So lost :(

I wrote a mini post about this the other day. I just cannot control my eating :( I started afresh for June but I've just stuffed myself again. I have a horrible headache and am tired and teasy.

Do I need to look further into why I do this? I start off so well for a couple of days and then I ruin it. Have had a knee injury since Jan so that hasn't helped. I know everything there is to know about eating healthily, exercising etc but I just can't do it!

Am so down in the dumps and don't know what to do with myself :(

35 Replies

  • You can do it Cornishgirl. Have you tried drinking water when you get the urge to eat or brushing your teeth?? Don't have things within easy reach.

    Do you have a partner or family member who can help you ? Someone who can put the biscuits on top of the wardrobe or high cupboard.

    You can do it, chin up.xx

  • I have a partner who is very supportive but I find myself buying/eating rubbish when he's at work :( I just need to get this willpower back xx

  • When do you start your Healthy eating program ??

  • It's 29 June Beaton xx

  • If you are eating because he's out and you are at home - try going out, for just a short walk and don't take anything to eat with you, nor anything to drink unless you feel lost without a bottle of water within reach.

    I find it much easier to not over-eat when I am out and about. I also don't take more than £2 cash with me - so there is less temptation to have a cake with a cup of coffee.

  • Beaton is right cornishgirl. Try drinking water each time you feel like snacking. You'll be surprised how often hunger is misunderstood and is in reality thirst.

    Come on. You CAN do it. Just keep checking and keep positive. Everyone is here for you.

    If it's any consolation, I've felt pretty down this week and am struggling to stop myself from snacking so I know it's difficult. Just keep remembering your ultimate goal and you WILL get there xx

  • Poppytepat - thank you for your reply, much appreciated. I think I am 100% an emotional eater and I am just starting to recognise that! Good luck with your journey and am sorry you've had a tough week xx

  • What support do you have at home? I live by myself so it's up to me to keep healthy foods in the cupboards with only small quantities of the not so good stuff for treats. I understand it is harder if you've got a family at home because you have to consider their needs too. But I find the freezer is my best friend its hard to eat something if it's still frozen!

    Do you have a hobby that you can do rather than snacking? Being busy takes your mind off food and keeps your hands busy. Come on to this site if you feel like eating, replying to a few posts distracts you from your immediate cravings.

    If you can follow a healthy eating plan for a couple of days then you can do it for a longer period of time.

    If you are still concerned about there being underlying reasons for your problems controlling your eating then perhaps you should consider getting support from a professional. Best wishes.

  • Thank you linggirl for your reply. I live with my partner who is very supportive and tries to stop me from eating bad food but then I get mad and he gives in to me. I love walking and reading so maybe I need to go to those first rather than stuffing myself. Thanks again xx

  • Sorry to have to write this but a partner who tries to stop you eating bad food is the worst possible support.

    You say you get mad and he gives in. That is reinforcing bad habits, not a good thing.

    I had to tell my wife off for advising me not to eat things she thought would hinder my to weight loss.

    "It has to be MY choice," I would say "because no-one can do this for me."

    Douglas Bader, the WW II fighter pilotl, would never have flown again, let alone inspired so many others if every time he tried to use his metal legs a well meaning but stupid nurse had rushed over and strapped him into a wheel chair.

    Unless you, and you alone, decide what you are going to eat no permanent changes can happen.

    Even today, when I told my wife I was going to take my weight down to 11 ½ st, her reaction was "Do you think that is wise?"

    My unspoken answer was "Yes." That reinforces that it is MY choice to limit my foods.

    If she had said "That's a good thing, about time too." I might have felt dimished and unconciously fought for my independence by starting to gorge again.

    One other thing though. Could you let us know what you regard as "Bad" foods?

    I am horrified at the people still avoiding saturated fat and pouring sugar sweetened drinks down their throats.

    I ate a small cod fillet in breadcrumbs with 5 chips and mushy peas an hour ago and could not now eat any more food even if my wife begged me to. Because Good food Fills you up!

    Lots of people successfully losing weight on this site reccomend the dietdoctor site, others, videos like "Is sugar toxic"

    My personal enlightenment came about when I typed "sugar and inflammation" but you could replace that with "cancer"," Heart attacks" "ageing"," strokes"."diabetes","hunger", "Amputations"

    Once you find foods that satisfy your hunger, the smiles on your face will be all the sunshine he needs, BUT be firm about his not interfering.

  • Do you know - this all makes so much sense and I cannot understand why I didn't realise that before??

    I need to be in control of my eating, I need to make my own food choices, I can't rely on others to monitor me - I'm a grown woman!

    However - one thing I find really difficult is how judgemental others are about my food choices. If I'm eating healthily and refuse a treat at work (if I genuinely don't what it) they'll say I'm being too hard on myself. If I have one, they'll say 'ooh and I thought you were trying to eat healthily!' So sometimes I feel like I can't win.

