I can't win, well meaning friends & family are driving me crazy !!!

I love my family & friends, they're the thing that keeps me sane most of the time but at the minute they are driving me potty.

I've lost alot of weight i know that 90lb in total since i started this journey and i feel much happier about the way i am now. I'm eating healthily & working out so im fitter than i've ever been before but i'm not quite there yet.

I'm 10lb away from having a healthy BMI for the first time in my adult life and i'm aiming to lose another 19lb ish and then look at where i am and what i want to do from there (maintain/lose a bit more etc). I know im not huge anymore but i'm not exactly tiny either, i'm a uk size 12. So why has everyone suddenly decided i'm going to get too "skinny" and keep telling me "it wont suit me"

I know they mean well but i am still overweight and working hard to be healthy so it really isn't helpful when people keep trying to feed me cake, biscuits and other naughty treats saying one wont hurt and anyway it wont suit you if you lose anymore!!!

Like i said i love all of them to bits & i know they only have my best interests at heart but it's not like i'm starving i have no silly visions of a size 0 me, just a healthy happy me who can smile at what she sees in the mirror!

Sorry for having a rant, has anyone else had this problem?

8 Replies

  • As someone who appears to be 'o.k' in clothes, I really sympathise. I am not telling anyone this time apart from a select few as in the past I have had some very unhelpful reactions. I have a really high body fat percentage (33%) and as it is mainly round my middle that equals more health risks so I feel I need to get rid of it.

    The nation's opinion of what is a healthy weight/body shape seems to have really changed!

    I think the only way to combat this opinion in general is education about what is healthy/unhealthy. Would pointing some of your/family friends in the direction of the NHS resources possibly help?

  • Know exactly how you feel. Just do you're own thing, if you feel you want to lose a bit more weight refuse offers by saying 'not at the moment thanks' or ' not long had my meal' or a confident sounding 'no thankyou' you'll find that they will soon get the message without upsetting anyone or having to explain yourself. Good luck with the last 10lbs.

  • its really boring when this happens - some years ago (10 to be precise) i got down to some magic weight of 9 and half stone - and whispers started of anorexia and lots of hand ringing.

    Really for heaven sakes. It was all very annoying. even more annoying now is people who say i don't need to lose weight and i am over 12 stone.

    so ignore the well intentioned comments - you know your body - my only caution is as I have got older i do need a little bit more fat so i don't look scrawny in the mirror -so i am now aiming for 10 and half stone. Take a picture of yourself and see if you like what you see.....Meantime just bat comments off with a smile- play the being healthy mantra.

  • Hi sinope82,

    It's to some degree because people don't deal with change and, of course, you've got more used to the weight loss notion - because you're the one actually doing it - than they probably have.

    But also, in some way be grateful that they care enough to comment at all.

    Now, if they didn't bother whether you were fat or thin, or healthy or happy, then that would be very sad indeed.

    My other half was away from home for work reasons for the first part of my weight loss journey and she was a bit panicky when she saw a reduced-size me at the airport! But she's got used to the idea now and was praising me loudly, bless her cotton socks, when I got into the 32 in waist jeans a little while back.

    All the best with your weight loss efforts.

  • Wow fantastic weight loss :-) I'm guessing most bods would say that a size 10 or 12 is what they want to be lol I'm surprised that at a size 12 you are still 10 lbs over healthy bmi as usually as you get smaller 10lbs drops a dress size and I'm guessing you'll be a perfect 10 in 10 lbs time and to lose another 19ish would in theory be down to poss a size 6? So if they are calculating like me you can perhaps see why they might worry. But I also know depending on height etc a 12 can look bigger and bmi isn't so kind to shorties like me :-) also remember bmi doesn't take into account muscle from work outs etc as can say fit bods are over bmi! But it is also true that people do panic as you get towards goal also as the lower you go brings up the worry of staying there, but I think you sound v sorted so I'm afraid as previously said to stop be over fed with kindness it's a case of playing health card and reminding them its about being healthy and not just slim :-) good luck and I'm sure many of us at start of weight loss journey wish we had your problem (but bet change minds later) :-)

  • dont listen to them . you doing so well, just explain to them how important to you and to them to have healthy bmi and the benfit will brings to your health. healthy you happy you.

  • I have had this too, and they are just jealous I have decided, well done and keep at it. People always quick to say if they think you look too thin like it is some terrible disease. I just comment that is is better to be leaner that looking a little chunky :)

  • Exactly the same thing happened to me five years ago. lost loads of weight and it was really hard work over a year or so and felt really good. had loads of comments like 'you won't be losing any more will you?' and 'are you sure you're well, you seem to have lost an awful lot of weight?' etc etc. To be honest it was that complete lack of acknowledgement that I'd worked so hard to lose the weight that lost me the incentive to carry on so whatever you do you hang on in there. Tell them your under your GP's care for weight loss and it's their decision that you need to lose more weight. Well done for working so hard to lose that weight.

You may also like...