height-5 ft 5

weight-19 stone

so since i was 9 i have put on nearly 12 stone, including more than half in the last 4 years. when i was 11 i was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. i am desperate to loose weight as my dad has heart and lung problems and diabetes because of his weight and we just found out my 16 year old sister who is 2 stone heavier than me has diebetes but there is a diffrent she put it one steadly, where as i in bigger clumps. i have had problem with my eating all my life and i just need someone i can speak to who can help me go through this.


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32 Replies

  • Hi there, I just want to say good on you for coming on this site, it is the beginning and I am sure some lovely people on here will be able to guide you. Depression is terrible and no doubt you comfort eat as many of us do. i wish you well and keep us informed. ps I have taken to making homemade chicken vege soup and have that when I feel hungry!

  • Hi Melaine. Is your GP giving you specialist advice to help you and can you GP refer you to a special dietician to help you as you will need a lot of specialist help to lose the weight and get healthy in a safe way.

  • Hi Melaine, I think finding out why you are depressed must be the start. Did you have difficulties to cope with when you were very young which were overwhelming and food was your only comfort? I can relate to that from my youth. Food is a short term fix of course, I still had to face up to the weight later.

    Give yourself a hug and try to focus on the positives in your life and the people who you love and love you. I think a chat with a sympathetic GP and joining a slimming group ( with your sister) might help if possible. Plan some enjoyable excercise, swimming or just walking. Anything that will get you out of the house and lift your mood.Have small goals.

    Best wishes - you can do it! :)

  • i was very skinny till i was 9. i didnt eat meat till i was 13 and have never eaten fish. at 9 i was bullied because i was diagnosed with anarexio bolomia amd then diagnosed with depression when my farther left my mom. then over 3 years i went from underweigtht to overweight. then was bullied cause i was big.then in 2007 my mom had my brother with my "step dad".i hated him because when i was 12 he made my mum put my brother in care.then my sister left to live with my dad. then in 2008 they had another child and mum got postnatel depression and my stepdad worked alot and i was left to look after 2 children from the age of 11 and half.which continued, then in my mum and step dad got married and she lossed a baby which gave her depression in 2011. then that christmas my grandad was diagnosed with cancer in the pancreas and was given 2 years,but 2 months later on my birthday her was given 1-4 months to leave.he got sicker and sicker and in june 2012 he died. my mum got depressed and locked herself away so i was often late to school and got in trouble alot as i had to look after the 2 boys. and i also couldnt grieve for him as we were close.then in october 2012 my mum had a little girl but was so depressed at 15 i had to look after a newborn baby who got very sick and 2 boys. then my dad became sick and was tooken into hospital so i took time out of school yr 10 and 11 to look after him aswell,we had to move round the corner from him. then last year my moved with my 2 sisters and 2 brothers and me and dad moved the oppisite way and since then i have been a full-time carrer for my dad and then my 16 year old sister moved in last month and now im her full time carrer and have not seen my mum and brothers in 6 months.and then last week i lost someone close to me

  • Hello Melanie

    I too gained a lot of weight when I was a child and a teenager. It was horrible and at one time blighted my life. I made an effort to lose weight when I got married, and I did get very slim for several years. It is really hard to shift weight gained when you are young, so the sooner you start the better. You can do it and keep it off. I did for a lot of years, but I'm getting old and a bit disabled now so some of it has piled back on again.

    The secret of successful dieting is to eat less and move more! You can do it! I realise that it will be hard and take a lot of strength of character, but you need to do this.

    It is really really important that you take control of what you eat. If you still live at home you have to insist on preparing your own meals. You should follow a diet plan which allows you to do this. ANY proper diet plan will help you do this. Get rid of all the snacks and extras, have smaller portions and reduce the amount of carbohydrates in your diet. It will take willpower, or to be more precise, WON'T power! I won't eat snacks, I won't break my diet!

