emotional, upset and frustrated!

heres my time to have a little moan. and sorry to ramble on....

im currently 21 weeks. and sleeping on my brothers sofa. the father of the baby left me when i was admitted to hospital at 8 weeks with hyperemesis. i spent 4 weeks in hospital and my sister in law insisted i stay with her and she looks after me when i was recovering after leaving hospital. which i have done. (might i add not much help though!!)

they are fond of alcohol. and i mean quite a lot. and problems occur when she drinks as shes on anti depressants. so thats one less stress i need.

i have had to put myself on the local housing list as i dont have savings behind me anymore to afford to buy or private rent a property especially with a baby on the way and having been off work on sick pay for nearly 10 weeks.

im not on a bad wage with work and do plan on returning full time after my maternity is over. but the wage i do get goes mainly on outgoings. (loans, and bills i have to pay)

so it leaves me with hardly anything a week.

i know i will not be entitled to housing benefits or the bond scheme as i earn £18 more than the bracket, and im willing to pay for rent on a council property.

I had a phone call today of the council to tell me they have space available in a local hostel, but as im earning it will cost me £158 a week!! thats right...£632 a month (which is a months rent for a decent house round here, with 4 bedrooms maybe)

and to add to the bombshell, the kids there have chicken pox.

not an ideal situation for me. i feel like ive been dealt a bad card. i know bringing up a baby isnt easy but i just wanted things to be ok. as long as i was surviving and had a small house to prepare for the baby then i could manage. but that seems out of hinds reach.

thinking about all this is getting me down. i get so upset, which doesnt help my HG and dont know where else to turn for advice. :( xx

15 Replies

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  • Oh sounds like a hard situation ur in...have they told you if you go into one of them how soon you would be rehoused or if you stay at your brothers would you be rehoused quicker? How are you meant to save and pay your debts off if you live there! Do you know if its a nice hostel? If you have had chickenpox then you are immune to it.....but still doesn't make it any easier for you what about housing association have you looked into that? If that's the case with the hostel at least with private rent you can choose where you want to live and it would be cheaper than the hostel...in our area there is over a five year waiting list for council properties...hope it gets sorted out for u ASAP x

  • So if you are still earning, why can't you rent a two bed property privately?

    In my area if its a deposit that you are struggling to get they give a temp loan, do thy do this in your area?

    As a single parent are you not entitled to housing benefit, I think the cap in my area if you earn under £25,000 they help a little but with rent, council tax deduction.?

    I'm surprised you are not getting the help you could get, unless you are on such good wages that you could manage anyway!

    No such luck in my area it's ten years to get a council place, and only if your homeless or single parent!

  • If you can afford to pay the hostels really you might as well get a 2bed house with a garden!and as a single mother am sure you will get some sort of help if you claim.you work hard so am sure you are entitled to something I see it on the news all the time.

  • Hi, sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I'd suggest getting in touch with citizens advice or another advice charity if there are some in your area. They may help you to manage your loans and be able to advocate on your behalf for housing options.

    Good luck x

  • OMG i cant imagine having to have hyperemesis in such a terrible situation. know exactly what you mean about stress making it worse. I can't help much with advice, but just wanted to ask if you know about any support groups for women with hyperemesis? There's a Facebook group called hyperemesis gravidarum and pregnancy sickness support. There are loads of women on there having problems with work and there are people who know about benefits and employment law who might be able to advise about financial help. There's also a mumsnet group and a couple of ladies on there are having the same problem, partners who have left them to cope with hyperemesis. There are link on sites.google.com/site/pregn...

  • thanks everyone. I wish i was on a brilliant wage. it seems with the council here if you earn over 200 a week your not entitled to any help at all. even though i am a single parent. im £18 over that bracket. they dont help with the bond either as im still over the helping bracket. only thing i can get is working tax credits (i think).

    the local council and housing associates have joined in my area and some areas are up to 5 years waiting. If i could afford to pay a bond on a 2 bedroom house and would rather private rent. the housing assocation are in the process of building 14x 2 bed houses and another 9 x 3 bed houses in a new housing estate. but they cannot be allocated for 3 months. so i have to wait and see. and thats no guarantee.

