did this ever happen

In the morning it came as a realization, that I ask most of the things from my mom. Like as kid getting late for school, dad is in the kitchen (late is expected) I would ask mom - mom where is my lunch box (dad is in the kitchen and cooking yet!).

Or Mom where is my dress, where is my keys, etc etc

And even now I ask most of the things to my mom, mom I have a pain in my back what do i do etc etc.

Dad was little annoyed by me always asking mom for stuffs and things and he said - why dont you ask me anything ever ? (jealous - maybe)

there was a genuine pause for sometime on the phone

and I said - Dad where is mom ! ;)

and than we went to the normal routine of mom-daughter chatting and dad feeling jealous (maybe) :P

6 Replies

  • Lol, I now make more of an effort to speak to my dad a lot more without my mum being there, he definitely got jealous as us three girls relied on mum more, not fair really he as lays been there:) so at 33 got the balance right, infact it's made me determined that when baby boy comes along that I must allow hubby to comfort him and not make him pass baby to me, I want our little man to confide in both of us equally :)

  • Lol! Depends on the relationship with your dad. I think dad's can be sidelined, unintentionally, especially with daughters. Dad's can themselves appear aloof or unable to respond to womanly queries but sometimes dad's can provide useful insights that mum's just can't.

    Perhaps your dad, rather than feeling jealous, feels excluded, not needed. Maybe he'd like to interact more with you but doesn't know how to be more involved?

    I know my partners grown up girls don't include him much in their choices preferring to share their life trials with their mum and whilst he understands it's a gender issue potentially I often wonder how he feels deep down with his, what seems to me, distant relationship with his daughters. I would be gutted if I was a man and my daughters couldn't come to me with the same things they go to their mum for. The same would be if I had had a son. I'd really hope that he could come to me for advice as well as his father.

    I certainly had difficulty relating to my dad as a teenager but as I've gotten older my relationship with him is pretty good! I sometimes have gone round to visit him knowing my mum isn't there just so we can bond. We play scrabble, chess and before pregnancy sometimes share a few rums together (lovely having a Jamaican dad with the decent rum!) When his mum passed away I stayed with him a few days and we shared some special moments that I'll never forget.

    I certainly recommend some opening up to the masculine positive influences in your life but only if you have a good relationship on the whole. I know some people have very very good reasons for not including either parent in their lives.

    My dad has certainly surprised me since being pregnant! He actually rang me once! I couldn't believe it! ;) xxx

  • Ah my parents are no longer together but I've always been a daddys girl we are close. . But everytime he has been up the hospital see my baby he is always to scared to hold them I have to make him lol. .. sounds like he feels a bit left out bless him lol

  • Hahaha, thanks for reading and commenting ladies. I would say I have a very nice relationship with dad too (we often discuss politics, make plans to change the world and we can go on talking for hours on phone on a stretch, I think conversations with dad are much longer and much nicer than with mom)

    But this came as a sudden realization that I always ask everyday stuffs from mom - where is my shoes (as a kid) to where is the dinner or where is the doctors number etc. So in last few days I have asked mom more questions than I ask Dad. they dont normally stay together as they work in different regions (so i can always avoid the situation where i call mom but not really have a conversation with Dad and vice-versa) but for the last 14 days they are in the same house.

    So maybe my old man was getting little jealous of his wife getting most of the phone time these days (which is because I have so many questions about the pregnancy and baby shopping plans, what she is buying what I should get etc etc)

    So when he told me to ask him a question the only one I managed to ask was - where is mom? Now that is a question :P

    And I could hear the dismissal and cute daddy frown ! My dear father ! (but after the baby is there, I think I would be back on making bigger social change plans ;) hopefully ! )

  • I have always been a daddys girl, I asked my dad for everything and talked to him more than anyone. I think thats why im struggling a bit during my pregnancy (22 weeks now) because he passed away 3 years ago. I still talk to my mum but it doesnt feel the same :(. Sorry to put a downer on this post but I think that you dont appreciate some of your family until they are not there anymore.

  • well I would say that its true for every family member, irrespective of how often you talk or what your equation with them is. I lost my brother when he was just 25 years. And I always regret why I dint call him that day in the morning to say that I love him and I am proud of him but instead thought I would call in the evening. :)

    Probably what happens with three of us me asking questions to my mom, Dad telling me 'ask me a question too' and me asking him a question - where is mom, happen the other way round with you :)

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