Are early pregnancy units allowing partners now to sca... - NCT

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Are early pregnancy units allowing partners now to scans?

Jess1981 profile image

Background- 7 pregnancies - 2 live children, a loss we 20 weeks pregnant last November, 2 chemical pregnancies ( one before my second child) a miscarriage at 8 weeks in March where I had a dreadful experience no support at early pregnancy unit and was asked by a consultant why I was crying ( I'd just lost mu 4th loss - the scanner couldn't find my pregnancy) at that time partners were not allowed to my EPU.

Since them I've had an appointment with a recurring miscarriage specialist- all the tests showed normal- I'm assuming it's age related and a cruel numbers game.

I'm 5 weeks pregnant and have been referred for early scans- one at 7 weeks and one at 9 weeks. I'm terrified of pregnancy scans. I was told at my 20 week scan my daughter no longer had a heartbeat ( at that point I believed I was in the safer zone) and the other scans I was confirmed a chemical pregnancy ( 1st chemical we didn't bother to have 2nd chemical confirmed no point ) the last miscarriage they couldn't find the pregnancy fortunately the levels were halving so miscarriage was confirmed. All these experiences have left me very frightened of scans. Dreading them. There was no support from my early pregnancy unit either.

I know each CCG will vary but I hope if others are allowing partners there is a chance mine will be too.

21 Replies

So sorry to hear about your difficult experiences-my heart goes out to you. I don’t know about EPU but my IVF clinic (which is an NHS clinic) is allowing partners at the 7 week viability scans. So hopefully yours might be able to come. Hope it all goes well for you xx

Jess1981 profile image
Jess1981 in reply to Purpledoggy

Thank you. Fingers crossed then 🤞🏻Oh congratulations on your pregnancy hope all goes smoothly and well Xx

Please just pick up the phone and ask them so you can stop worrying 💕

Jess1981 profile image
Jess1981 in reply to

I will when I get my appointment letter thank you xx

Hi Jess

I'm so sorry for all that you've been through. I had an early scan at EPU at 8 weeks due to recurrent miscarriage. This was in January & unfortunately partners weren't being allowed.

It might be different now and/or where you are, but rules are there to be broken. I'd suggest giving them a call and requesting under medical grounds that your partner comes (you could say you experience PTSD symptoms & panic...even if you dont). Lay it on thick and see what they say.

Wishing you all the best xx

Jess1981 profile image
Jess1981 in reply to Tinksy

Thank you. I'm so sorry for your losses and it must've been very difficult for you to go to a scan alone 🥲 makes me so sad to think of women having to do this 🥲 I think I might really push to go on mental health grounds. I hope that pregnancy is going well . Xx

I’m so sorry to hear everything you’ve been through. I went for an early scan at 8 weeks a couple of weeks ago and my partner was allowed in with me. I hope it’s the same for you and that everything goes well x

Thank you that makes me feel better knowing some are allowing partners hope mine do too Xx

My partner was allowed in last week. He wasn't allowed 8 weeks ago, so it seems things have changed a bit. Really hope that it goes well for you 🙏❤️

Jess1981 profile image
Jess1981 in reply to Cmh25

Thank you that is nice they are easing restrictions in some hospitals hope mine is too Xx

Different scenario however we've only just been allowed to have both parents at Sophia's hospital appointments due to our circumstances. It's definitely worth an ask and if they say no at least you've tried to get your husband the opportunity to go x

That is good to know- that shows restrictions are easing so that is suggesting things are improving. Glad you can bring your partner with you now, I would be so upset if I had to attend hospital appointments with Francesca alone 🥲 that must've been so difficult for you. Hope Sophia is ok? Xx

Just kind of got used to it. So now it’s odd. I do hope all works out this time Jess , you’ve been on a real rollercoaster 🎢. Hopefully now this pregnancy can work out . Fingers crossed 🤞 xx

