Weight Loss Advice Needed


I'm new here and was hoping someone could give me some advice.

I suffer with depression, severe anxiety, agoraphobia, noise anxiety, IBS, lower back pain (back pain since the age of 12), gout among other things, now my mental health has had a knock on affect and I've gained a lot of weight, obviously with me having agoraphobia I cannot get out as much as I'd like and with the lower back problems I cannot walk as far as I want. However I'm going to try and attend the gym at least once a week with my son.

I don't over eat as my stomach won't let me, in fact I've been told I don't eat enough by a dietitian, I find it hard to eat at times because of the IBS which is playing up a lot due to horrible noisy neighbours.

Does anyone have any advice for me so I can start losing the weight and get better physically? I just feel very fat, ill and frumpy. I only got this bad when my Dad passed away five years ago, I was doing well and losing weight before.

Thanks in advance


7 Replies

  • I have IBS and last year I cut out all junk and it has helped my IBS big time. I was having bad attacks and bad IBS before now my IBS is under control and I still get attacks but my IBS is not like it used to be. I found cutting out junk was the key for me and eating healthy has helped. Exercise is also the key and lots of it. I have also had depression about two - three years back but as I have always been a big eater and still a big eater even now after 6 years since I lost weight to size 8. I eat even more than I do when I had the depression I could not stop eating. Some people don't eat with depression and others eat more than normal over eat.

    I would cut down on junk limit it or even cut it out all together and eat healthy that would help with your IBS. Exercise is the key in weight loss and to help with IBS as well. Exercise for the right amount not just when you feel like it but the right amount and right number of days a week. You should never skip meals and should never not eat. You should eat small amounts every two -three hours having small amounts mixed with right amount of exercise to loss weight and carry it on after to maintain weight. Writing shopping lists and going by it works stops you getting stuff you shoulden't. Having breakfast sets you up for the day and helps you to not snack on rubbish other than maybe a piece of fruit or something else healthy 2-3 hours after breakfast. Don't eat after 8pm.

    Best thing I ever did losing weight and seeing a fat person is still enough motivation six years on to carry on eating healthy and maintain the size 8 I lost weight to. I exercise 6 days a week with one day off to rest and I am now so used to doing the exercise I fit it into my day and just get with it like its something I have always done and never lack motivation I just get on with it.

  • Hi kerriejoe,

    Sorry but you know weight gain and weight loss doesn't happen in isolation to how your body functions, so really rather than giving you and generalised advice - which you can easily get from the NHS live well lose weight web pages anyhow, my suggestion is to talk about the problem you have with your weight to you GP and discuss it in a "joined-up-thinking" way with the other underlying conditions you have.

    If you are going to successfully lose weight, you need to know how your underlying conditions (and any associated medications / treatment regimes) may impact upon you weight loss efforts and also how taking steps to lose weight may impact upon your underlying conditions (and any associated medications / treatment regimes).

    You really, in my view, need to not separate the issues.

  • Hello,

    thank you for taking the time to reply, however I think one of you has the wrong idea about weight even though you were overweight yourself at one point.

    @lisa11 I already know why my IBS is constant and it's not due to eating junk food sorry to say, I very rarely eat junk food nor do I over eat, as I already said my stomach won't allow me to over eat, in fact, some days it won't allow me to eat much at all. I already explained about my mental health, agoraphobia means you find it hard going out, some people pretty much don't go out at all and have been stuck in their homes for years. So exercising is not as easy as some may think, now I've asked the Adult Rehab team for help, but they are useless, they were meant to be giving me exercises in the home, but nope, nothing, not even a number to contact them on.

    I was seeing a dietitian, they put the IBS issue down to fiber and stress which is being caused by my neighbours purposely being idiots and making noise because I had complained about OTT parties, they live above and would keep us awake until 4 am. We also discussed my weight, it isn't because I eat junk or eat too much, it's simply because I don't eat enough. Yes I have complained, it's in the hands of noise pollution now.

