good morning

[SueTufty]

Hiya, I'm seeking advice for a combination problem,

I have PTSD, severe depression and anxiety, but I'm doing ok, setting myself daily challenges both big and small and mainly achieving..woo me!!

what I'm struggling with is trying to get back to a healthy weight..

I do not want to be attractive

I have over come being able to leave the house, having my hair cut, walking alone, wearing make up etc I can do all these things now but the weight is ..... my biggest hurdle..should I could give in and say this is just how it is? or try to achieve this for health reasons, and also because I don't want the rapist and abusers to win, I want to be happy with myself..achievable or am I just being unrealistic?

thanks for any advice

[Anna999]

Hi sue, Welcome to the forum, you have come to the right place, everyone on here is lovely and supportive and has lots of weight loss advice to share,i wouldn't be without them.

I'm sorry to hear you have been suffering with your mental health and have experienced such trauma in your life, but it sounds like you are tackling your problems and you seem to have a positive attitude which is winning!

The reasons for losing weight are different for everyone but personally, I don't feel attractiveness is my main priority, it's about both the health benefits and loving yourself. Making yourself healthier by means of eating healthily and exercising more is one of the best ways to take care of yourself and put yourself and your health first.

Your motivation to be happy with yourself speaks volumes, you deserve happiness and it is not unrealistic to aim for that!

As for where to start, the NHS weight loss materials are excellent so take a look at them! Also try downloading a calorie counting app such as my fitness pal to keep track of what you're eating.

I'm on week 3of the plan and am finding it great, it's simple, easy to stick to and I don't get hungry as I eat enough nutritious food. Plus it's working! One of my big problems was comfort eating but I've found using this forum has helped me loads, I log on and read other people's successes and ask questions as well as weighing in each week to keep myself motivated and on track.

Sorry for the long message... I hope you succeed in whatever you decide to do and I'm looking forward to hearing how you get on 🌸

[SueTufty in reply to Anna999]

Thanks for taking the time to reply Anne, I'm going to try to be more active..having PTSD means I know I must set realistic goals if I put too much on myself failure will push me further back so no weighing this week bring on the activity .....I'm starting to follow the couch to 5k but in speed walking (small steps you see) so if you see a blur..thats not me I'm wandering along behind!!

[Anna999 in reply to SueTufty]

Haha! That sounds like a great start! Anything that gets you moving will be really beneficial! I'm using c25k on my static bike at home as I have recently had knee surgery, so it is pretty adaptable!

Realiatic goals are definitely the way forward! Some of mine are day by day and others are for the week, having little successes keeps the motivation going! And eventually we will get to the big ones and maintain them out of habit! 🌺

[HRHGaby]

I understand you, I have been there. I didn't want men to look at me so I ate to be unattractive. You know what? They don't care because rapists are rapists. I've overcome it because I know it was never my problem, I never did anything wrong, I didn't ask for it. They have a problem, not me. I'm putting myself first, and I love myself. It's a process but you'll get there! Good luck!

[SueTufty in reply to HRHGaby]

Hugs..thanks Gaby.. great advice..xx

[fibronfedup]

Welcome to the group, really helpful supportive people on here. You arent being unrealistic at all you want to improve your health for you, which is great, you have already come so far and over come so much. Im sorry to hear you've had such a difficult past, but good to see you are doing so well improving yourself, coming on this forum shows you are wanting to put yourself first, and you deserve to so much. Dont get healthy to please anyone else, do it to please yourself as that is the most important thing. I wish you all the very best and hope you find the support and motivation here that i have. Depression is a horrible thing but using this forum to share my ups and downs has helped so much

[SueTufty in reply to fibronfedup]

great advice..I'm getting healthy.. that is my goal...achievable!.xx

[alex7ra]

I am so sorry to hear what you have been through Sue. I think you should be immensely proud of what you have achieved so far.

I have suffered with mild depression in the past and one of the things that gets me through it is exercise, particularly if I can do it in the fresh air. Perhaps you could start your weight loss journey by slowing becoming more active. Even if it's just doing a bit in front of the TV. It should help your depression and encourage you to adopt healthy eating too. I also find that having a challenge to focus on such as losing weight is something great to focus your mind and energy on and when you see results, even better! We will all be here to support you. Best of luck x

[SueTufty in reply to alex7ra]

Thanks Alex, I'm gonna do the couch to 5 k in speed walking, the advice today has already got me thinking (dangerous I know) of changing my mind set to being healthy the slim will come with time hugs.xx

[alex7ra in reply to SueTufty]

That's a great idea. I think you are absolutely right to focus on being healthy first and foremost. Good luck.

[SueTufty]

thanks peeps..

Day one... two walks, no cakes, no biscuits, knackered dog, big smile!!

[Hidden]

Hi Sorry I missed your post earlier but you have had some great advice so far which I hope is making you feel that you're among friends albeit virtual ones It sounds as tho you've had a really good day and a great start to your fitness and weight-loss journey - well done! Keep coming here, keep talking and just take it a day and a step at a time. Every step forward is taking you to where you want to be x

[KatieBrideToBe]

Hi SueTufty,

I can honestly echo what the others have said. It sounds like you have had extreme trauma in your life but that you are now taking positive steps to focus on YOU. You deserve to be happy and I think you will gain a huge amount of confidence and pride from becoming more healthy. I wish you all the best with your journey, and just keep logging on here. Baby steps are the way forward and logging on here every day to keep in touch with everyone on the same healthy journey will help in the those moments when you think you should give up. Don't give up!

[eeek1110]

So glad you found us SueTufty. You already know people are here for support, advice and motivation. We are all here for on another and are on the journey to health together. I feel they are all genuine people who do really care. Keep in touch! xx

[SueTufty]

Awww you people are so sweet.. thank you..hugs

[SueTufty]

Day two

The day was spent cutting grass yes I know not hugely energetic until I say this was the first cut of the year .....less cutting grass more deforestation and feeling good which is the aim of the day. Am I doing this site right? Do we just pop in read others post get motivated ,reply ect or is there something else I should be doing too?

[eeek1110 in reply to SueTufty]

Hi Sue! You can put a post on when you want to. It's in the right hand corner "Write post". Gardening burns off 5 calories a minute so mowing the overgrown lawn probably burnt twice that much off. You'll see the results next week. I don't go for my daily walk when I've been gardening as it's not unusual for me to spend all day grubbing around. Keep up the good work!

[Hidden]

Hey I truly do not know how to heal or help you, but i can say all you have achieved so far is a big massive credit to your strength. The people who hurt us are so much weaker than we are. In some ways to be stronger we have to pity them. I hope this does not offend anyone.

M