Self-talk is such an important influence. Being overweight isn't a moral issue, it's a pragmatic issue. Addressing it in the long term does need an understanding of how it happened but most of the attention needs to be forward. Yes, sometimes a bit of a kick up the bum is helpful, compassion for oneself doesn't mean "Oh poor you, it's not your fault you can't exercise, and of course you should have a second piece of cake because you've had a bad day" Sometimes it can be very helpful to think how you would respond to a good friend, it may derail the self flagellation that largely seems to make things worse rather than better.
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