    My mental health isn't because I'm overweight, my weight is because of my mental health. I suffered years of abuse by various people, when I had my son 20 years ago I got post natal depression, which I never really received any proper help for, then that turned into nice depression, which I have tried medications for, then my Dad passed 5 years ago suddenly, the only man apart from my son not to abuse me, so it hit me very very hard, I was going to slimming world and circuit training at the time and did continue with it for some months after until I fractured my ankle and was dormant, this is when I started to get anxiety, I was then diagnosed with anxiety which is severe enough to become agoraphobia.

    We do a shopping list, like I said, I'm agoraphobic, so my Mum does our shopping for us.

    @Doikosp You can lose weight in isolation, it's getting the right support while your doing it, I've managed to lose some weight before while being like this (don't know how LOL), I do agree my Dr ought to be helping me with this, I've spoken to her before about it and her answer was "Don't worry about your weight at the moment" which sounded ok when she said it but now I'm like, erm ok but my weight is causing other issues to become worse, like my lower back pain! So I've given up talking to her about anything now. I only take meds for Gout, sadly anti depressants didn't work on me, I've also tried CBT and counselling, again didn't work, however! I'm not giving up! I have decided to restart CBT again and have an appointment for the 31st of March, not looking forward to it but I need help with my mental health, I've also referred myself to the YMCA, my son and myself have an induction for the gym on Wednesday (I need my son to come with me to places or my Mum), I'm also going to book myself and my son in to see a nurse and see if she will refer us for slimming world.

    The reason I posted on here asking for help is because I was hoping that someone could point me in the right direction in regards to doing things at home to help my weight issue, so then at least my back ache will become less painful and I'd be able to go for a walk with my son and our dog.

    I am proactive and will try things even if it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, yeah I have to take my Mum or Son but it's better than letting things beat me.

    I do appreciate you both posting and trying to advise me, but remember, not everyone's weight problems are down to the same thing, which is why I explained about the abuse etc. I just remembered, I did actually speak to another Dr about my weight, she went on about gastric bands... no thank you, I would rather lose weight off of my own back, I don't think spending £10000 + of the tax payers money is very fair.

    Thanks again :D I will post another time and hopefully I would have lost some weight via slimming world and the gym :)

  • Slimmers world and weight watchers aren't the only way to loss weight they cost a joining fee I think. I lost weight through a weight management programme at my local doctors that is free for anyone that has a BMI of 25 or over and wants to loss weight. They look at what you eat, tell you about what you should be eating, tell you about exercise and weigh you to make sure your losing weight and give you any tips and advice along the way. It is a good programme gave me really good advice and used a lot of it still to this day. So slimmers world and weight watchers aren't the only way to loss weight. There is probably other

    programmes out there to loss weight as well. I feel you have to look at what is out there and pick the right one for you. Not just go to slimmers world or weight watchers because they may work. You need one that's right for you. I am yet to know anyone that has kept weight off for good through weight watchers or slimmers world and I don't agree with these programme and how they go about weight loss. Points scheme and cal counting isn't a good way to loss weight. I feel you need good old fashioned healthy eating and plenty of exercise and to carry it on after the weight loss too. Exercise is the key to losing weight, maintaining weight and to helping with IBS too.

    Gym isn't the only way to loss weight it again costs money to keep up a gym membership which not everyone can afford to pay. I have never been to a gym and probably never will I don't see it as the end all for losing weight or maintaining weight. Yes its good a gym lots of different equipment to use but its not the only way to loss weight. I lost weight by using a rowing machine and power walking/jogging . So gym is good but isn't not everything and not the only way to loss weight. Again you need to pick the right exercise for you not just one that you feel will work one but the right one for you.

    If you don't eat enough you need to eat more if you know that is what the problem is you need to work to sort it out. I have never been able to understand people that skip meals or don't eat enough its dangerous skipping meals or not eating enough. Your body needs food even if its just small amounts every 2-3 hours to give you energy and keep you going.

    To say I don't know about weight even low I lost weight excuse me I think I do know a lot about weight and was big once myself .I got help to loss weight and the weight I lost I maintained ever since. Not many people who loss weight maintain it for years after or have the will power to carry it on. I think I know a lot about weight how to loss weight and maintain it so excuse me how rude.

