I can't believe it but I think I've become depressed. I had clinical depression a few years back but believed myself to be over it, never medicated (always gave me side effects) but had a great person centred counsellor who helped me tremendously. I can't afford to see her now sadly.
A snowball effect of worrying things (a bleed week 14, finding out all my friends and people I considered family are deliberately blanking me since I split with an ex who I was with for 16 years, my finances deteriorating quickly from my self employed business and no money for food meaning eating up my stores, living somewhere where I don't know anyone) has left me feeling very isolated, weepy, lonely and extremely fearful. How can this be? I'm supposed to be happy at this time, I'm supposed to get my energy back and be glowing. But I feel like a dull bronzed two pence piece.
I have attempted to confide in people I know but they just say it's "normal", that my thoughts are just irrational because of being pregnant, that I'm paranoid. Are my feelings from here on in no longer valid and due to hormones only? When will I tell if I'm reacting hormonally or genuinely? I'm confused.
I can't seem to ease the anxiety I have or the feelings of depression. I'm going to talk to my midwife when I have an appointment with her next week.
In the meantime it will be really useful to hear how others have coped and what they have employed to help them through, if you have experienced similar please tell me how you managed. I'm so scared. These feelings and depression won't be good for little one and my attempts at forcing a good mood is failing.
I'm not religious at all so I don't get comfort from praying or reading scriptures.
Things I've tried... knitting, listening to music, crocheting baby hats for charity, asking people to share their good news.
Please help, what else can I do?