    I don't drink any fizzy drinks (ever) or alcohol. I drink coffee (trying to limit that now) and water. By 'bad foods' I mean things like fast foods (McDonalds etc), crisps, chocolates, pasties etc.

    I've not heard of the dietdoctor site, I'll look at that now.

    I've watched every possible health documentary and read every book - I just don't seem to be able to apply it to myself?

    Thank you so much again for your reply. It was a 'hallelujah' moment.

  • May God bless you with wisdom, willpower & water.

    I apologize for ignoring your headaches.

    My wife, bless her, had to constantly remind me to drink some water every time I complained of a headache after starting the 12 week plan.

  • Hi CornishGirl1977, i understand exactly where you are coming from. For years I have been able to control my food intake and have also binge dieted on all kinds of fad diets. recently however after lossing nearly 3stones last year from jan to sept. ( i was barely eating and my day started from 4.30am till 12am 7days a week. I was completed exhausted) I ended up stopping work all together. From oct2014 -may2015 i have put on 10kg!! but like you i was constantly bingeing. I just could not get a grip on my eating habit. I was tired, dizzy , aches in my muscles, lower back pain and just generally despondent. I thought i was also pre menopausal to boot as well.

    My oldest and dearest friend ordered me to go to My Gp to have full blood test.

    Girl I am so glad i did, I found out my iron count is really low and has been for a good couple of years, also my Vitamin D count is also insufficient which is affecting the my muscles, concentration mood and metabolism.

    GP has put me on Vit D supplements not over the counter ones you will need the right dose for you if you have a deficiency and iron.

    From starting the supplements in the last 1.5 weeks and taking my Iron I have bags more energy and i have also most importantly been able to eat properly without even feeling like i want to binge.

    Typical day now , 8am small bowl of all bran, with semi skimmed milk half a banana, ginger tea x 2

    11am Sharon Fruit large.

    Ginger tea

    1.30pm mixed leaf rocket and iceberg salad 2 tablespoons of reduced fat coleslaw 2 slices of ripe advocado, half a can of tuna in brine, or mackrel, or sardines or salmon.

    low cal dilute ( I like mine quite weak)

    I small pot of low fat yoghurt

    some almonds raw x 10-15

    6.30pm half a can of vegetable soup ( if you fancy it sometimes I dont ) more Ginger tea.

    Persevere but i would go see GP to get bloods done to see where you are low.

    Good luck and don't give up I haven't.


  • Lydicat18 thank you. I think I will make an appointment to go to the doctors and just explain my situation. My doc is great. A suffering again with a major headache so much so that I am home from work. Appreciate your words xx

  • Wow I would be climbing the walls if I only ate that in a day! My diet is not too dissimilar but I do like a proper meal in the evening.

  • Hi Cornishgirl, why we do these things is different for everyone and you probably need to take the time to get your head around things. I would say I spent a month or so cutting back and making a few manageable changes before I actually committed myself to losing weight.

    Maybe you need to ease yourself in a bit making gradual manageable changes and as you get comfortable with one, make another change. Maybe when you get the urge to binge you could look at what you normally have and say remove one thing like a bag of crisps or just put half in a bowl and throw the rest away. Swap some of the more calorific ones for lower calorie ones. Far better to make slow progress than none at all.

    Good luck!

  • Thank you sueper for your reply. I'm so mad with myself as I just can't find my willpower. Summer is getting closer and I think I'm pressuring myself too much xx

  • You may be putting too much pressure on yourself. Try to be kind to yourself - you don't need to do this all at once. Take your time, and you will find your way.

    Good luck!

  • If you feel you want to talk to someone try talking therapies they helped me loads with my anxiety and low self image, i never wouldve started this plan before i spoke to them. If not maybe keep a food diary write down what you eat and how you felt and why you ate it, you may see a pattern like rubbish day at work etc so you can create a plan of action so when you have a rubbish day at work you dont go straight for the food. I used to eat when depressed as didnt think i was worth even trying but now ive learnt i am worth the effort, you can do this hun. Have faith we are all here for you

  • Thank you fibronfedup for your reply. I def think that it has a lot to do with work. I appreciate your kind words xx

  • Hi sorry to hear you are feeling down. The only person who can change you is you. You have got to want to change and believe you can make the changes in order for the changes to happen. It will take a lot of strength and will power to achieve your goal and if you take it one day at a time you can get there. Use the 12 week plan to help you stay focused week after week. Be that person you want to be. Take control and love yourself first. Don't let the food control you. You can beat this and we are here to support you along the way. Please don't be down, pick yourself right back up and start your journey again it's never to late.

