Joyous moments ruined.

[jynx666]

Just need a good moan so here goes,

I was over the moon when I found out I was expecting my second child, however my Husband almost had a heart attack, he had to see a Doctor for chest pains and shortness of breath and made it very clear that he's not happy at all and wont even talk about the new baby. Telling my Mum was a bust, the look of disappointment and disgust was overwhelming and she also made it very clear that she was largely upset about it. The one person I was looking forward to telling was my Father-in-law as he's been waiting for this as long as I have and I knew he'd be excited, my Husband wanted to wait until after the scan to tell him, which was fine but I'd confided in someone I thought was my friend when all the stress was getting me down and she went behind my back and told him anyway. Even my 2 year old son's not excited, he throws a tantrum every time the new baby's brought up and I don't know how to get him excited or to stop him using me as a trampoline.

Moan over.

x

[minime61]

Sorry that things are going well at the moment regarding breaking the news.

Take each situation one at a time perhaps?

Your toddler: Don't mention baby much again until you are further on and you can point out your bump and look at some books, he's only 2 so you can't expect much enthusiasm.

Your Mum: why is she upset? Is she worried for you?

Your husband: that's the hardest of all. Give him a bit of space and then make it clear that you need to make a time to talk about it and make some plans (just the usual stuff like where baby is going to sleep etc etc). Listen to him and his reasons for not being happy. Your going to have to respect his feelings but tell him that you also have feelings and you are excited and you hope he will start to feel better about the situation as the pregnancy goes on.

Good luck xx

[Hidden]

Woah! Im surprised you're only moaning to be fair. (I'd probably be writing messages of sorrow & tears by now) . Would you consider you & your husbands relationship "in general terms" to be good. My thought is that if you're in a relationship "marrige in your case" & you are sexually active its very possible you can become pregnant.

He should understand / agree with that.

In your son's case you've probably just need to give him small explanations that should give him time to get used to it.

xx

Do you have any female family members or close friends you could ask advise. Sometimes its good to have someone to look in from the outside to give good solutions.

[jynx666 in reply to Hidden]

Surprisingly our relationship is fantastic, in the 4 years we've been together we've never argued and hardly disagree on anything. We weren't using birth control as we'd decided together to have another he just freaked out when it happened.

I have 1 friend I can count on and discuss things with but at the moment I'm supporting her through her problems and don't want to burden her.

I've got my 20 week scan next week and I'm taking my son so hopefully that will help him understand and maybe change my Husbands mind, however he's really opposed to having a girl so even though I want one I'm hoping for a Boy just so he doesn't freak out even more.

xx

[roselee]

bugger them all. be happy, very happy. they will all get used to it. and as for your husdand he should have kept it in his pants then shouldnt he.

Ha HA

[ashy2005]

aw no sorry you are going through a difficult time when you should be celebrating

I agree with all comments above you should be happy.. It can sometimes take family a little while to adjust and when they start to think about the future, they realise how great it will be

When I first told my partner he was quiet and withdrawn for a few days, I was extremely upset as I had two miscarriages a few years before and couldn't understand why he would act this way. Turns out he was worried about me and our baby and didnt want to ruin my happiness by telling me about his fears hes still reluctant to make future plans and im 29 weeks.. Men!

I would talk to your husband and mum about any issues they have.. and give your son a little longer to adjust. Hopefully everyone will come round in time

Good luck xx

[ritz21]

Although I would not say that happiness is a guarantee, but yup I am quite appalled by the situation around you honey.

It was a reverse stuff with me - despite of the fact that I was planning a pregnancy (I honestly never thought it would happen as soon as I plan, never thought myself to be that fertile probably) but when it actually happen I have to meet a consultant to get my insecurities in control (and ofcourse the rest of the plans of surprising the family and keeping a bean next to my husbands pillow etc dint went through as I was so disappointed with my life)

But I cant even imagine being in your situation - you surely are a strong woman !

However, I also think you need someone who can advise your family - especially your husband (the almost heart-attack condition is not what normally happen to men on hearing such news - yes! they are capable of not reacting, but this is honestly too worrying)

As for your mom - I would say, probably that should not be your priority - unless she is living in the same house as you - but than with mothers sometimes you just cant handle them, so dont waste your energy on that front yet !! you need it to grow the baby.

With your friend you MUST tell her that she ruined a surprise and this was not expected out of her (that should sort her out, if she is a genuine friend)

With your son, I think most of his reaction can also be a reflection of what rest of the family members think, say or do. Kids are too innocent to feel excited, they have to be told to be excited! (In my family everyone was hoping for a baby girl this time, as there has been none in last 30 years, but my nephews were not quite glad about the idea - but than we succeeded in making them glad eventually - they were told to be excited in certain subtle manner like, Oh! you would have a cousin sister to take care of, she can cook you nice food when she grows up, little sisters are nice, etc)

But yup moaning in your situation is too less - I would have been hysterical and depressed completely had I been you. i hope things get better at your end. bless you

xoxo

[jynx666 in reply to ritz21]

I should probably elaborate on the situation with my 'friend'.

We're no longer friends, after this happened I asked for a blanket back that she had borrowed for winter as it was a present from my Nan and very sentimental to me, to which she reacted badly, she threatened to send her ex boyfriend to my house and burn it down whilst we were all asleep, safe to say I haven't slept well since but so far nothing's happened and the Police saw it as an empty threat and decided no further action was needed.

To make it worse my Father-in-law's still living with her even after she threatened him too.

x

[Megzey]

Were you and your husband trying for another baby or was it a suprise pregnancy??

[jynx666 in reply to Megzey]

We'd been trying for about a year.

[Megzey]

Thats crazy that he reacted like that. You would think if you had been trying that long that he would have been over the moon with the news. Men are strange sometimes and know how to over react a situation as for your so called friend who blabbed you news I wouldn't even bother with them anymore that is just not a nice thing to do to someone IMO.

Congratulations with your news, it is so exciting. My little one was 2.5 when I fell pregnant with my 2nd he will be fine once the baby arrives they just dont understand.