I have a little boy who is combination fed. I give him 2 bottles of formula a day, I make 3 ounces but he barely drinks 2 nowadays. Rest of time he is breastfed. However his feeding is constant, some is comfort feeding I understand. But this can go on on an hourly basis. Sometimes I can't get up from the sofa for hours. He won't nap properly unless hes had some formula.
But he was weighedyesterday andhe's only 11lb, with all that feeding he's not even average according to what you read on Google. He's was low birth weight because I had gestational diabetes. And people keep commenting on how tiny he is. I feel like I should move over to formula entirely as I thunk he's weight isn't good enough. But I feel guilty. Baby just doesn't seem to be bulking up with all the feeding I'm doing. Anyone got any suggestions? Am I right to be worried if baby weight is below national average?
Health visitor says as long as he follows the curve on the growth chart he's ok. However its taking its toll on me feeding constantly and still just measuring below average.
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It's probably stating the obvious but 50% of children are below average weight for their age at any one time. The HV is correct that staying on their own centile on the curve is usually fine. If you're worried about the pattern of feeding it would be best to talk to either your GP or a BF counsellor/BF helpline, as they can advise on whether the frequency of feeding is normal for his age. If there are other symptoms like excessive reflux, abnormal poos etc, then see your GP to rule out any underlying GI disease xx
If he's following his own percentile, then I would try not to worry, he doesn't need to be average or go up percentiles. If he's growing as expected for him. If your HV isn't worried I would carry on as you are, sounds like your milk is giving him plenty and with formula top ups when needed, I'll bet he's thriving! Sounds like your doing a fabulous job.
My little girl was 5lb 15oz at birth and has always followed the 2nd percentile. I actually only went to get her weighed twice with the health visitor. She was following her curve and she fed lots, had good output in her nappies and was growing out of clothes, so I didn't bother going anymore.
She's still tiny compared to her peers, but that's just her. She's 10 months now and hitting all her milestones so I've no concerns about her weight. She weaned like a champ too and eats about the same as her 3yr old sister at dinner.
Please don’t worry as long as he is getting what he wants don’t panic on size my little girl was 5lb and she is now 2 and still small. She hardly eats loves her milk I speak to hv and doctors and they are never worried they tell me she will take what she wants and all kids are different. So please don’t panic but do speak to hv or doctor if you are really panicking
I had the same issues with trying to get my baby to gain weight and eventually moved from combi feeding to formula entirely when my baby developed reflux and was also put into a pavlik harness for DDH (positioning him upright for feeds became impossible). Do not let anyone make you feel bad for moving away from breastfeeding. I tried everything I could to keep breastfeeding including pumping/hand expressing because of all the pressure I was getting from medical professionals, but in the end switching was the right thing for me mentally and my baby is now doing much better with weight gain.
Personally for me I found it a lot more reassuring seeing how much milk my baby was getting from the bottle, so maybe if you can express milk then do that and mix it with formula to bottle feed, which will allow you to track daily intake. Unfortunately I was only expressing 15ml roughly of milk after pumping for 40 mins and would find it painful the day after which is why I stopped and moved onto formula only! Good luck and just do what is best for you!
Sorry to hear you had to struggle too at breastfeeding. Yes the positives about breastmilk are far less when you're at it all day and baby doesn't excell in weight gain. Makes you think if I wasn't doing hourly feeds his weight would be way less. Yes I think I'm going to start expressing see how they goes if not formula it is.
As your health visitor said as long as he’s following the curve try not to worry. The main thing is he’s not going up and down drastically on the chart. My friend had a very small baby, when she 9 weeks old she still weighed less than my daughter was at birth. Not all babies are the same as national average.
The breast feeding sounds very normal. My first used to be on me for hours, she would fall asleep so I’d constantly have to wake her to start feeding. The advice was she’d come off of the boob when she’s finished but she never would come off. I found it exhausting. With my second baby I expressed and bottle fed the breast milk, this way I knew exactly how much she was having.
Again, try not to compare your baby to others, I know it’s difficult, but I’m sure if your health visitor was worried she would say so.
Hey thanks, I'm getting myself worked up when people comment on him. Makes me think my milk is the reason he's not putting on alot of weight.
Any tips on expressing I'm thinking of doing that now. My baby is the same as yours he can suckle with eyes closed for ages. With pumping like you said i will have an indication of how much hes actually drinking.
I found expressing a pain in the first week or so but once my milk came in it was a lot easier. In the beginning I was pumping every 2 hours, I pump as I’d expect my little one to feed, to keep my milk supply going. I also bought some milk storage bags, as in the beginning I had quite a lot of milk so I’d stick it in the freezer. I have more milk in the morning so can normally get 4/5 bottles out before lunch time. I just knew with my 2nd I couldn’t sit around for hours feeding her as I have a 4 year old to also think about. And with expressing my husband can help. But expressing isn’t for everyone, I have spoke to others that have said they hated it.
I’m the opposite, both my girls were big babies and I always get comments saying she looks a lot older than what she is or isn’t she a chunky monkey.