    The second most important thing is to move more. This means climbing the stairs more often, for example if you have to take a pair of shoes upstairs, carry them up one at a time! it's not daft! it increases your activity. It means walking to the next bus stop, it means going out for a walk after your meal rather than settling down on the sofa with a cup of tea. Even 20 minutes EXTRA exercise will help. If you drive, DON'T drive less than a half mile, walk, or get a bike and cycle. Put the radio on and dance to the music! The more extra exercise you do, the faster you will lose weight.

    Good luck, prepare yourself, enlist the help of your doctor, she or he can put you in touch with a dietician, and support groups. Let us know how you get on.

  • Hi melanie,

    You've done the first big step by coming on here!

    I would suggest that you visit your GP, they might be able to refer you for a counciller if you think talking to someone professional might help with the depression side of things. They might also be able to refer you to something like weight watchers and/or the gym. They could probably also do a health check such as taking your blood pressure and sending you for a blood test to check your sugar levels as well things like cholesterol and iron levels.

    I'm the same height as you and weigh around 14.5st, which if I go by BMI makes me 5 stone overweight. I used to have loads of coke but I have pretty much completely cut that out now, I only have some once in a while when I want it really bad, but will only get a can or a 500ml bottle instead of a 2litre bottle like i used to. I also don't have as many snacks anymore now. And I've started the NHS Couch to 5k plan (also known as C25k), I'm on week 3 at the moment. If you haven't already, check it out. They also have a forum on here. I haven't really lost any weight yet but am definitely already getting fitter, when i started C25k I could barely run for the first 30 seconds and on Friday done two 3 minute runs!

    I'm 22 so not too big of an age gap between us, if you ever just want to have a chat feel free to inbox me :)

    I can do the excercise side of things but food is still a big weakness!

  • I would suggest you join a slimming world group near you, they are so friendly and supportive, it's a social hour and a half where you can meet new friends, the healthy eating plan is simple to follow and the rewards great good luck!

  • I don't agree with slimming world or weight watchers the way they do about weight loss is not a good way. Old fashioned healthy eating and exercise is the key no cal counting or point scheme shit. Not know any one to loss weight to maintain it from weight watchers or slimming world.

  • You've obviously never done either successfully! My friend is maintaining a 10 stone weight loss very well without counting anything just using suggested lists of healthy food and support from her group!

  • I lost weight 6 years ago and have maintained the weight I lost ever since with help from a weight management programme that did good old fashioned healthy eating mixed with exercise. I just don't agree with the way weight watchers and such like go about their stuff and would never join one and still yet toknow some one that has kept weight off long term with things like weight watchers. I have never joined stuff like weight watchers or slimming world just don't agree with how they go about stuff things. I lost weight the proper way and never had to count cals, write down what I eat or do a stupid point scheme. I dropped four dress sizes which I have maintained.

  • Well done and long may you continue to maintain which is something I can't do! It has nothing to do with any of the programmes it's because I go back to poor eating habits (story of my life)

  • I am sure you will sort yourself out one day and good luck to you. I am sure you can loss weight and maintain it .you need to find what works for you. Some people say eating small portions others its incressing exercise doing more of it others its cutting out certain foods etc. What ever it is you will find what helps you maintain weight when you get there. Again good luck to you and all the best.

    I was a big eater all my life and still am a big eater only difference is the exercise and plenty off it is the only thing that helps me maintain the weight I lost. I can't do small portions or cut my sizes tried loads of time failed as like food too much. Plenty of exercise keeps my weight maintained. I was 29 and my Mum died of Cancer that was what made me decide I need to loss weight and sort my life out. I was so lazy in my 20's never did anything or went any where was such a lazy fat person wasted all my 20s but I tell you now I am 35 and since I lost weight Its changed my life and I don't waste a single day now.

  • My stepdaughter lost a huge amount of weight using Slimming World. About half her body weight, in fact. For those who advocate lots of exercise, she did no exercise at all while losing, unless you count riding her big motorbike as exercise. She does exercise now she's lost it, boxercise, things like that.

