Breastfeeding nightmare, please help I'm in so much pa... - NCT


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Breastfeeding nightmare, please help I'm in so much pain 😢

BoyMom1210 profile image
21 Replies

Hi everyone,My baby boy just turned 6 weeks and breastfeeding him has been a struggle from the start. I do believe I am making enough for him to eat since he is gaining weight however I can NEVER get a deep latch with him. He changed the shape of my nipples! They are compressed. Once I'm done feeding him it comes out looking like a tube of lipstick, with the slanted slope at the top. And most times it feels like he is chomping down on my nipples with his gums. I have seen countless youtube videos from lactation consultants on how to properly position and latch but I just can't achieve a deep good latch. I've seen 2 different lactation consultants and they weren't really any help to me. One said it's okay if my nipple is shaped like that, but I believe there is a reason to why it's coming out compressed. Either he is compressing it to reduce the milk flow or something with his oral anantomy. The prediatrician said he doesn't have a tongue or lip tie. I'm completely stumped and don't know what is the main cause of the problem is. I get milk blisters that when they come off, it stings so much and is too painful to bare when I'm feeding him. I wanted to try pumping for awhile to allow my nipples to heal but I'm scared pumping could negatively affect my milk supply. Is 6 weeks still too early to pump and bottle feed him my breastmilk? I don't want to give him formula. Please any advice is appreciated. I'm a first time mom and this is giving me so much stress and anxiety, I just want to feed my baby in peace and tranquility with no pain.

21 Replies
Seb9 profile image

I would get some nipple shields as a starter to give your nipples a bit of relief until you can get help. I think in the USA there is a breastfeeding support called the IBCLC, if you Google you might be able to arrange a consult or some local help. I found that changing positions and also squishing my boob into a sandwich make it easier for baby to get a latch. I also used a pillow to lift them up towards my boob better. My little one was born with a tongue tie and this helped her to get a good latch.

Don't be afraid to unlatch baby and try again of you're uncomfortable, baby might cry a bit but it's better to get comfy as if you're not comfy it won't get better.

Get a really good nipple balm with lots of lanolin in it and smoother it on your nipples before and after feeding. Your nipples needs a better skin care routine than your face does now 😉

If you pump instead of providing a feed from breast it should not affect your supply, at 6 weeks you should be fine. It's mainly before the. That you can get oversupply issues.

Lastly I would say don't rule out formula completely, I used to let my husband do one formula feed a day with my baby, he'd give her a bottle in the evening so I could go to bed for a couple of hours. It gave me some much needed rest. I loved my breastfeeding journey and managed to feed both my babies till 16 months, but please don't feel guilty if you want to do a mix and don't get too stressed about it, breastfeeding is amazing but so is formula feeding.

This tiny stage is hard, but it will get better, good luck xxx

BoyMom1210 profile image
BoyMom1210 in reply to Seb9

Yes, I do use a boppy pillow and try to sandwich the nipple in his mouth, though it is hard most of the time to correctly place the whole areola in his mouth since he doesn't open wide with hos tongue down and I don't know how to get him to do that. I always unlatch and try to relatch but it feels the same and he cries to the point where he is red and coughing. I cuurently have a big milk blister on my right side and I feel like some ducts are blocked and that boob feels a bit engorged. How do I treat the milk blister? This is so frustrating. And I'm scared of giving him formula due to the numerous lawsuits against brands where babies had the worst stomach issues, blood in their stool, colicky symptoms and even had died on formula. I know the breast milk is the best milk and as long as I'm producing I want him to have my milk.

