I'm 21 and I'm OBESE, severely actually. I have 3 children (no mistakes to me but down to either no contraception or failed) i exercise quite a lot I do at least 4-5 or more miles walking a day. I do eat healthy but I snack. I have tried diets, exercise.. Nothing seems to be shifting it. I an getting really depressed.. I cry, I can't even look in the mirror. I want to loose weight without sag!!! I need help!!! What can I do? I'm come to the end of my tether.. I am contemplating surgery tbh. Help me please :'(

11 Replies

  • Hi, I can understand your desperation and I feel for you! I've cried because I just couldn't control my eating. Try channeling your emotions into research about what might help you to get your weight under control and making yourself a plan of action. Have a really good look at what you are eating. You say "healthy". You may be eating what we have all been told is "healthy" or what food manufacturers have convinced us is healthy but those things may actually not be as healthy as you think.

    What about trying to avoid processed food and eat real food- meat, eggs, vegetables, full fat no added sugar dairy products and cheese (not too much fruit as it contains a lot of sugar). Have a look here to see if it might suit you? dietdoctor.com/how-to-lose-...

  • Thank you x

  • Morning Helenlb,

    befor the dangerous route of surgery perhaps you should explore 'mindfulness cognitive behaviour therapy' or MBCT for short, but make sure you go to someone who is recommended by the uk's National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence.

    You can read up on it online and there are excellent books.

    It tackles your thought process which then influences your actions.

    Its quite complex so I won't go into detail here.

    It tries to make us more aware of 'now' and what we are thinking, as thought generates feeling and feeling generates actions.

    An example:

    I forgot to pay the council tax this month, so a bright red letter arrived. On seeing the red letter my heart started to race, I felt panicky.

    Thoughts - I am worthless human being, what else have I forgotten, who would want me, I'm ugly, fat etc etc..

    Feelings - sick to my stomach, ache, tired, weight of the world is on me, want to look out the world etc..

    Action - I need cheering up, nice cup of tea and a biscuit, the heck with that, only an entire cake can change how I feel.

    But none of this is real, its just going on in my head.

    Now I'm not saying that this is you, it's just a thought process example.

    MBCT makes you more 'aware' of what you are doing, your feelings and the thoughts that drive them. Its not ' think more positively'.

    You sound like you are heading down the depression route which isn't healthy. Try talking to your GP tell them how you feel and I mean tell them EVERYTHING. Ask about MBCT and if they think it would help.

    On a more cheerful note, we all get terrible days. We have all jumped on the scales and 'would you pen and ink it!' we have put on weight when we have stuck to our healthy eating. That sometimes just happens, water retention, your bowels are full, the dog is standing on the scales behind you :0

    I also have never managed a 'diet' so I am cooking the sort of meals we like but making healthier/lower calorie versions and PORTION control. I have always cooked from scratch and believe that there are hidden fat and sugar and bulking agents in many processed/canned/jars/frozen food.

    I have noticed in diet recipes that they often are the same as or higher calories than normal recipes but they have changed the number of servings from four to five or more usually six!

    Try keeping a food diary. You could post it for a few days. People are kind. They will try to give helpful suggestions or alternatives to some of your choices or suggest recipes that you and your children could enjoy.

    It sounds silly but I hadn't considered that I had a sweet tooth until someone pointed it out. But the evidence was staring me in the face.

    Keep posting and good luck.

  • Thank you :) x

  • Don't give up there is lots of positive support on here. It is great that you are getting out walking, well done. Keep going with the walking and perhaps try increasing the speed and distance slowly. You could also try the my fitness pal app. You can log all you food so you will be able to see exactly what you are eating, I find it really useful.

  • Thank you x

  • Hey Helen, you're doing a lot of the right things by walking 4-5 miles and day and eating healthy foods. If you're doing those things consistently and not losing weight, then there are two potential reasons 1) there is a medical issue or 2) your energy in (what you eat and drink) and your energy out (what you burn through living and physical activity) balance each other out. My reply will focus on the latter as I am not a medical doctor. I have, however, lost a significant amount of weight (100+ pounds) and kept it off for 6 years and counting. For 8 years I tried and failed to lose weight because I didn't understand that weight loss is largely a numbers game. If you want to lose weight, your energy out has to be bigger than your energy in. That means you have to burn more calories than you eat. If that is not the case, no matter how much you work out or how well you eat, you will NOT lose weight! So, I'd recommend downloading an app like My Fitness Pal, putting in your info and it will give you a recommendation as to how many calories you should eat per day. Then you need to track EVERYTHING you eat daily to see how close you are coming to that number. If you hit that number every day for 30 days and don't lose weight, make an appointment with your doctor. If you have trouble sticking to that number, you know that it will take you making changes in what you eat to reach your goal. I hope that helps! Let me know if you have any further questions. I know it's frustrating and depressing - I've been there - but you can make it out. I am living proof, it IS possible.

    My before pics: 265point.getyourbestbodybac...

  • Thank you, and great work:) I want to loose 4-7 stone tbh x I can stick To it for a while then I don't. Sucks.

  • Hi, just read your post and honestly was quite surprised... When you say you are obese, what weight are you exactly and how tall are you? Given that you do walk for like 4-5 miles a day, you do quite a lot of exercise and hence can eat quite a lot too. Can you explain what you mean with eating healthily? There are common mistakes when it comes to healthy eating, eg. vegetarian food, especially processed stuff from supermarkets is generally quite high in fats and carbs...

  • It is true that just 'being vegetarian' does not by definition mean you are a healthy eater and home made nut roast is fearsomely calorie dense as is cheese but it doesn't seem a good idea to imply that vegetarian food makes it harder to lose weight.

  • I'm 16 stone and 5ft7 :( x I eat fruit, veg, brown rice, cous cous, the bad things are crisps. I have a load of deficiencies. Iron, vit d, vit b12, folic and protein. So I don't have energy either :(

You may also like...