    This is how I stayed focused in the earlier weeks and telling myself this was what got me where I am today. I hope this helps you hun x best of luck x

  • Thanks Trafford for your reply much appreciated. I agree I need to do it for myself for some reason I don't seem to be there right now. My headache and knee injury have knocked me down too. However I'm always prepared to get back up again! xx

  • Good on you hun x

  • Cornishgirl I feel for you in your struggle and feeling unwell as well.

    I'd like to make a suggestion that you, for the time being, simple try to eat as healthly as you can. Do not count calories or limit the quantity of healthy foods you are eating, also have health snacks between meals. As others have suggested make sure you drink plenty of water.

    Hopefully this will make you feel fitter and more in control of you eating and yourself. But if you do have a blip just try and forget about it get and continue on with your new healthy eating plan.

    In time if this works for you, you can start gradually cut down on some of the carbs you are eating. Remember that your extra pounds took a long time to gain so you can afford to allow yourself sometime to learn to eat healthly. A lot of us on this site have and are hooked on binge foods so we are with you on this journey. I hope we will all in time achieve what we want.

    Ros xx

  • Thank you Ros1 for your wise words. I'm going to try that today. I've followed diets for my whole adult life. I think that's a great way for me to restart my journey xx

  • Hi Cornishgirl

    I like you seem to have been dieting or piling the weight back on for nearly as long as I can remember. This way of controlling my eating was suggested to me by the NHS dietitian that I have been seeing every few months for the last 19 months. Her view was that I know all about calorific values, as you do, and that I did eat healthly foods most of the time. My problem was the high carb and sugar foods I eat, mainly in the evening, when I was on my own.

    I have found that forgetting about counting calories has worked for me, I hope it might for you as well.

    Message me or post on here if you what to chat anytime.

    Ros1 xx

  • I am convinced my mood swings are low vitamin B/sugar related. The headaches are an interesting subject. Look at what you are eating and what you have changed. If you used to drink a lot of sugary carbonated drinks or coffee, you could be detoxing from the caffine. It will get better the longer you avoid caffine if this is the case.

  • Have another killer headache today :( am going to make a list of everything I've eaten and drunk over the last few days. Thank you for your reply kate2604 xx

  • Sorry to hear you are feeling unwell. You've had loads of good advice on here.

    I definitely find diversion tactics are the best. These days I use exercise but I appreciate that can be difficult with a knee problem. I have done cross stitch in the past which keeps the hands and mind busy!

    Good luck

  • I would say dont give up,keep starting again and the habit will develop as the old one subsides,I think to busy yourself and the craving for food instantly will leave or have glass of water,this is what I am doing and I have already cut down on coffee,I am a real addict with this , Hope your mood lifts soon.

  • Thank you. I too am a coffee addict (work in a school - kind of goes with the job!) so I'm trying to have one when I wake up, peppermint tea throughout the day and then one more coffee when I get home. I usually drink between 5-6 mugs of coffee a day! xx

  • I had exactly the same problem but there's a solution: TRACK YOUR DAMN FOOD. Don't just say "i'm eating healthy today", get MyFitnessPal or another calorie counting app and track every single thing you put in your mouth. This is exactly the reason why eating plans dont work for me, because I lose my willpower and can't get back on track. Trust me, keep a record of all the food you eat and you'll be amazed how well it works for willpower and stopping you taking your daily calories for granted :)

  • I have My Fitness Pal and I log everything I eat (even the stuff I'd really rather not admit to).

    Thanks for your advice :) much appreciated xx

  • hey mate,dont be down on yourself. its a hard habit to break, just like those with addictions. i have binge eating problems sometimes but i tell you the more you carry on with not doing it, truly it does get easier. i think it may be worth also looking into the reasons why you are binge eating, as it may be a form of escapism or comfort for you, in which case you need to find a different coping method. May God bless you on your journry x

  • Ok Mrs this is what we do: Write a biiiiig old list of all the foods you crave regularly and all we're going to do if avoid those foods for a bit. We're going to make your body "forget" the dopamine response it gets from high fat high sugar foods and "reset" your cravings. THIS WORKS. I did it and I've now been "clean" for 5 weeks without any cravings at all for the last 2 weeks. Eat your meals as normal but if (for example) you often crave a roast dinner throughout the day at work, don't cook roast dinners!

    A Trigger food (the foods you need to write down) are foods that:

    1. You think about eating even when you are not hungry

    2. When you think about them your mouth salivates even when you have just eaten

    3. You consume until you are uncomfortably full

    4. You identify as a "favourite" food that you binge on.

    The point of the exercise is not to deny yourself everything, just those things that you get a miss-weighted pleasure response from.

    I promise you after a week your cravings will drop.

    Clean living here we come :)

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