  • Yes there's a few in my group that don't excersise and they are doing ok too

  • Hi Melanie,

    You've made a good first step, there is lots of support and advice on here, and if you just need a whinge, there's people on here that will listen and not judge you as we've all been there. I had a difficult childhood and food was used a distraction instead of dealing with the issues, needless to say once I got out of that house there was a lot of comfort eating. I'm 29, 5'2" and 17 stone, it has taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I really don't want to be this overweight and that contributes to my negative feelings.

    There are lots of approaches to losing weight and you need to find one that works for you, just because it works for someone else doesn't mean it will work for you. Your financial situation will also play a big part in what approach you take, I can't afford to do WW or SW (some doctors will pay for a limited number of sessions though) or to join a gym. So I use freebies, a slimming group will teach you about monitoring what you eat and how healthy the different food types are, you can use My Fitness Pal for free which basically does the same thing but without the social aspect, at the start you enter some info and it gives you a recommended daily calorie intake and you stick to that, it also tells you how much protein, carbs and sugar are in each food. You can also log exercise and 'earn' extra calories.

    You also need to find exercise that you enjoy, I like going for a walk, it's low impact and I quite like exploring, I started off just doing 1 mile, now I can do 6 comfortably. You can use Google maps to work out how far you've walked or download Map My Walk which is another free app. I also have an aerobic step which I do 15 minutes of every evening when I'm watching TV.

    Perhaps the most important piece of advice I could give is don't expect the weight to come off quickly, it won't, it has taken me 3 months to lose 17lbs, which I'm happy with as it's a lifestyle change rather than a diet and there's been a lot to learn along the way. Some weeks I don't lose anything despite having stuck to my calorie goal and exercising but I am happier, I have some energy now, it now feels weird to sit on the settee watching the TV all day at weekends like I used to. It was hard at first, some days were really hard, but persevere you will get there.

    If you want to chat please just send me a message.


  • Well done. I agree with all the other comments. The big plus that you have on your side is that it's much easier to lose weight at your age than if you wait until, say, your Dad's age.

    Your age-group has a terrible 'snacking' habit i.e. eating constantly, little bits, often sweet stuff which is no good for you. Try eating proper meals with nothing in between. Try eating a meal at a table and not on front of the TV on a sofa. Eat slowly, chew properly, take time to taste your food.

    You've made a good start. Best wishes for the future.

  • I disagree your body needs stuff in between meal to give it energy and what it needs. You need to eat plenty of fruit and other stuff three meals a day is not enough. When going on a diet you need to eat three smaller sized meals and snacks of fruit in between mixed with exercise to loss weight.

  • I'd like some evidence for your statement that 'three meals a day is not enough'. My point was that the modern teenage habit of snacking includes a lot of unhealthy and highly-processed items available from the local corner shop. 'Plenty of fruit' I am not too sure about either. Yes, eating an apple is preferable to eating a chocolate bar or bag of crisps, but what constitutes 'plenty' of fruit?

  • If you eat regularly and mix it with plenty of exercise you speed up your matablisiom therefore you can burn more cals to maintain weight its a doctor that told me that. Your body doesn't get enough from three meals you need fruit and other stuff in between to give your body what it needs and gives you energy etc. It does work as I dropped four dress sizes 6 years and still the size I lost weight to.

  • Ah well, 'plenty of exercise' may be the problem. Not all of us can do that.

  • Well plenty of exercise mixed with eating regularly speeds up your matabalisiom therefore you can maintain weight. Yes I know some people have trouble with exercise but exercise is important and its the key to maintaining weight and burning cals sadly. Not every one can do exercise or can do plenty but eating very little and not much exercise doesn't help towards maintaining weight sadly. You need enough cals intake mixed with exercise to keep weight off. If you can't exercise then you will find it even harder to loss or maintain weight.

  • Another thing to not exercise at all is very bad indeed exercise doesn't just help you burn cals / Maintain weight it helps towards fighting illness and gets you toned and fit look. It also changes your mood.

