Well meaning family?

It seems the minute I let everyone know I'm changing my eating habits, they react in 2 specifc ways :

1. Start to tell me what I should and should not eat.

2. Keep saying. Treat yourself, and then push biscuits, chocolate, etc under my nose.

I love them dearly, and I know they mean well, but it can be hard work with enablers in the house.

I've resisted the temptations but it can be hard going, especially week one.

I know I can do it, and I'm sure they will soon be re-educated and may even decide to join me.

9 Replies

  • Yes, people can be so unsupportive! I actually think it's impolite to force food on people. Would they offer alcohol to an alcoholic? Good luck in reeducating your family!

  • I feel for you, people dont realise how hard it can be and pushing food on you just doesnt help. Sit them down and tell them straight that you are doing this for you and that you know they mean well but their support would be more appreciated so much more. Stay strong it is so worth it

  • I know it is hard but maybe one way to deal with it is not to make a big thing out of it. Your family know you are doing it but don't have it as an issue. It is something positive that you are doing for yourself and not for them. A simple no thanks and move on. We are here to help you . Sometimes people who are going through the same thing understand what you are going through. Remember they.love you for who you are.

  • This is so true! As gaby said I also find it rude when you say no thanks and people still pressure you, especially when they follow up with the guilt trip - Oh I got those for you coz I know you like them. Yes, I do, but that's why I am now fat!

    I have come to the same conclusion as jax, I haven't really told anyone I'm trying to lose weight, obviously my OH knows as we live together, but if anyone notices I'm eating differently I just brush it off and tell them I'm just eating more healthily or I'm not too hungry today. Avoids the conversations that end in fountains of unnecessary advice. I find I'm getting much more support from people on here who actually understand and that is enough for me!

    At the end of the day, you're doing this for yourself and your health so that is all that matters really! Stick with it, it will get easier and you'll find ways of dealing with those situations. Best of luck! 🌸

  • Hello,

    I too have been though similar situations with friends and family. Once I accepted they are coming from a good place while being totally unhelpful I was able to move forward.

    This is a time when we are struggling to change who we are in our head but those around us have the same difficulties. By working on our self esteem and being sure of who we are we can be patient while the views of those around us catch up to our changed outlook.

    Being assertive in my choices and having someone supportive to talk to are essential for me.

    Good luck on this journey :)

  • Oh this is such a problem. I started my diet almost 2 weeks ago, bad planning on my part because it was just before Easter. My husband suddenly started eating sweets and chocolate while sitting in front of the TV, while we were shopping he was putting loads of goodies (that I couldn't eat) into the trolley, he even bought me an Easter Egg! Well after sharing my problem with the fab people on this site and taking on board all their very good advice, I sat my husband down and discussed this with him and it turns out he was feeling 'left out'. Seems he saw me planning my meals and busy reading the posts on this forum and felt ignored and pushed out...poor lamb! so compromise on both sides quickly sorted that out. Maybe sit your family down, explain to them why this is so important to you, why you want to lose weight and ask for their help. Explain to them how they can help and involve them in your plans maybe even ask them for advice? Good Luck and hope it works out well for you.

  • Thank you so much for all the encouragement. I've not buckled under the pressure and I don't intend too. It's great to have so much backup.

  • Good for you. And I cant add anything to the above, just my puzzlement why families react this way. Some, like jenever's hubby are explained, but by no means all :)

  • This is strange. Only because everyone I've told has been supportive to me. I've got my mother into healthy eating as well.

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