Low self esteem

My self esteem is so low I don't always leave the house as I feel so huge, and I don't want people to look at me, more to the point I don't want to see the disgust in there faces.

My partner doesn't help make me feel good. Yes he says I'm beautiful but that's mainly on a bad day.

What did you do to help get more confidence? I'm going to look into healthy meals and use them instead of the usual rubbish I eat I'm hoping at cutting down on the rubbish will help start losing weight and then my confidence will be ok to go outside more to lose even more.

I'm sick of feeling like this. Any tips?

Thank you.

7 Replies

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  • Hi beautobliv, I am not sure how big you are but when I started here I was 24st 7lb. I was starting to avoid doing things because I was so uncomfortable with my size but it is a slippery catch 22 situation.

    I would encourage you to go out and walk as much as you can. I don't know how fit you are but when I started I could barely walk 1km, it took me 20 mins and I was sweating buckets and it was mid January. I have found the walking really hard at times but it worth persevering with and will make you feel much better in yourself. Also if you are large you can burn off a good few calories walking, I burn off more than 100 per km.

    On the food front, start by making small manageable changes you can maintain for life but don't ban any foods, just reduce those that aren't so healthy.

    Good luck and seriously, if I can do it anyone can!

  • Think of an easy first step, such as opening the front door and walking to the gate. Then practice it, and practice it, preparing for the next easy step, all the time working towards your bigger goal, and then beyond. Practice builds confidence.

    Great idea to eat healthy; you might try the Change 4 Life website, focussing on the whole-food recipes and watching your portion size, rather than going low-fat.

    Good luck!

  • you've taken the first step by joining this page. Everyone is supportive here, all human, all working on improving our health, and weight. Good tips already said, walking and small changes. Don't let anyone distract you, partners are the worst for this even if they are well intentioned with 'its the weekend' or 'one won't matter'.

    You're doing this for you, there's a whole life out there just waiting for you xx

  • Hi Beautobliv, I am sorry you are feeling this way. This might well be as bad as you ever feel because once you try something -anything really - you will feel better and then that will lead to something else. The practical advice in the other comments is bang on and also as your own plan got cutting out the "rubbish" is a great place to start. Best of luck. Keep posting.

  • My confidence was at an all time low, apart from work i never went out. I went to talking therapies to help with low self esteem and anxiety and they really helped. I learnt to see the positive side of things, it takes time and i still have bad days but i learnt that i deserve to be happy. Also the more i lose the happier in myself i feel. I do all my exercise at home except when i go walking, so it can be done. You will have good days and bad days but it is so worth the effort to put yourself first! Learn to love yourself hun, you deserve it

  • The basic formula is eat less, move more, but in reality it's so much more complicated than that! It's more like eat less crap, eat smaller portions of better food. I would say that's a good start.

    For the move more part, walking is a good start. Home exercises are another good one, the NHS Choices website has loads of options so take a look around.

    I hope you find something that works for you, good luck!

  • Hi angel xx

    I have low self esteem aswell, and have just started to change my life around, eat healthier etc due to health problems causing severe pain.

    I have a special poem I give to people who are in need of some comfort and support, today is your lucky day!!

    When angels sense you need them

    And angels always do

    They come unseen from everywhere

    To love and comfort you

    They hover close beside you

    Till all your fears are gone

    Till they think you're ready

    Once again to carry on,

    Then some of them fly away

    Taking their comfort and love

    To others who are in need

    Of their comfort very much,

    But one atleast stays with you

    As your comfort and your guide

    As guardian angels never leave you

    They are always by your side!!

    Print the poem out and put it where you'll get most comfort from it!

    If you would like a life style buddy, I'd be honoured to be there for you. I don't do the "D " word! But being as we're at rock bottom, the only way is up really!!

    I'll warn you I'm a bit of a rebel as you can see from my photo with th purple hair, but I'm nearly 46 and have a lot of grey hair and I'll be buggered if I'm gonna grow old gracefully!! Lol

    Take care, gentle hugs and angel blessings xx😇 xx

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