Can arguments/fights (non-physical) cause miscarriage?

My husband and I generally get on really well but a couple of days ago we had a massive row which lasted for hours (yes I know we are crazy). It was all verbal but we were yelling and I got very upset. I am mildly asthmatic and so got out of breath and felt very drained afterwards.

I am almost 10 weeks pregnant and am worried that the argument might have caused a miscarriage, as the baby depends on my oxygen, heart, etc. particularly as it would have raised my stress levels severely. I know the baby had a heartbeat at 8 weeks as we had a scan following some bleeding earlier in the pregnancy. I haven't had any bleeding or cramps following the argument but, from what I have read, you don't necessarily need to have those symptoms in order to have had a miscarriage.

I feel incredibly guilty about getting into such a terrible row and possibly impacting my baby. My dating scan is in two weeks but I am finding the wait difficult, dreading that the baby's heart may have stopped beating.

Any thoughts anyone is able to share would be appreciated.

17 Replies

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  • Hello ,

    I would try not to worry too much . At the beginning of my pregnancy just after the dating scan , my partner and I had an argument , I worked myself up so much that I had a panic attack ( possibly one of the worst since my diagnosis with an anxiety disorder ) , this also lead to an asthma attack and more panic . I am now 25 + 5 and everything has been ok so far.

    We rarely argue and haven't since . I am not a confrontational person , and avoid stressful situations ( even more so now ) . Please try not to stress , I know it's easier said than done . I have found that prior to scans and appointments my worry levels shoot through the roof .

    I hope my experience puts your mind at ease . X

  • Thank you Hbaby1 for your kind reply.

    I have done a lot of guilty crying contemplating that I have caused the unthinkable. It helps to know that you have gone through something similar and it has been ok. As you said, going forward I will definitely do my utmost to avoid future stressful situations.

    Thank you for sharing your experiences with me and I wish you all the best with your pregnancy :-)

    xx

  • Don't worry me too had a massive row got upset etc and everything is fine, I really think it takes a lot more than an argument to cause any harm, I think if it was over a very long period of time it might cause high blood pressure! I'm asthmatic too and have had an attack aswell I was worried about the oxygen etc but luckily all was fine. I also think tht a misscarriage will happen on its own and nothing anybody does can prevent them at such an early stage, I had a misscarriage last year, this time I'm 16 plus 1 and keeping my hopes up. Xx

  • Thank you Skyblueboston for your kind reply.

    Knowing that other people such as yourself have gone through something similar helps put things into perspective.

    Thank you for sharing your experiences with me :-)

    I am sorry to hear about your mc last year and I wish you the very best with your pregnancy this time round. xx

  • Thank you for raising this topic. I have a similar situation like yours. Had couple of fights - two major ones at week 5 and then at week 10 ended up with the Asthma and feeling guilty.

    However, as I have not had any implantation bleeding or any other kind of bleeding all over the 12 weeks now, I was not offered a early scan. I would go for my first scan tomorrow and I am hoping everything is alright. Keeping my fingers crossed !!

  • Hey Ritz21, thanks for your reply.

    It's funny, with the early scan I felt so reassured for about a week....! And then I started worrying again whether the baby would be okay especially as I've hardly had any pregnancy symptoms (not that I'm complaining). But after the fight I was convinced that I'd harmed the baby so it has been nice to hear that a) the argument should not have caused any issues and b) I am not the only one going through this.

    From what people have said, the fights shouldn't have caused any major problems to your baby.... I will keep my fingers crossed for your scan tomorrow. Let me know how it goes xx

  • I hope everything is well with your baby and my baby too. I am also in the same boat w.r.t. sickness. My boobs are not 'that' sore and I am surely not 'very' morning-sick, though I have strange taste in my mouth whole day.

    I did throw up twice in the 12th week, but that was the only throwing up episodes. Apart from that I feel very tiered and sleepy somehow.

    About arguments and fights my mom keeps telling me that kids learn a lot of stuffs in the womb - So I hope the little one was not really listening to how bad mommy could be at times ;)

    Good luck and dont worry you baby would be fine too :)

  • Hey Ritz21 how did the scan go today? I hope all went okay...

    It's funny, my boobs have been sensitive and I've had a lot more wind (oh joy!) but apart from that no symptoms not even the metallic taste. It does scare me sometimes as I would expect to experience more but hey they say every pregnancy is different... I know what you mean about feeling sleepy though!

    Yeah we both have to try harder to not get into fights, it's tough though as this is a really anxious time so am more on edge.

