I had my 12 week booking scan yesterday it didn't go well.

The Sonographer said all she could see was a 6 week "pole". i am 100% sure on my dates.

she kept saying she was really sorry and referred me to the early pregnancy unit which was basically a waste of time. she advised me if i had any bleeding not to come to the hospital. she has booked me in for another scan next week. i know i must be miscarrying. i am totally devastated. can anyone tell me what will happen next week please

[Skyblueboston]

I'm sorry to hear this you must be in shock!

So next week they will scan you to see if the pregnancy has developed, by seven weeks a heartbeat is seen!

Obviously if your are 100% sure that you are 12 weeks, then you are right you will be having a miscarriage, have you been bleeding at all? Any pain!

What date did you get a positive pregnancy result?

So if it is bad news you will be offered options to help the miscarriage along, erpc, tablets or wait for nature to take it course.

This type of miscarriage is called a missed miscarriage, like me I was nine weeks pregnant but baby had died at 7.5 weeks, I had an erpc.

Xxxxtake care xxxxxx

[Hidden in reply to Skyblueboston]

Thank you so much for your advice Skyblueboston it was very helpful.

since i emailed you last i have started bleeding. prior to this i didn,t have any symptoms in fact i felt amazing.

I know now I am definitely miscarrying and it is breaking my heart. I was wondering how you coped with your loss. I am so sorry to hear that :-(.

thank you again. its a sad state of affairs when i have to get information from a total stranger. i am reluctant to contact the early pregnancy unit as to be truthful when i was there Monday they were very unsympathetic.

Take care of yourself. xxx

[Hidden]

Dear popples1.

I am so sorry to hear this. However, please do not sit and worry for a week. Your early pregnancy assessment unit should provide clear advise and councel for you in your situation so you know exactly what is happeneing and exactly what they think may be happening. Its unfair for you to be left in the unknown here. Please contact them, explain your concerns and ask them to claify it better or to repeat the scan with another sonographer sooner. I really hope you get the information and clarity im sure would help you at this diffiuclt time.

Take care

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Studentmidwife1

I started Bleeding yesterday and it is breaking my heart. I am very disappointed with the early pregnancy unit and don't feel i would get the support from them. I was wondering is there any point in having to go through the scan next week?. i know now i am definitely having a miscarriage. I feel so lost.

Thank you again you have been very helpful

Take care.xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Dear popples1,

I am so sorry to hear you were disppointed with your care. Its not the way this should be at all. I cannot even hope to imagine what your going through and i understand this time is overwhelming and confusing for many reasons. Miscarriage is a heart breaking thing but in many ways it is also your bodies amazing way of recognising something is wrong well before anyone is able to do so. Your body has an amazing ability to sense when things are not all right with your pregnancy and while utterly heartbreaking it is also your bodies way of protecting you. It does not however mean it has anything at all to do with you or anything you have done and once you have recovered from this and have the strength to try again things may be very different. It is absolutly your choice whether you go for your scan, I imagine it will be rather distressing if you do but then again it may be again the clarity you need. Do contact the unit and explain you are bleeding and they should offer advise on whether a scan is neccessary. When you are feeling stronger please also contact the trust and explain the care your recieved so they may work to change their approach to women in your circumstance in the future.. If you havn't found your community midwife or unit helpful try the miscarriageassociation.org...., they have a website and helpline which can offer tailored advice and councel for you.

I do hope that you and your family find some peace with this and one day find the strength to try again. One day, I promise it will be worth the wait.

Take Care

[Megzey]

Popples1 I feel so sorry for you, have you spoken to you midwife from the doctors?? Can she not help organise things for you?? I know when I had my mc my midwife was usless but I dont think they would all be the same.

[MELLISSAC8]

Hi, I know how you feel, I was 9 weeks as well in august wen I had some bleeding and went to EPU for a scan and was told that the fetal sac is present but no pole and was asked to come back in a week I ended up going back the next day cause I had started to bleed more only to find out that it was a miss. I know its hard people will never understand how it feels to have a life in you and inthe blink of an eye its gone but do take care of yourself. I was told that if the baby had come full term something would have been wrong with that baby so I take comfort in that. Find something or someone to pull some streanght from and you will be ok. I am now 8 weeks pregnant and there is this fear in me that its all going to go wrong again but I trust God that he will see me throught.

[Hidden in reply to MELLISSAC8]

Thank you Mellissac8

Fingers crossed for you everything is ok for you this time

take care of yourself.xxx

[Jlwild10]

After years of trying we had a missed miscarriage at 13 weeks and it was devastating so I know how you feel and it's the worst pain in the world. I went for the surgical option so I didn't have to go thought the trauma of miscarrying the baby and I was put in touch with a grievance midwife who really helped. I would certainly recommend speaking to someone if you can but only time helps you get over it. Take care. X

[Hidden in reply to Jlwild10]

Thank you Jlwild10

it is good to talk to people that understand. how are you coping now? I hope you are doing ok

take care.xx

[mellymoo]