Just ignore them and focus on your baby, everyone is different. Is this your first? I found with my first I was constantly comparing to others. If he was hungry I’m sure you would know and as long as he follows that curve.
Ok I'll buy them too. I hope I can get on with expressing as its hard feeding baby constantly and then he isn't weighing on the heavier side. Yes it's my first so everything is a big deal even though it doesn't néed to be. You're I'm going to ignore people's comments.
Something else you could try. If you do breast feed when he’s finished a feed use your pump to express, this will make sure your breasts are emptied and it will encourage your body to make more milk. Any milk you don’t need straight away lasts 3 days in the fridge or 6 months in the freezer. Do lots of skin on skin with him and just relax. Getting stressed can also impact your supply.
You just got to do what works for you 2. I envied women that could successfully breastfeed and I thought I was terrible mum because I found it such hard work, I wasted so much time with my first stressing and getting upset over feeding. But second time round we’ve found something that works for us. Baby needs to be happy and fed but you also need to be happy and comfortable with what you’re doing and not just doing what people tell you to do.
That's a good tip thanks will definitely do that. I forgot to say baby doesnt have the deepest latch we had alott of problems to start with. Changing positions has helped abit. With expressing do you have to sterlise pump after every session?
No your pump just needs to be sterilised once every 24 hours. I keep mine in the fridge after each use. This helps limit the growth of bacteria. Yeah I struggled with latches with both mine, they had tongue ties. I used nipple shields with my first baby. Again it was something some health advisors would tell me I shouldn’t use and I spent so much time with breast lactation consultants as I couldn’t get her off of the nipple shields. But at the end of the day she was feeding and putting on weight which was the main thing so I breast fed with the shields for a year with her.
Ok thanks for that. Would you rinse them then pop in the fridge. I've never been told about nipple Sheilds. Good to year they worked for you. We should be given these tips to make things easier right from the start. I was given no advise or told about breastfeeding classes while pregnant even though my midwife knew I wanted to breastfeed
I pop mine straight in the fridge. I know, breastfeeding can be so difficult for some and I think there’s a lot of pressure on women to just get on with it. I think a lot of it depends where you live in terms of what resources are available. With my first I was in London and found quite a few breast feeding NCT classes which were free of charge, they were run by a breast specialist and she really helped me and she made me realise that I’ve just got to do what works for baby and me. The main thing was she was gaining weight and I was happy.
I found it all so frustrating as I would get different advice from different health professionals.
Same here one would tell me baby latch is perfect next would disagree. It can be very confusing. Also I don't know anyone personally who's breastfed their baby and now I know why. It's quite hard
Breastfeeding those early months is really hard, but baby does suckle from you for comfort not just feeding and that does reduce as they get older. They just love that connection and it stimulates your milk production, it's not that you're not providing enough. If he's gaining weight, had good output and following his centipede curve it sounds like you're doing great and producing all he needs. If you switch to formula I've no doubt he'll still thrive, but you do sound like you're already doing a great job xx
Thankyou. Thats what my hv has been saying. I'm thinking of expressing so I can see what he's drinking. Then I know what's comfort feeding even if I put him on the breast after giving him a bottle full
Just remember if do you express and don't get that much out, that your baby is much better at getting milk out than a pump, your pump can't recreate that oxytocin hormone that your baby can. So don't worry if you aren't able to express that much. You've done really well to be breast feeding this far, and if baby takes a bottle of formula then I wouldn't put too much pressure on yourself to express. If it works great if not, baby has still got plenty of ways of being fed. X
Thanks for that tip. I think that's why I've not been too sure about pumping it's not as simple as just putting baby to breast. I've been stressed lately as he won't take the bottle so I dint get a break from feeding. Also until he has some formula he doesn't settle to nap properly.
It's a tough stage, but it does get better. Try and be kind to yourself and get a break here and there. Even if it is just for a nice bath while someone takes baby for a walk to the park and back xx
It definitely is. I wish I had help my family and my husbands family are all in different countries so have no help. Its just us. But parenthood is something amazing. I just want to give my baby the best start by breastfeeding him. Anyway thankyou so much for all the advice it's made me feel much better. I think I'll carry on as I am and once he's able to have abit of solids things may gey better
Although I see a lot of comments already, but I feel I should put in one or two words.
First, everything you describe is normal, so don't be tensed or stressed. Humans come in different shape, and that is applicable to babies. Some people eat a lot and are slim, while some eat little and are big. If your baby is healthy and doing well, "forget" about the weight.
Second, I will encourage you to keep breastfeeding, it is very good if you can do it. Something that can help is to use a baby sling and breastfeed your baby while doing something else (checkout YouTube videos of how you can do this, baby wraps are good for this). That way, you don't get hung up on the time your baby is spending on boobs. If you decide to go the route of breast pump, and you don't get loads out, it might discourage you. However, don't be discouraged because research shows that the amount of milk you express is not reflective of the amount you can produce or the amount your baby gets.