Seb9 profile image
Seb9 in reply to BoyMom1210

I always popped my milk blisters with a sterilised pin and then used a Hakka to drain any blocked ducts. Millions and millions of babies have formula every day and some will never even be offered breastmilk, and will still they've. If you speak to a lactation consultant they should be able to offer you advice on your latch and maybe put your mind at ease if you did want to introduce formula, if you do struggle to breast feed directly or exclusively pump. Good luck with it x

Purpledoggy profile image

It might be your latch but might also be tongue tie-it’s so so much more common than people realise and midwives and health visitors largely have no idea how to recognise them unless really obvious. You will likely have a free local BF drop in that can help advise on your latch and may be able to advise on whether TT is likely, if you don’t want to pay to see someone initially (my son’s was informally diagnosed this way then sought diagnosis and snip with an IBCLC, was about 200 quid). If TT is present, in some cases no amount of latch correction will help as they simply can’t keep their tongue over the gum, which is what protects the lower side of your nipple. If you want to continue BF, which is your choice, please don’t suffer-BF drop ins are there for exactly this and they are so kind and knowledgeable. It would be better seeing someone in person than calling a helpline as they need to watch your latch carefully and also, if able, do some simple tests for TT Xx

Chanelle29 profile image

Hi. I'm currently breastfeeding my babe. She is my third child. I breast fed my others, one for 13months and one for 8.5months. This time is the first time I have mixed fed and expressed so early. I had very sore nipples at the start, so I used cream and nipple shields. I also introduced a bottle from the very first day in hospital, as I was having trouble with latching, pain and I was exhausted. Also my babe was premature so she was very sleepy. I've continued using a bottle every day. Whether that be expressed milk or a premade bottle of formula. She takes a bottle usually twice a day, that gives my boobs a break or me. So I can sleep while partner feeds babe. There is nothing wrong with combining the other methods. If your heavily against formula then I would start expressing right away. It will not affect your milk supply. The quicker you introduce the bottle the less likely your babe will refuse it. Some babes won't except a bottle atall so it's best to start ASAP. I wouldn't soley express in the beginning. I would mix expressed and breastfeed until you get the hang of it and feel you can express enough to cover the feeds you need.

P.s sometimes I'm not getting a deep latch either. This is the first babe I'm having that issue with but my nipples aren't in pain.


BoyMom1210 profile image
BoyMom1210 in reply to Chanelle29

Yes I did start expressing the milk with a pump but now my boobs are engorged and everytime I feed him my breasts feel way softer and better but they keep filling up and getting hard. Did pumping cause this? Should I pump to relieve myself or just breastfeed?

Emdog87 profile image

I really struggled breast feeding both my babies, like you it was just agony and I went to so many consultants. I used to use nipple shields with my first but with my second I pumped from day 4. It was difficult at first but once my milk came in it was easy, so I would say 6 weeks would be fine. I would research a decent pump if you’re going to be using it daily. I had some friends that hated pumping but for me it was so much easier than breast feeding. I could pump plenty within 20 minutes. You just need to pump as much as baby would be on the boob. I bought a wireless pump which was easy to take out and about with me.

Have you tried nipple cream? Again it was recommended to me but it never helped but that could be worth a try if you want to carry on with the breast?

It is so frustrating , with my first baby I used to get so upset with it. I was constantly told it will get better but it never did. Definitely try nipple shields, they made a big difference for me.


BoyMom1210 profile image
BoyMom1210 in reply to Emdog87

I actually pumped for a few times in a day around 20 minutes each session and now I'm engorged...I found out through the WIC lactation consultants that the pump flanges were too small for my nipples and they would hurt and be sore pumping. They gave me an endeare breast pump to try with the bigger flanges. But even after I feed him my breasts are soft but they continue to fill up and get hard. I'm thinking the pumping made the engorgement happen and it's not going away it's been 3 days now. Any tips on how to deal with it?

Emdog87 profile image
Emdog87 in reply to BoyMom1210

Oh no, engorged breasts are so painful aren’t they. I used to get them a lot in the beginning too. I would just pump everytime to release the pressure. How often are you pumping? In the early days I would pump every 2-3 hours to mimic how often baby would feed and then any milk she didn’t have I would put in the freezer. As she got bigger I would do sessions every 3-4 hours.