  • My dad is 67 and only a weist 30 for a man and 9 and a half stone and not ill in anyway. He used to be a 32 weist but has lost weight and gone back to what he used to. As your older it gets harder to loss weight but its not un possible my Dad did it and has maintained the weight ever since. He is not a fat 67 like most he goes swimming 4-5 times a week and goes walking all over with his dog.

  • I have had mild depression in my teens, at those ages it is mostly abt self confidence and social acceptance issues or family issues reflect negatively onto you. If friends and family are not supportive enough does not help. My mother found a very good psychologist, he attacked right at my fears, talked to my family , as one of the reasons was the problem between my parents. I am not sure how good a GP would be, find a good psychologist who is expert in teenage problems, and you would need to attend session with him/ her for some time. You have to see psychologist, otherwise these issues you carry into your adulthood. You eat probably because you are depressed , find things you enjoy like music , dancing , they help. And dont overthink, you are too young too overthink.

  • I can agree with so much here, financially I cant do a slimming club right now although they do give you good support and WW especially gives you a good idea of sensible portion size. Today our portion sizes are outrageous it seems that we survived on much less in the years running up to ad during the war, we were all so much more active, just think about all the devices we use today to keep our house, clothes, gardens clean and tidy! More walking as there were less cars and public transport. Its obviously not a practical move to go back to that but I'm resigned to the fact that I need smaller portion sizes and that despite pain I have to walk more, I weigh in tomorrow so will see if I have a loss this week!

  • Your local doctors might do a weight management programme if your bmi is 25 or over and it costs nothing. You get help on what to eat and what not to ear and about exercise you should be doing. They also weigh you every so often to make sure your losing weight etc . You can get help with out paying a stupid fee or joining a group like weight watchers. Don't agree with the way weight watchers ect work

  • Hallo Melaine,

    the pressure to loose weight is the problem. I had it myself and tried every diet. I find myself a tea and coffee. As you now coffee and tea you drink it evevry day. Drink it without Sugar and milk, aspecially the tea and you will loose weight. No diet, just coffee and tea.

  • You might try using the website My Fitness Pal as it may help open your eyes about what you eat and how much of other things you could eat whilst not taking in so many calories. I have found it the most useful slimming aid of all.

  • so in 4 days i have been sleeping for 8am till between 3pm-6pm and having a sandwhich when i wake up and then dinner between 8-10pm at night. the thing is i am loosing the weight. in that time i lost nearly a stone. so i tried to turning of everything and sleeping at night and having 2 meals a day and im sleeping between 6 and 11 hours and again in 5 days i lost a further 13 pounds so in less than a week i lost 25 pounds which is alot so i went to the doctor to day and he sad because i was only sleep between 2 and 6 hours a night and eating well over 3000 calories he is happy for that and he says that is expected. in this time i have recorded my food and activety on my fitness pall and i have only been consuming between 1200-1500. does anyone else think i should go and see and diffrent doctor or a dietician

  • Sleeping in the day can't be good for you. You need to be able to get out for a walk in the day time, else you might start feeling low.

  • Keep your carbohydrate intake between 10 and 14 portions per day (1 portion = 10g carbohydrate), ideally 3 meals x 4 carb portions. Follow this link

    Eat low GI carbs, reducing intake of fructose too which glycosylates haemoglobin seven times as much as glucose. Follow this link

    Make up the balance of your meals with natural, additive-free, unprocessed protein and fat foods such as meat, poultry, fish, seafood, eggs, cheese, coconut oil, palm oil (not hydrogenated), olive oil, and butter.

    This will improve your health and help avoid getting type 2 diabetes.

  • Hi Melanie!

    My name is Phoebe. I am also 17/F/UK and I am around 14st 10 now but my heaviest was closer to 16 stone. I am in exactly the same position as you, I have battled with this all my life and I also need someone to talk to about it! I'll send you a message and maybe we can support each other? Also thanks to everyone else that has been commenting with their own tips and experiences. They really do help. Hopefully speak soon :)

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