Things I do because I'm fat part 2:

1. Never order anything in a restaurant that doesn't come with chips (waste of a meal out without them, right??)

2. Sing and dance in my car whilst stuck in traffic jams, this prevents me from tucking into the glovebox 'traffic stash' of crisps and chocolate. Once a guy at a bus stop spotted me and joined in. Best. Day. Ever.

3. have a stash of chocolate and crisps in my glove box called 'the traffic stash' that I keep in case I'm ever stranded. This gets eaten and replenished probably monthly. I have never been stranded. Ever.

4. Tell people I have a heart murmur to get out of rounders games at work. This is true, I do have an eptopic beat but it doesn't affect my ability to exercise at all.

5. Vehemently defend my right to have a fat body and insist I'm happy ALL THE TIME. Get angry at Katie Hopkins on the TV when she demonises fat people and actively shout at the telly box... Whilst secretly hating my body and agreeing with a lot of her points about sled image. I do not agree with 90% of us opinions, however.

6. Desperately want tattoos, but on a thin body... #catch22

7. Never, ever under any circumstances let my OH see me naked under full lights. Know why dimmer switches are sexy folks? Because they hide cellulite and wobbly bits. That's why.

.....

Part 3 coming soon!

1 Reply

oldestnewest
  • Here, here. Never thought about a glove box food stash before - been missing out all those years of an extra hidy hole. Couldn't have chocolate in there though. My OH has found all my stash spots :-( too observant husband.

You may also like...