Today it was like the best day but the worst in the same time .. so my boyfriend had prepared this special day just for us and i actually was really excited and had fun. In the morning we went out for coffee and well he smokes but also it is supportive of me , but my stupid self that can not spent another day without smoking started to smoke again, anyway we went in this really great Chinese restaurant for lunch and we had like so many great foods and i eat and eat and eat and we enjoyed a really great bottle of wine and then some great dessert. after that we went in this other bar and again drank some cocktails and after tat for dinner we were in this really great piano bar and drank wine and eat some antipasti. i really had fun today but right now that i'm at home i just have this crazy headache and i just want to cry and cry cause i didn't keep my promise to me i smoked and drank and overeat and i fill physically and mentally so bad like i want to throw up. You no i am really scared not for this day but what is going to be next cause the temptations are so big like all my friends smoke and for me that i have been smoking regularly for 4 years is really difficult to quit but i really want it and i am with my friends everyday most of the time and just being in their environment its very difficult or like when everyone is drinking and we are out to have fun like most of the time we always eat junk food or over drink alcohol is really a huge problem. i'm just so emotional right now and i just don't know how to solve all of this cause you know i don't want to smoke and as long as i was alone at home i managed not to smoke but in the minute that i was with my friends it was just so difficult. The real problem is the environment and my social life and i really don't know how to deal with it. i really need a great support right now , please you guys if anyone of you just give me some advice. i really don't wanna do this but at the same time i really don't want to stay apart from my boyfriend and my friends.