  • Hey kerriejoe,

    Good for you wanting and having the determination to loose weight yourself rather than going for surgery. Some see surgery as a 'quick fix' when it really isn't because it doesn't re-train eating habits so really good for you :)

    A lot of people will tell you that slimming world or weight watchers or Atkins or whatever diet you want to follow isn't any good but the honest answer is if slimming world works for you then thats the best way for you to loose weight. It's like the 5:2 diet, I know it works for a lot of people but I know it wouldn't work for me because I know that I can't stick to that low level of calories so I just do my own thing in the knowledge that I will loose weight just slowly. Instead of going to great expense why don't you try to follow SW at home a little first, that way there isn't any pressure for you to actually physically go to a group until you're actually feeling up to it. I think they have a section on their website which non-members can view or you could do what I do and just buy the magazine and follow it out of there :) I was a member ages ago and lost just shy of 3 1/2 stone but then I moved away and put over 2 1/2 stone back on because I didn't go back which I really should have - hindsight is a wonderful thing!

    If you want to do some exercises at home have a quick look at the Biggest Loser website; they have workouts which anyone can view and it's doing things with tins of baked beans, bottles of water etc so you can actually do them in your own home. There are also some videos on youtube with things like yoga and pillates poses which are all free and you should be able to do at home. I was signed off work for a long time a few years ago due to stress, anxiety (panic attacks were terrible) and depression. I stayed in the house for weeks only really going out to go to the supermarket when I had to or go to the doctors surgery and I found that yoga really helped me deal with the anxiety and panic attacks. I also found that as I lost weight my confidence started to increase so I felt more comfortable going outside and doing things and the more I did things the more I realised that nothing was as bad as I built it up in my head to be. I realise that agoraphobia is a lot more severe than anxiety but hopefully as you gain confidence you'll feel more comfortable about going outside a little more every day and that'll open more avenues for exercise for you.

    freddiesaunt is also right that if you can, try and sit out in the sunshine (when it does shine that is! :) ) because it will improve your mood - even if you sit on a chair just inside the door of your house in the sun it'll still help.

    Above all, be kind to yourself. It sounds like you've had a really tough time in the past and the last thing you need is to berate yourself if things don't go quite the way you plan them to.

    Good luck


  • I have had most of what you list. Try and get someone to take you to a yoga class. That's more of stretching and strengthening your muscles and controlled breathing, which will help with some of your conditions, including back problems. I had a support worker, who took me to the gym, but it wasn't very successful. Too many people. Swimming is also good as your weight is supported by the water. Go when your almost the only person there. Your less likely to panic and take a friend.

    I find that when I ate porridge and tried to eat less wheat based products the IBS lessened, but stress doesn't help, I agree. With the agraphobia I found trying to walk at night with someone easier. It's quieter, less noise and people. I started with to the end of the drive and back. No more. If you can build up to even just sitting In a garden (during daylight) a little to start with and then longer , this will also help. The sun on your skin helps boost your vit d level. That's good for SAD suffers like me and probably you if you don't go out much. You need it every day as it's a water soluable vit. A light box may also help.

    It gives you more feel good factor to help your mental state. There is lots more I could tell you about, but I want to leave you with hope. I now go to a small exercise class 5 times a week, with a friend. My back is better as my tummy muscles are stronger and I was told that supports my back better. I can walk the dog for a couple of hours a day, but I go to quiet locations. My IBS, no longer happens every day and with my own grim determination to eat better to feel better, I do the 5:2 way of life, I feel I am able to cope a little better with problems that arise too, well most of the time. I have lost the weight. I do feel better and if I can do it, anyone can. I am 53 soon and was diagnosed at 17. That's a lot of lost years. If you can't do it for yourself, think how your loved ones will feel, if they know your on the way to recovery. One thing more, never start anything without speaking to your doctor first. Doc will know if a new thing is suitable for you. Good luck.

  • Hi Kerriejoe

    I'm sorry to hear that you have been having such difficulties. I hope the CBT will help you. I have always found music to be helpful in times of stress.

    When it comes to IBS it may be that giving up wheat products may help, as Freddie suggested. I have a problem with anything containing gluten. This link has suggestions for changing what you eat. I hope it might be useful to you.


    Good luck Kerriejoe. Well done on deciding to have a go at Slimming world and the gym. My son (now grown up) had a poster in his bedroom saying "Feel the Fear and do it anyway". I've found that quite helpful at times.

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