Have never ever wanted one day to come so much!

Monday the 19th, is the day for my 2nd scan after the 1st showed a gestation sac with a yolk but no heartbeat! the conclusion was intrauterine pregnancy of uncertain viability. Following that I had 2 days of moderate bleeding with clots, doesn't sound good I know with stringy bits sorry to explain further, now spotting very small amounts of fresh blood.

I then found out my recurrent Barthoilin's cyst also showed up normally occurs once a year. Now on antibiotics for that. Part of me is prepared for the worst and the other half is hanging on just in case. I have headaches now and tiredness which comes and goes. I have done extensive reading, and the more I read the more I get divided. I have cried, wished, hoped and now I'm just waiting. Not knowing is the worst part of this, preganancy test is positive 5 days post the bleed but for some women it can apparently stay so until 3 weeks following a miscarriage.

I hope to find out on monday whatever the outcome i am prepared so that i can move on either way. There is no easy answers and whatever we do in life only God holds answers to everything. Even with all the technology that we have, you are sent home to wait for a week, lucky in my case others wait even longer!

It is agony not knowing. I have lost a lot of people in my life. I did not know that I could go through all these emotions for a seven week pregnancy! I guess it is grieving for what could have been and the baby I will never meet if that is the case. God knows best and please God let monday come very quick so i find out what you have planned for me, whatever the outcome God is the greatest and everything happens for a reason sometimes we hurt so much and loose faith and hope but the best thing is to have hope and faith whatever life throws our way.


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12 Replies

  • Try and rest up as much as you can. I had the same thing happen to me and am now 29 weeks! I had two scans and a lot of worry before I saw that beautiful little heart beat. They said I had been pregnant with twins and lost one, but it didn't matter because at least I still had this little one. These early scans are so worrying, when it just too early to see anything. I don't want to give you false hope, but I have seen this on here and other sites lots of times since it happened to me. Try to stay positive. Good luck tomorrow x

  • Thoughts are with you. Xxxx

  • Hopefully everything works out for you. I'll keep my thoughts and pray with you! Good luck! And just as you said, everything does happen for a reason. xxx

  • wishing you all the best.Bless you

    A x

  • Hi I agree with rowdy try and rest up as much as you can x My thoughts are with you and good luck for tomorrow x

  • It is so good to get all the support from you ladies. I am going to find out soon, and whatever happens i will not give up hope i need one more baby to add to my brood sorry if i sound greedy I am being honest. I love kids and tomorrow, just tomorrow I will find out, thank you and i will blog tomorrow whatever the result. In the mean time, I have been keeping my mind off things since this happened that is all I have been thinking of. My eldest daughter said to me mum but you have us there is no need to grieve just be greatful some people dont have even one. So a reminder that there is always something to be greatful for. Thank you so much and wish you all the best.

  • Hi there, my situation is almost exactly the same as yours! I have 3 beautiful children already but really wanted number four to complete the set. When I found out I was pregnant I had really weird emotions, almost as if it had snuk up on me without me realising! Very strange for a planned pregnancy. I think I was in denial a bit because 4 children is uncharted territory for us - we are both from 3 child families - I had anxiety attacks in the night! Still, I got over it by 5 1/2wks and was really happy but then at 6wks 6days (saturday) I noticed some blood and I was terrified. I bled intermittently on saturday, was fine on sunday morning but lots came out in the afternoon with stringy bits and clots, I also had a very strong ache in my womb....felt like after you've given birth when it's all contracting back. Now I have bright red spotting and a little ache and I have to wait until tomorrow for my scan at 10.20am! I'm really scared. I know you are probably finding out as I type so I wish you luck, I hope it works out for the best for you and know that you are not alone - it's happening to me too! xx

  • First of all very many thanks for your support, I have really appreciated it and monday finally come and i went back to the E.P.A.U. to the royal lodnon. The care there i have to say is very very good. I waited a few minutes and was seen. Yolk sac still insitu. No significant changes except there was a slight change in the middle of the sac, which looked like a division or a shrink. The size is down by 1 mm from 21.0 mm to 20 mm. Conclusion today after seeing the doctor, consultant and senior nurse is delayed miscarriage. They dont see any good outcome, still no heart beat and i have to choose which way to bring this to a close.

    Surgical, mediacal or conservative/natural way. At present I am still breatsfeeding a 19 months old beauty and dont want any medicine or anaesthetic in my body. I will wait 2 weeks and if nothing has happened will have to choose one of the other options. In the mean time I hope nature will take its course and bring this to an end. I have been warned to expect severe pain and a significant bleed. In the mean time I choose to try and forget about this and appreciate what I have. All the best to everyone and best wishes. I will try again, God willing just one more time and will now accept whatever comes my way, thanks and thanks again.

  • So sorry that it is this news that you are sharing with us today. I hope that your faith is a support for you at this terrible time. Very best wishes for the future, remember we are all here if you need to talk this through.xx

  • I am so sorry to hear the news wasn't good my thoughts go out to you and we are allways here to talk if needed x

  • I am so sorry that it didn't work out for you this time. I am the same. When I went in for the scan it had all totally gone, only a bit of the lining left. I had a complete miscarriage. It must be odd waiting for it to come out naturally, from my experience I can say that the pain wasn't excruciating - just a heavy, strong ache really and that the bleeding, whilst heavy was more of a consistent flow with heavier spurts (sorry to be graphic). I know everyone's experience is different and I can't say that yours will be like mine, but hopefully it won't be as scary as it seems.

    I wish you all the best....are you going to try again? I have been told to wait for a complete cycle or two to pass because the lining might be a bit thin but I want to do it as soon as I can! I think I might put feelers out to see how many others have successfully conceived and carried straight away.

    Take care and good luck for next time!

  • Iam sorry for you Chingaling, still waited today not much happened, slight bleed and back pain. Called in and booked for a dilatation and curretage on monday. Been told that they will scan first and if not everything is out then they will proceed. Thought about waiting for nature and it might take a long, long time. As for trying I will not wait as there is a new research which suggests that if you are over a certain age you should not be waiting unless of course you have other health concerns. At present my only concern was a Bartholin's cyst and I have been told it has never been known to contribute as it is normally on the vulva which is far from the uterus and has been treated and will be on the look out for it next time. Good luck to you too and let us both hope for a better outcome next time. x

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