BoyMom1210 profile image
BoyMom1210 in reply to Emdog87

I haven't pumped since I first noticed I was engorged. I've just been feeding the baby as much as I can. I guess I'm scared to pump again since me incorrectly using the smaller flanges caused the engorgement. I'm thinking I have clogged ducts. I'm going to try the hakaa pump hack when you fill it with warm water and epsom salt and attach it to the affected breast. It's supposed to draw the milk out easier I guess.

Shopper85 profile image

⁸Sounds like he has a minor tongue tie I would get referred to see a specialist in a hospital they're really good. My little girl didn't latch properly and it used to sting when she suckled l, turns out she had a tiny tongue tie, so opted to not cut the tongue tie and instead give baby ½ expressed breastmilk and ½ Aptamil formula milk via bottle. I was happy she was getting a bit of both. She had no issues with tummy pain, colic, etc she was generally a happy feeding baby.

Also use nipple shields if u r set on Just breastfeeding and pumping too And pumping doesn't affect supply it mimicks baby's suckling

Aned profile image

I had breastfeeding issues (latching) with my daughter and I was told by my health visitor and the breastfeeding specialist that she doesn't have a tongue tie. Because of the poor latch, my baby wasn't getting sufficient amounts of milk so she would stay on the breast for longer. This resulted in me getting an oversupply to the point where the let-down was so strong, my baby couldn't feed. We decided to seek the opinion of a tongue tie specialist privately, and it turned out that she did have a posterior tongue tie. Unfortunately, my daughter was almost 3 months when we got her tongue tie corrected, and I wish we had done it a lot sooner, as it would have spared me from a lot of pain and emotional battering.

I also wish I didn't get the advice from individuals who were not qualified to give the diagnosis (health visitor, breastfeeding specialist).

Despite going through a difficult time, I have no regrets persevering with breastfeeding. Now she's 13 months old I'm going to have the difficulty of weaning her off the breast completely- nothing makes her happier than the time for a feed 😊.

As mentioned here, make sure you take good care of your nipples and apply lots of nipple balm. I also got silver cups which helped with protecting my nipples from rubbing off the bras.

Best of luck!

BoyMom1210 profile image
BoyMom1210 in reply to Aned

That's awesome! I'm so happy everything was fixed and breastfeeding was amazing for you. I made an appointment with a tongue tie specialist around my area so hopefully everything gets resolved soon.

claire16c profile image

It wouldn’t suprise me if he does have a tongue tie. Can you get a second opinion? Most paediatricians aren’t trained to check them. Search for a tongue tie expert in your area. Yes you can express at 6 weeks x

LucyAlana profile image

Well done for persevering. I found La Leche international useful when I struggled.

I pumped early on and had a bit of an oversupply but it wasn’t a disaster, just ended up with a freezer full of milk!

Good luck x

BoyMom1210 profile image
BoyMom1210 in reply to LucyAlana

Did pumping cause engorgement for you? I wanted to pump and give him the bottle for a little while so my nipples can heal and now I am engorged. It's been like 3 days now and they keep filling up and getting hard when I wake up in the morning.

alohalu profile image

Paediatricians don’t always recognise tongue ties. Ask for a referral to a specialist!

Gloria_B profile image

Have you tried to contact La Leche League? They can give you 1 to 1 support or you can join a group meeting, please see below:

IVFat40 profile image

Just to add to others, I struggled a lot with my baby's latch and have found a nipple shield really helpful. I also did end up giving him one formula bottle a day but use the hypoallergenic formula which has been great for him

Gempuddleduck profile image

Where are you based? An amazing breastfeeding lady came round and helped me out this week. Had to pay but was so so worth - she was amazing. She’s Surrey area of you are too xx

BoyMom1210 profile image
BoyMom1210 in reply to Gempuddleduck

I'm in Stockton, CA. I'm using the help of the free lactation consultants through WIC

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