Sending my baby to Nursery - How did you feel?

[NicoJono]

Hi,

My DD is currently 9 months old and will be starting nursery when she is just over a year old - 2 days a week.

I’ve proper mum guilt about it. Worried if she’ll settle. If she’s be happy. We’ve chose “the best” nursery so it’s not about the actual nursery.

I am worrying how I’ll cope from seeing her all day, every day to seeing her just a few hours a day. I’ll be back at work M-F but have other child care help which means she only needs nursery 2 days.

How did you get on? Does your child love nursery?

[ToniaB123]

I feel so guilty for about a week but then I realised she had such an amazing time there’s nothing to feel guilty about. She goes to nursery full time and loves it so much. They do so much more with her than I could ever possibly fit in and she’s so happy there. She did cry at drop off for about a week but it’s all about learning that you’ll come back and get her at the end of the day. You’ll be totally fine but it would be weird if you didn’t have the mum guilt, I think everyone gets it :). Good luck I’m sure she will love it xxx

[NicoJono in reply to ToniaB123]

Thank you I hope it’s harder for me than it is for her!

Xx

[Greenmum]

Hello NicoJono,I had the same situation, my daughter started nursery just after being 1 and I was feeling guilty and worried, but I have then realised it was worse for me not having her around than for her being at the nursery and playing with other babies.

She did cry the first days when we would leave her (and that leaves you with a deep mum guilt) but they reassured me she would then settle quickly once in class. We started leaving her for few hours the first weeks and sure enough she started to love it so much and to stay for longer periods.

Lots of mum told me they lived it the same way, that the worries where more on them and that their kids loved to be at the nursery.

I am now glad we did start nursery as it gives me time to work without distruptions and I am able to take care of the house or of myself a bit before going to pick her up and then I can stay with her more and with a better actitude once she's back.

And she just loves it and they do a lot of activities she might not have done at home.

You and your little one will get used to the new dynamic and you will be able to appreciate even more the time you spend together!

[NE90 in reply to Greenmum]

Agreed, you value your time with your kids even more then! x

[NicoJono in reply to Greenmum]

Thank you Greenmum! Really appreciate that. And that you appreciate the time together more now! Xx

[NE90]

Nursery is the best thing I've ever spent my money on! Yes, it's extortionate, but it's worth it. My son went when he turned 13 months, he was due to go 4 months prior but Covid was at it's peak and nurseries were shut. At first, he cried a lot on drop off's but he soon got used to it! He is nearly 3 now and does sometimes have his moments but that's because he doesn't like new people straight away (if they get new staff members).

I don't think he would be the same if he hadn't have gone. They learn so much and get to be around so many kids and get involved in so many different things that I don't think I would have the time to do if he was home with me.

My second born ended up going to the same nursery when he turned 5 months and he is now 11 months and thriving there. They both go 3 days a week, and I would send them for a fourth day if I could afford it.

I work full-time and as much as I love my boys to death, I do get a sense of relief when it's nursery days, as I know they are well cared for and going to enjoy their days, and I get a break, (if you class going to work as a break) lol x

[NicoJono in reply to NE90]

Thanks so much NE90!! Great to hear x

[Lydialego123]

We have sent our boy 3 days a week since he was 13 months (23 months now).

He doesn’t like leaving me in the morning….and never has but if I ring, or they send me pictures he’s always having fun shortly after I’ve left. He’s always super happy when we pick him up too.

I’m a real fan of nursery, it gives him exposure to other children and activities I would never be able to do at home.

I also like working, gives me something that’s mine and I get to have me time if I take a days holiday when he’s in nursery and do what I what for the day - even if that’s a deep clean of the house 😂

I was definitely anxious before him starting/going back to work but 10 months on I wouldn’t change it!

Best of luck x

[NicoJono in reply to Lydialego123]

Thank you x

[Bigblueskies]

Oh it’s a painful transition and I really feel for you. I struggled with it too. My first went to nursery just after 1 year old and I was freaking out. She hated the drop offs for the first two weeks but got used to it and loved it soon after! She would literally run to the door and wait to go to nursery in the mornings. I was worried she would pick up on my anxiety so I was putting on a brave face in front of her. They always sense our feelings though…when I started feeling more settled with our new routine she relaxed as well or so it seemed to me.

But it is a big transition so be gentle on both of you and take it one step at a time. My only practical advice is to build up to it, not too fast but not too slowly either. Make a plan with the nursery over 3-5 weeks if possible to start with a few hours a couple of days a week and build up from there.

We made a photo book for my daughter with photos of all of us and her favourite things at home to take with her, in case she felt homesick during the day. That can also help sometimes.

Big hug!

[NicoJono in reply to Bigblueskies]

Thanks so much! That’s a lovely idea! And an honest review of nursery! Thank you x

[Cinderella5]

I've had to put my boys to nursery just after their first birthday to go back to work. I lost my Mum at the start of the year so no choice as we dont have anyone else here. I did feel a bit guilty but to the some token so many people said how good it would be for them. My tummy was in knots for the first few days, or make that couple of weeks buy I'm back at work and they are getting on great! I think you need your prepare yourself for a few tears which makes the guilt worse BUT this no longer happens with us and I can see it helping then develop and I actually feel like I have a bit of me!xxx

[NicoJono in reply to Cinderella5]

Sorry you lost your mum Cinderella 😢thank you for being honest! I think I’m prepared for my tears! Not hers yet! Xxx

[Cinderella5 in reply to NicoJono]

You'll be grand!!xxx