Teenage pregnancy

I am 16 and pregnant roughly around 4/5 weeks, i can not tell any of my family at the moment because i will get thrown out so i have come up with a plan any advice on it would be appricate because i want to do the right thing by everyone

Here is it, i was going to go to the doctor/midwife and confirm the pregnancy, then go the the housing/benefits and sort it out, then sort my self and my partner out a house/somewhere to live ( all whilst me and my partner are saving up as he works ), then after i know i have some where to go.. tell my family then inform them im moving out and iv sorted it for myself then they can cool down and get used to the idea and it might prove me and my partner are capable of looking after this child, any suggestions or thought would be helpful, thank you.

14 Replies

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  • It is far too early to go to housing/benefits - from what I have heard, most kick in around 28 weeks? Don't get me wrong - good to go on the list earlier but early pregnancy won't be a factor in housing allocation.

    The first scan is usually around 8-12 weeks after last menstrual period - Dating Scan (not much to see before then). Also, please be prepared, not all pregnancies this early work out (3 miscarriages myself and I'm under 25) so please don't rush any decisions.

    Best thing to do is to wait until it is confirmed - blood test from GP first, then referral for the dating scan and midwife appointment.

    You seem to be thinking clearly about family - it is probably best to tell family once your options are open but they may not react in the way you expect.

  • Thank you ever so much, i am going to the doctors as soon as Christmas is over with to get it confirmed/midwife ect but iv been told by others to speak to housing As soon as possible, thanks again

  • I agree, you need to get the pregnancy confirmed and speak to the midwife. In most places you go to your GP and they book you in with the midwife. Also a lot of areas have specific midwives that work with young people and they should be able to help with your specific difficulties.

    Another good place to get information is your local surestart childrens centre. Im sure if you google it you will find your nearest one. They often run groups for pregnant teenagers to teach you about looking after a baby and all the practicalities etc plus just offer support at this scary time. Its a difficult time anyway let alone having to deal with all these difficulties you are facing!

    Unfortunately you wont be able to sort out benefits until after your 20 week scan (you have a scan around 12 weeks and another at 20 weeks) but get as much info as you can before then so you know where you stand.

    Also, have you spoken to your sister? If she has been through the same think she should be able to give you some advice.

    Good luck. xx

  • Thank you, them classes sound really good! and no, i can't as she'll tell my mum or another family member thank you for your advice.. very helpful xx

  • All I can say is I admire you for not just having a abortion and 'sorting' the 'problem' and most selfish people do.. Good for you wish you all the best sweetie xxx

  • Thank you, Me and my boyfriend just didn't think it was fair that he/she should have to pay for our mistake, And i know it stupid and a little early but were already so excited! xxx

  • Hi, similar to gemmw above, I don't really have any further advice for you, but I just wanted to say a big 'Well Done' to you because, hopefully without sounding patronising, you sound like you're considering all of this very carefully and seem really level-headed and mature for your age. Seems you haven't inherited this from your own Mum if how you think she'll react is right! But that said, you know her best and I'm confident your plan above is a good starting point.

  • Aw thank you! I was worried people might call me selfish or stupid for keeping it.. it's so glad to have been proved wrong, so thanks again, and I know she'll react like that because my elder sister got pregnant at 17 and she kicked her out and didn't speak to her until the baby was born ( they are now very close )

  • No you would be stupid and selfish to kill your baby but your doing the right thing.. My friend is 16 and she's due nxt month .. Age is a number its wether u think you are able to be a mum.. Maybe ur mum might be different this time as its already happened with ur sister? Hope everythings goes well x

  • Fingers crossed and thank you x

  • Hello .

    I have read your other post and would like to say congratulations . At the same time I was saddened and quite emotional to read about your mums reaction . I would like to think that maybe she will be angry at first , but having dealt with a similar situation with your older sister , she will come round to your decision and support you sooner than she did with your sister . Also I got quite upset that you can't talk to your sister about it , as I have sisters and we are all very close . Anyhow , everyone here has been really nice and supportive when I have asked for advice . I am pregnant with my first so it's all new to me too . But I would say that the ladies have given you some pretty sound advice . Sorry I am not more help ! x

  • Aw thank you and Hopefully! xx

  • Also congratulations on your little one xx

  • Hi,

    I am sorry that you have to through such distressful choices, you have all my simpathy.

    The best thing now is to remain positive and strong, as you really seem to be already, and focus on finding the right support. The good news is that there are charities and organizations that can provide you with confidential advice and practical solutions.

    The NHS website mentions the Brook centers ( askbrook.org.uk/).

    I also put together a list of other charities that offer support and that have helpline, i think that if you start to give them a call they will be able to offer you some comfort and help you with the next steps.

    gingerbread.org.uk

    fpa.org.uk/helpandadvice/un...

    getconnected.org/

    Worth Talking About (charity) :Phone: 0800 28 29 30 freephone

    Helpline providing information, advice and guidance for young people under the age of 18 on sexuality and sexual health. Issues dealt with include contraception, pregnancy, family planning clinics, sexually transmitted diseases, peer pressure and relationships.

    I hope this can help a little, good luck! x

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