Second miscarriage this year, what am I doing wrong?

Some of you kindly replied to me after my miscarriage in June, which was at 6 weeks. I went through all the scans and blood tests that time and after 3 days got confirmation of the loss :-( I had a period about a month after that and then fell pregnant again, I am (was) 5 weeks pregnant and overjoyed. This morning I have started bleeding, with pain etc and a subsequent pregnancy test has come up negative. After speaking to NHS direct and then the out of hours doctor, they suspect a chemical pregnancy (i.e. a very early miscarriage) and said to let nature take its course. I am gutted, what am I doing wrong? I am 40 years old and worried that its too late :-( I am taking all the appropriate vitamins (folic acid etc) and haven't touched alcohol, am trying to do everything right but how many times before you have to give up??

5 Replies

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  • ah hun i am sorry for your loss, i cant tell you why it happens but alot of women in there 40s have babies, and you are doing everything correct so my suggestions is give your body some time to heal and get your mind in a good place, and no that this is not your fault as horrendous as you might feel at this time i believe everything happeens for a reason, it willhappen for you you need to believe that. x

  • Hi Kirsty,

    You are absolutely NOT doing anything wrong. I had a miscarriage last year, and as it was a missed miscarriage it was picked up quite late (16 weeks). As a result, I had to have surgery, and so was attended by quite a senior doctor.

    He assured me that there was nothing that I had done wrong. He also indicated that as I age (I was same age as you), my eggs also age, and that there is an exponential increase in miscarriages (purely due to egg health) once you hit 40. He also assured me that there was every chance that I would go on to have a normal, healthy pregnancy (which thankfully, I have). He did suggest that if I had, say, three miscarriages in a row that I could go for additional tests to ensure everything is working appropriately, but more importantly that I should make sure that my emotional health was intact!

    So, give yourself time to recover. Definitely don't give up. Speak to your GP about referrals to specialists if that will help.

    There is also some great information on this site for older mums mothers35plus.co.uk/

    Take care

    R x

  • Im sorry for your loss, to be honest i think that the only thing that you can keep doing is trying and keeping positive, i know that its hard, from personal experiences, this year on Jan 1st i lost my baby unexpectedly at 18 weeks and i was devastated and i bled for a quite some time after, and when i stopped bleeding in april i then discovered that i was pregnant again and then at 6 weeks i lost the baby again, the doctors say that they cant investigate more into it unless youve had three miscarriages which i think its totally shocking! i am now 7 weeks pregnant today and am hoping that this time everything will work out, i think that all you have to do is be patient, think positive and carry on, i wish you all the best x

  • HI huni im so sorry for your loss. Beileve me when i say i know what your going through. I myself have had 2 miscarrages in the last 8 months. The first one at 11 weeks and the second at 8 weeks. The thing you need to remember is you have done NOTHING WRONG. sometimes its natures way of saying that something just isnt right. I think the best thing for you to do is try and think positive... thats how im getting by. I am currently expecting again 8 weeks and counting and very very nervous. Please dont give up. You will get there. I have a 7 year old daughter who was my first pregnancy so it was a huge shock when i lost 2 babies, It can happen to any us huni. I hope this helps good luck x

  • Hi there i really feel for you i had 4 miscarriages and went through the same as you. I would say to you its not your fault. You need time to get over this one but don't give up.i did go on to have a have a successful pregnancy with help from one little pill asprin i know it sounds crazy but i did some research and it worked for me. Prior to this i hated myself thinking i did some thing wong please don't think like that. I wish you all the luck in the world your never to old. Please do so research on baby aspirin it worked for me.

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