Hi, I'm a new member and i'm in some serious need for motivation. Sorry this may be a long post but i feel like i need to explain everything so you can see where i'm coming from.
So. . I'm 28 I've always been big even seeing some pics of me when i was younger I've been overweight.
When i was 18/19 I caught a common cold, but for me it was just a cold; it was the beginning of a very long period of heart problems. Long story short, I've had minor heart attacks and 3 operations. Obviously they told me i needed to loose weight, and believe me I've tried. I've been on the weight watcher diet so many times i could run it myself, I've tried slimming world, I've tried tablets. But when it comes down to it i really think i'm just lazy or making excuses.
The most i lost was back in April this year i lost nearly 2 stone, but as per usual its all come back. It's so hard to explain to people where i'm coming from because yes my life is at stake with my heart problems and i am borderline for becoming diabetic but why doesn't this scare me enough? When i got told that i was borderline about a month ago, again i joined a gym, but yet here i am doing nothing. It's like i would rather sit and cry about it, i get upset and eat instead of going to the gym. I cant snap out of it either. I know it sounds like i cant be bothered and that i am lazy, and i don't want to make excuses but i work full time and im at uni full time. When i do have some spare time im so worn out with work i just want to relax.
I've been to the gym twice since i signed up, i do need to go i know i do but i hate that look i get from people when i walk in. They look at me as if to say "what are you doing here" so again i come home and just eat, i get down about the looks i get from people. Although i am trying swimming lately I've not been in a pool since i was 13, again this was due to the same kinds of issues. But i much prefer swimming to the gym; but there is a downside. I'm currently a size 24/26 and i feel like i can only go swimming when somebody is with me, i dread to think what i would be like if i ever went alone.
I don't know what is wrong with me, i don't know why these sorts of things like becoming diabetic scares me enough to loose weight. I go down the other route and eat when i think about it.
I've signed up to volunteer in south africa next june and i have a pic of it as my motivation, but again i put myself down and think what's the point im never going to get there, im never going to loose this weight, im going to be the fatty. . . . I cant snap out of this circle. Im sick of feeling like crap, im sick of crying and being depressed about it.
Please can somebody tell me something i don't know, or any tips they have for me for motivation. And i understand you may want to judge me and tell me that i am totally lazy, but if that is going to be your reply, don't bother. I get enough of that from the people around me.