    Anywayz hope all is okay xx

  • Hey dear, the scan was great ! the little one waved to us and said hello even. And it was moving so much my husband was so curious to know if I can already feel it, ofcourse not ! the scanning-lady said that the due date is 20th July which is a day later than my LMP calculations, but than my periods are normally between 28 - 30 days cycle, so I wont bother much on that.

    And yes every pregnancy is different and probably we are the lucky few who had less strong symptoms.

    But I am hoping the second and third trimester must not come with heart burns because that is really bad - as my normal self i would cure them with a fizzy drink as it works instantly - but not sure how to do it while being pregnant.

    Keep calm and carry on - we would be fine :)

  • Sounds amazing, a magical moment I'm sure! That's so cute that your hubby asked if you could feel the baby moving. It must be strange for the men in our lives to observe but not be able to experience it in the ways that we do (both good & bad)... 11 days to go until our scan... Am trying to stay positive especially after your experience but it is so hard not to think the worst especially as you know because you can't actually feel the baby doing anything... I'm hoping that all will be okay. Well once again congratulations on your first scan. X

  • I really wouldnt worry hun it's a very common misconception that stress causes people to lose their babies. It doesn't, at all. Ive had the most stressful pregnancy ever and I'm 3 day's from my due date. No studies show that stress can cause you to lose a baby, it can induce labour when you are in your 3rd trimester if it is severe but normally only if the baby is ready to come out anyway. After 17 weeks stress can affect the baby, studies show that woman wwho are stressed have babies with higher amount of colic in their amniotic fluid that surrounds the baby, stress hormone but thats it. Doesn't hurt the little one. Still avoiding stress is good for you amd whats good for you is better for the baby xx

  • Thanks for your lovely reply Kell_E!

    It's so hard not to be paranoid but I am so glad I posted on here as before getting the replies I was convinced that I'd harmed the little one!

    Wow you are 3 days away from your due date (or now even 2 days away)! How are you feeling? You must be so excited!! Is this your first?

  • hi, I just want to reassure you too that all will be fine. I had a lot of work stress from week 20 until week 26. I was really worried too what that might do to the baby but he is still kicking away just fine and I'm 30 weeks now and all his tests have been good at antenatal appointments. its so easy for us to scare ourselves when we read about stress /anxiety on the internet and the effect on the baby. I wish I'd never googled it as it adds to worry, feeling your baby move is a much more powerful way of knowing everything is ok and no harm done. I am a worrier too /get paranoid, but I do thinks its nornal in pregnancy as its a hugh life changing event, esp first child ( this is my first). The argument won't have harmed little one at all, good luck!

  • Thanks so much sooke1 for your lovely reply.

    You're right it is sooooo scary especially when it's your first (it is for me too!). As it's so early (am 10 + 5), I can't feel the baby kick/move, so I don't have any way of knowing that s/he is okay. Also I know someone who had a miscarriage recently which I think really hit home for me...

    But I appreciate what you're saying, as it is definitely easy to become paranoid/think the worse so thank you for your reassurance. It's great to know that I am not alone in my experiences and am normal! Our 12 week scan is in 8 days!! Keep your fingers crossed for us.

    I wish you and your little one all the best too! Here's to both of us trying not to worry too much and embracing first time pregnancy and beyond xx

  • Hi, thank you too for your lovely reply, yes here's to both of us not worrying and embracing. I'm finding just sharing experiences like this so helpful in feeling better as I am a natural worrier. I will keep my fingers crossed for your scan and I know you will fine, I had a few crying / stress moments in first 12 weeks too and on the scan the baby looked as chilled as anything, all reclined and peaceful, so it made me realise that these stressful moments don't harm at all. When its your first it's so easy to worry about the worst as we have nothing to compare it to, but from my experinence this pregnancy babies are resilient little things. Thank you for your best wishes, I have 9 weeks to go so I'm aiming to stay calm and positive xx

  • I agree, I too am a natural worrier (how lucky are we? ;-)) and so find that sharing makes such a difference. We haven't told anyone yet except my parents as we are waiting until after the 12 week scan... so, until I found this site, it was tough going not being able to talk about stuff and get advice when needed.

    This site has been a breath of fresh air! It's been nice to share with others and also to realise that there is a much bigger world out there which puts things into context. Yes I want to do the best for my baby but I can't control everything and so shouldn't drive myself mad in the process!

    I will let you know how the scan goes and please feel free to keep in touch and share whenever you want to!

    I am sending you good vibes for the 9 weeks ahead :-)

    Have a fab day xx

  • Thanks so much for the good vibes :) x yes let me know how you get on with the scan, all the best xx

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