    Lyracat... i have joined the groups on Facebook for the hyperemesis, its not the easiest thing to deal with at all.

    Thanks all for your advice xx

  • Your get working tax credits and child tax credits also the council dummy tale into consideration until u have actually had the baby as soon as u have take the birth certificate to the housing dept xx

  • Don't take that was supposed say! ! And thought this government were going more people that were working!!!! hope u get it sorted xx

  • Also if u decide do parttime hours after baby is born u would be under the bracket can't believe they are so unhelpful !

  • yes, the lady in the council suggested dropping to part time now. i was shocked. she is meant to be encouraging people to return to work. surely thats what the government want, is people to work. ive worked since i was 15, i would hate to not be in work or not have the feeling of being independant in that way.

    they are unhelpful and your right, until baby is born they wont take him into consideration. xx

  • If a 4 bedroom house would cost that much to rent then surely a 2 bed house in your area will be cheaper. Can you not go to your local estate agents and ask. My sisters previous dealings with our local council housing department is horrendous so if you can avoid going private and can afford private I would try and stand on your own two feet.

    Can't believe the baby's father hasn't offered any help towards his unborn baby. Start thinking positive and sort your situation out now before the baby is here.

  • blimey, u sound like ur going through it...do u not have any other family or anyone with a room to rent to maybe get away fromt the current place u live? I have to pay 725 a month for a 1 bed house!! so I kno how u feel!! as above r u in contact with the babys father, I wouldn't expect money for a house but r u going to be able to get financial help from him when the baby is here?? x

  • im not in contact with him. he disappeared. Better to find out now sooner though. and its less stressful without him around. all houses are more than £500 a month to rent. even a 2 bed. but then they are close in price range as it goes up the scale of rooms.

    i know... i didnt want to be depressing with my blog. lol :) i try to stay positive and even look for houses that are boarded up and say to council about them being empty. but its enver any joy xx

  • I totally sympathise with you on this one when I was pregnant with my first I rented a house off my relatives who at the time lived in the Cayman Islands, after she was born they e-mailed and told me they planned to return to England and would need there house back they gav me four weeks notice to find somewhere else to live. Obviously I was on maternity leave and had planned to return to work after my 52 week entitlement but. Ones was tight whilst I was not working. I also went to the council and was put on what they called there homeless register as after 4 weeks I would have been. After filling out forms and inerviews and patiently waiting they too offered me a place in a hostel with a 6 week old baby are the insane. I ended up searching shop windows and yellow paper as well as gum tree for private landlords rthag didn't require a bond and within you over 2weeks I had a lovely 2bedroomed house with open plan living room and drive way although no garden for £425.00 a month Although I am also not entilited to housing beniffit I I'd get single parents council tax rebate which help alot. I no you might think privately renting is impossible for you at the moment but ave a look in yellow paper, shop windows and gum tree for private landlords and even put a wanted add up to let landlords know you are looking for a place. Once baby s born you will be entitled to child tax credits and milk vouchers which is a massive help and once you return to work you will be entilited to working tax credits too (as is everyone) so you won't be struggling forever keep your chin up, head helped high and remember this is a temporary situation that's all. Take care and good luck. :-) xx

  • And u can get maintenance thru the csa u don't even need contact him they it all for u...and housing benefit and tax credits don't take that money consideration so that will help. .u could drop ur hours to say 30 hours a week or 4 days a week that way u will fall the bracket of being helped and u can always increase when little one gets bigger.. When u go on maternity leave Surely it be entitled after the full pay decreases. .. sounds like u have to wait it out bless you chin up u have come this far xxx

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