So sorry to hear this. I went for a scan for as I had spotting and my baby should have been 9 weeks but was only showing at 6 weeks. I was told to go back a week later. I didn't think the EPU were very sympathetic either but I think it is because you are taking in information and maybe feel a bit dazed. I rang the EPU and asked for someone to go through the scan with me as I hadn't felt that that I had fully understood. The nurse on the phone was lovely. I knew my dates 100% too so I knew I was having a missed miscarriage but needed to hear the nurse give me her opinion. When I went back the following week they confirmed that the baby had not developed any more so I was miscarrying. I waited at home to miscarry but I found I couldn't wait any longer so I had an MVA under local anesthetic last week and am now recovering at home. It is such a difficult time mentally and physically. Take care and definitely ring and get them to discuss your scan when you feel you can take the information in better. xx

[Hidden in reply to mellymoo]

Thank you Mellymoo. i Rang Epu today and explained how i was feeling with the lack of information. Thankfully i got a lovely midwife and she has answered all my questions. i have chosen not to go for a repeat scan as i really cant go through that all again and especially as i work in the hospital and know all the sonographers. I am letting nature take its course. i know it will be tough. How are you feeling now. my heart feels like its broken in two.

take care of yourself. xxx

[Skyblueboston in reply to Hidden]

Hi popples1, so sorry to hear that you are having a miscarriage

How did I cope! I cried a lot , took time off work, talked about what happened and how I was feeling with my hubby, I also wrote a letter to my baby, and put it in a little memory box. This helped alot.

Then when I felt better I got busy at work, stopped ttc and just enjoyed myself again, still had down times, then a miracle happened I fell pregnant without any fertility drugs, and I'm now 27plus 1 day pregnant with a little boy

Don't give up hope, but have. Good rest xxx

[Hidden in reply to Skyblueboston]

thank you Skyblueboston. so happy for you and i wont give up. just want to feel back to normal again and just hope this never happens to me again, good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and thank you so much for your advice it has helped me so much.xxx

[mellymoo in reply to Hidden]

Hi, Hope you are feeling ok today. I am not too bad. Have bad days when there seems to be pregnant people all over the TV and internet and it is hard to cope but just trying to be positive. Hope to try again soon but it is a scary thought. Take care of yourself. xx

[sugar123]

Im so sorry to hear this. I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks. I know how you must be feeling. You still need to go to the early pregnancy unit. They will advise you. Contact them hunX

[Jlwild10]

It was really tough especially as my younger brother and his girlfriend had a baby a few months after I lost ours but we got pregnant really quickly when things returned to normal and I'm now 34 weeks and everything looks perfect so far so as hard as it is there is always something to get you through. I'll never forget my first, even though it was early days and I still think of what she would have been like but you have to think that it happened for a reason... Although I hated it when people said that to me! Good luck and I really hope everything works out for you. Xx

[cheekymonkey3791]

Hi Popples, I was so very sorry to read your news, you must be really going through it emotionally at the moment. I to understand first hand how difficult this is for you, I have experienced 2 miscarriages, one being just 6 months ago and it is a very personal decision on how you decide to proceed. I know you've said that you do not wish to go for a repeat scan and so on as you wish for nature to take its course and I totally get this as i made this decision for myself on both occasions, however on the 2nd one I had an incomplete MC which means that whilst most of the tissues have passed some remains attached and a scan confirmed this was the case as i will still having familiar pain and still I let nature take its course but for some this does not happen and you could find yourself quite ill.

Are you experiencing any pain or bleeding?

I found this website a real help for me during and after and there is a confidential helpline if you want to talk. miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

If you want to talk please do not hesitate, we are all here to chat and support you ok xxx

[Hidden in reply to cheekymonkey3791]

thank you Cheeky Monkey

yesterday is only what i can describe as the most horrendous pain and bleeding i have ever experienced. still having some today. my mum says its like going through labour except i haven't anything to look forward at the end.

when i contacted my gp the other day she said oh it will be just like a period . well she has got that totally wrong!!!. she said i would be ok in 10 days but was very blase about it all. she wasn't really concerned about my emotions. i am so sorry to hear about your mc x2. i really dont know how you are dealing with it all.

Thank you for the website address i will contact them

take care of yourself.xxx

[cheekymonkey3791]

Hi Popples, I am so sorry to hear this and you talking about the pain takes me right back & yes I totally agree there is just no comparison to period cramps! And again when I called doc she just told me to prepare myself and was quite dismissive about emotion. I mean, even when I went in proudly on day 1 to announce my pregnancy at the docs she was already talking about the odds of me miscarrying and I thought, that just insensitive! I am 16weeks preg now with my 3rd pregnancy and I still fee very sad at time for my lost ones, I brought a new angel the Christmas Tree last year and it took pride of place.

If your pain is still quite bad you may want to see someone about it as you need to be aware you could be vulnerable to infection if tissue remains.

I hope you have loving people around you to help you through this and you take care xxx

[Hidden in reply to cheekymonkey3791]

Thank you CheekyMonkey, it makes me so sad hearing your Story i don't know how you are coping with all you have been through.

I find the health professionals extremely dismissive too. i work in the health service but not a midwife/doctor it certainly makes me think about my own practice.

had an extremely bad day yesterday i just wanted to cry and sleep constantly.

I really hope and pray that everything goes ok with you with this pregnancy.

You have been so helpful in getting me through this.

take care of yourself. xxxx

[Hidden]

very sad :-((((((