My local hospitals EPU isn’t still, but I think it varies hospital to hospital x

Jess1981 profile image
Jess1981 in reply to cmbxm

I worry my EPU might be too but hoping not, it's horrible for women to go to scans alone and doesn't allow the father to feel involved. For them that is when it does feel real 🥲 Xx

cmbxm profile image
cmbxm in reply to Jess1981

They thought I was miscarrying and I had to go to the scan, bleeding heavily and on my own, it was awful, luckily my LO is a happy healthy 4 month old now, but I couldn’t imagine being told the worst on my own xx

Jess1981 profile image
Jess1981 in reply to cmbxm

Oh my word. I was so lucky I had my hubby in the 20 weeks scan when they discovered my daughter no longer had a heartbeat. I can't imagine getting the kind of news alone, yet some ladies have. I had no symptoms to suggest that she had died 🥲 It is mentally damaging for women to attend these appointments alone. It's like we've gone back to the 1950s where men weren't involved or at the birth. I feel sorry for the men they must feel pushed out. 🥲 If pubs are open maternity services should allow partners 🙄Xx

cmbxm profile image
cmbxm in reply to Jess1981

I’m raging that we can have 60,000 people at the euros semi final but a partner called hold his or her partners hand at an EPU scan, it’s enraging x

I know in nhs hospitals they are allowing partners for 12 & 20 week scans currently.

When I was under EPU last year during the peak of covid he wasn’t allowed for first scan but then they started easing and was allowed for 2nd scan xx

Congratulations Jess!

Lovely news to see as I know you have been trying a while.

Keep positive 💗💗 xxx can I just ask was this pregnancy natural or ivf. As an endo sufferer myself I am wondering what the changes are naturally xxx

Jess1981 profile image
Jess1981 in reply to Faith103

Thank you,. I've had quite a few losses but hoping this is is our rainbow. My story is it took nearly 6 years of TTC to get my endometriosis diagnosis. When diagnosed we had a chemical pregnancy endo re grew rapidly had my third surgery second month conceived our 2 year old daughter Francesca. We then tried again not thinking it would happen. We conceived straightaway but very sadly lost our daughter Amelia at 20 weeks pregnant last November. No known cause of death. Totally heartbroken we started to try again had another chemical pregnancy in January, followed by another miscarriage at 6.5 weeks. Referred to miscarriage specialist again couldn't find a reason why I was losing pregnancies except it's likely age related and a numbers game. And I'm now 7 weeks and 2 days and my first scan is Monday but all seems to be going well good strong symptoms and no bleeding so assume atm it's ok. 🤞🏻This journey has not been an easy one. I have t say after having Francesca and the endo being properly treated I am now able to conceive easily but staying pregnant has been an issue. Midwives will say having a baby somehow re boots the system and have heard of many ladies struggling to have one but once they have one they go on to have more with ease! Including IVF mummies. Also the pregnancy itself will have suppressed the endo from growth. I used an all in one bee supplement with royal jelly, propolis and pollen, serreptapse ( if that's how it's spelt?!) which eats any scar tissue which I've been on since my last surgery except in pregnancy I have to say my endo symptoms are majorly improved since that surgery and these supplements, I took fish oil as I have higher nk cells before this pregnancy to suppress them ( the miscarriage specialist agreed to the steroids in early pregnancy) a good pre antenatal vitamin supplement, evening primrose oil till ovulation to improve lining, turmeric and ginger tablets throughout cycle to suppress inflammation and low dose aspirin after ovulation to again suppress inflammation ( I have to take aspirin in pregnancy too) I used ovulation tests to optimise timing! Have to say this time we fell I hadn't cut back on caffeine and had a few glasses of wine on Francescas birthday! It was such a scrabble as I was so busy doing things for her party, we thought that month was a right off! But were okay with it shocked it was a positive test!!! Perhaps we were more relaxed I'm sure that plays a part. Never managed to relax with trying for Francesca but I think trying for a sibling we decided unless we could be more relaxed and not so stressed we wouldn't try again as it's not fair on Francesca to only be half there, the pressure was off as we have her whatever happened and it would always be ok. Because she is so precious to us she took us 7 years to conceive. Want to enjoy our life with her 🥰 Good luck with the trying really hope you get BFP soon Xx

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