him to eat his hat. Sure enough he wanted to make amends & said he’d made biggest mistake of his life. I still struggle but have a wonderful new partner who is very supportive 😍

Hi, Have you read The 4 Pillar Plan by Dr Rangan Chatterjee?

His advice is working for me. He doesn't just focus on loosing weight but on how you feel as well.

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