Hi thankyou any advice is helpful. I've never heard of that i will surely look into feeding with a sling on. I'm thinking to try expressing as it will give me some relief knowing what baby has consumed. And may help increase my milk supply. I'm hoping I dont have to feed him formula at all then.
You are welcome. You can try rent pumps before committing to buy one because different pump works different for mothers. Also, I found the suction pump to be good and cheap. Google Hakaa pump or tomee tippee suction pump, they are great and do not require sitting in one place to pump.
The fact you can be on the sofa for hours sounds exhausting for you and him. I’ve been combo feeding my now 7 week old since 3 weeks as I was exhausted. Do not feel guilty. I went to see a lactation consultant and she said I wasn’t producing a lot of milk very quickly - neither did my daughter have a very good sucking technique. She also was hungry after being fed. I wouldn’t pay attention to weight charts too much as I’m sure some are tall and some are small but we paid attention to her crying and sometimes she runs out of energy to take my milk and needs it easier from a bottle. She also takes a long time to take that. Personally I think I’ve given her a good start and whilst I’m letting her on my breast I’m trying to wean my breasts down (after trying to build a supply which is now over supplying) do not feel guilty - if you think you can save time with formula and it’s taking too long for you and your boy is not getting enough do what’s best for you. Do not feel guilty… happy mum, happy baby.
He falls asleep at the breast always. Take him off and he wakes up and starts sucking fists so I think ok still hungry. So the cycle keeps going round. Until I get some formula down him then he will nap better.
I think I'll see how things go next few weeks and decide if i should quit breastfeeding altogether. Unfortunately he refuses the bottle now as I think he's got a preference. He will only drink formula if he's really hungry.
I had the same issue, falling asleep at the breast… put her down and she’d wake up hungry. Since we added formula to top up she sleeps in much longer chunks it’s so much more manageable and she’s quicker on the bottle too. The only thing that takes longer is me pumping and I don’t believe people when they say she’s more efficient than a pump… she will take 17 mins from my breast - and it’s still engorged and then I get 70ml more out of it (having built a supply that takes ages to get it out) so I don’t believe she is more efficient at all. However pumping feels like double the work when my partner has to feed and i have to pump so that’s the reason for weaning off. She has a bit of an aversion to the breast now - I think she finds it too much hard work. I’ve also had a lot of issues with pain in the breast so another reason for stopping.
We plan on formula long term. It means I can help more with the feeds, and one of us can be freer to do stuff. She’s 7 weeks, and my mum was a breastfeeding counsellor back in the day- even she says my baby has had a good start and I should do what’s best and she thinks it’s time to pack it in. Don’t be swayed by people trying to guilt you into keeping bfeeding. Do what’s good for you. They might have had an easier time - different mental health - they don’t know how you feel or what’s best for you. Only you do. I only know 2 friends who solely breastfed - all the rest are combi or formula. But at 3 months your boy has definitely had a good run.
Yes and as a first time mum I think I've done good. I also want my baby to pick up weight better. I don't get the time to eat, well I dint get to prepare good meals 3 times a day. So that makes me question what nutrients he's actually getting from me.
Yes, in the beginning I think she was so hungry we had so many sleepless nights and my mum said if I wasn’t sleeping I wouldn’t be able to make good milk and was all for giving her formula to top her up. It’s much better than it used to be. The main things they won’t get from formula are your antibodies but after 8 weeks they have their jabs, and the most important part is colostrum which is done, the rest isn’t much different. Breast milk also doesn’t have vitamin d which formula does. It’s all about what’s best for you and for baby (both) and it’s not always breast. Sadly it’s pushed down our throats but the lactation consultant we saw said that it’s so wrong women are made to feel guilty because it’s not right for everyone. She said to try and build my supply, but if baby doesn’t improve her feeds and prefers the bottle it’s okay and if I’ve had enough of pumping then I’ve done my best and that’s okay. You’ll be fine winding down now, your little boy has had 3 whole months of you… it’s exhausting and in order to supply him with a better routine you do what makes sense. ❤️
Yes that's what I've been saying. It's more frustrating when baby can't sleep because he's hungry and you feel like you're the reason. As sleep is obviously quite important for them too. I have a problem though baby refuses bottle what do I do for that. He will cry aggressively when I give him a bottle. There's the odd day he will take it quietly otherwise I'm at it for hours trying to get him to drink some formula.
If you decide to try pumping and don't already have a breast pump, there are places that rent them. You could try it out for a couple of weeks to see if it's for you before investing in a pump as the good ones are quite expensive. My baby and I never really seemed to get the hang of breastfeeding and she was falling below her curve. The pediatrician recommended including formula but I didn't want to and ended up exclusively pumping. Baby started to fatten up nicely and I managed to keep going until she was 14 months, which I was pleased with. Good luck xxx
Thankyou. Thats a good idea I might try that actually. Baby refuses bottles that the main reason I don't want to pump in case I buy expensive kit and he's not taking the bottle. So renting one out meanwhile could be good idea. Thanks for that tip.
He used to its just me and husband he would feed him while I take a shower and have time to myself on weekends. But my husband tried last night and baby wasn't having none of it.
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