Four month old daughter refuses to be comforted by my OH. Any advice?

[JoyfulStar]

I am looking for advice on how to manage the issue of my daughter crying hysterically when with her dad but stopping when I take over and soothe her.

My husband has always been involved in her care. He takes over in the evenings and weekends; He also wakes up at weekends for feeds. He has a very positive relationship with her- he plays with her, takes her out for walks and even spends an hour in the mornings with her on most weekdays when he works from home.

He used to be able to put her to sleep and soothe her in the evenings but as she is becoming more awake, aware and assertive, she finds it hard to go to sleep without me intervening. She generally gets fussier in the evenings anyway so he tends to have to deal with her at that time but when she is overtired, she refuses to sleep and despite everything he tries, she cries and sometimes gets so hysterical, that it breaks my heart so I end up soothing her to sleep.

I know it is more than her just being fussy as she does not cry as much with me and sometimes stops immediately I take over.

I would like some advice from anyone who may have gone through something similar and come out of it. My question is what did you do if anything?

I wonder whether I should let her cry to break the habit so that she gets used to being soothed by him or if she would eventually outgrow it.

Thank you in advance.

[Naomi23]

Hi I don't no if you remember but we was pregnant at the same time so happy you have your girl now ☺️ did you try some cartoons or tummy time with your partner my girl was like that and this helped me so much ☺️

[JoyfulStar in reply to Naomi23]

Hi Naomi23, I remember you being in your 2WW and asking about bed rest. Congratulations to you too hun. My daughter is very good for most of the day. She loves tummy time and yes we are beginning to introduce her to cartoons.

She just gets extremely fussy when she is tired in the evenings and needs soothing to sleep. If we play with her, she does respond but all we are doing is postponing the inevitable. She eventually starts moaning and if my hubby tries she fights it and eventually will start crying. If it goes on, she just gets louder until she gets almost hysterical if I don’t step in.

It will be nice if we can both put her to sleep.

[Chiefy]

Hello there,

I think they go through phases where they just want their mum. My son (8mos) has a lovely relationship with his dad, but when he is tired he only wants me. My husband is desperate to comfort our son to sleep but LO just ends up getting more and more distressed and it's awful to watch so I end up taking over.

During his wake windows he plays with his dad, will be fed by him, have his bum changed, but absolutely not be comforted by him when tired.

No advice as I have just made my peace with it and have decided to just enjoy his sleepy time as our special time whilst he is like this.

[JoyfulStar in reply to Chiefy]

Thank you so much for your response and sharing your experience. It is good to know that I am not alone. I hoped she would outgrow it. DH is really keen to give me a break in the evenings but she now insists on being with me when she wants to sleep. The hysterical crying is really heartbreaking isn’t it? All we can do is do our best.

Thanks again hun x

[Chiefy]

We are in same boat and it started when he was 4 months. We have got to a point where he only sleeps on me so now we co-sleep. He won't be like this forever so I'm just going to enjoy the fact I now go to bed for 7pm 😂

[JoyfulStar in reply to Chiefy]

Oh Gosh! My daughter sounds just like your son! She always wants to sleep on me all the time but I still try to put her down in her own bed. It is a battle I am loosing but I don’t want to give on yet as I can’t imagine a 7pm bed time! I tend to give in in the middle of the night to get some much needed sleep 😴 Really hoping she grows out