Older but none the wiser: Good morning, Just found out i... - NCT


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Older but none the wiser

Ivyrae profile image

Good morning,

Just found out i am pregnant, i am 38 and i will have nearly a 20yr age gap. My head is all over. How have older mums found pregnancy? If you have a large age gap like myself how have you found raising them this time around?

12 Replies

Hey there! Congratulations! I can imagine you’re trying to get your head around the news.The age gap with my boys is only 3yrs however, I was 34 when I had my first and 37 with my second. For me both pregnancies were text book although I was fit and well prior to both pregnancies which may have helped,

The birth of my 2nd left me needing surgery and physio for some time which was really hard but I don’t think my age was really a factor.

Also, from another perspective as a child I was 13yrs old and my older brother was 16 when my mum had another baby and we absolutely adored him!!! Not quite the same age gap but hopefully someone else will have a more similar experience.

Good luck!!!

It’s well easy , we have 9 between us all in the 20’s , and having this little fella just make my day . Easy real easy you know what to do without even thinking about it . We love it that much she pregnant again ,November when the new one gets here . Am sure the wife would say the same . Although the birth was a bit on the strange side with the COVID in the hospital

I had my little boy at 42, he is 7 now. My older two boys are 25 and 23. The pregnancy was great and the birth even though it was my third c.section was the best and I healed really well. My older boys are great with him and love him to bits, and they are both his god fathers too. Enjoy it hun, you'll do great x

I’m 41 my kids are 15 & 13 so not as big as gap but big enough I’m 38w pregnant been pretty easy I don’t have bad pregnancies for sickness other symptoms etc I have got GD at 34w but diet controlled only all my reading have been fine which I didn’t have GD with my other 2. Better things I’ve had a lot more scans & midwife has been great.

We are still undecided as to whether we are continuing with the pregnancy. It has been a massive shock. Though my partner is supportive of me and whatever i chose, though i kind of wish he'd say 1 way or another. My head is in a right pickle.

gcw104 profile image
gcw104 in reply to Ivyrae

Big decision, our baby was planned for 4 yrs just took a long time to get here with 5 miscarriages it’s my partners 1st baby he’s younger so I knew at the beginning of our relationship he’d probably want a child if we could.

Hi Ivyrae, I'm 40 and pregnant with baby number 5, my eldest kids are 21 and 19 and I have an 8 year and a 15 month old. I found it so much easier with baby 3 and 4 as the elder kids helped anytime I needed it, you might think you will struggle because of such a big gap but you will find it so much easier, everything just comes naturally. You got this mama, you're gona do great. 😀

UpdateFinally got our heads around it and we decided to go ahead with the pregnancy and getting excited. However it seems like it isn't meant to be, i started bleeding last night my only pregnancy symptom was full and tender breasts thats all disappeared. I'm going to phone epu when I've finished work and get get checked out but i no longer feel pregnant. Considering we were conflicted i am absolutely devastated.

Annatinks-ar profile image
Annatinks-ar in reply to Ivyrae

My daughter is nearly 19 and my son is now 5m old. I too had an early bleed but it was all ok. Do you know yet if yours is?

In relation to pregnancy... the first 5m were so easy compared to last time - the remaining 3.5 were hell because he gave me unbearable hip pain. When I finally got physio support (delayed because of Covid) it made a big difference and it was gone within 2 weeks of giving birth.

I was still able to have a natural birth for which I’m thankful.

Parenthood is easier - so much easier than last time! Some things are bemusing as they’re so different (no weaning until 6m instead of 3 and baby only weighed maximum monthly not weekly) but mostly we’re relaxed and confident whereas my daughter I worried about everything. My daughter adores him - she’s no useful help whatsoever and has struggled a little with not having taxi mum as instantly available etc but there’s no jealousy there at all and she says he’s the best thing we could have done.

Covid had already taken everything we used to enjoy as a couple so we haven’t really had the sensation of giving up our freedom for the baby and we’re so happy to be parents again.

Ivyrae profile image
Ivyrae in reply to Annatinks-ar

Congratulations on your son. The minute i started bleeding all my pregnancy symptoms disappeared. I done a test we had left over on sunday morning and that was negative. We have decided to try but not obsess over it if it happens it happens. Though if the same happens i dont think I'd keep going I've been overwhelmed with loss.

Annatinks-ar profile image
Annatinks-ar in reply to Ivyrae

I’m so sorry. But yes, you’re in a better position now as you know it’s something you would be open to so now you can start pregnacare or similar vitamins just in case (these do no harm at all if you do not conceive but as an older woman I think it’s helpful for our bodies to be as optimal as possible)Good luck 🤞

Ivyrae profile image
Ivyrae in reply to Annatinks-ar

I had blood tests at the beginning of the year and they highlighted vit d and iron defiency so i started taking them supplements but i also started taking multivitamins aswell and evening primrose (which i stopped taking when i found out i shouldnt whilst pregnant). As i don't eat the best and I'm getting on lol. I do believe that taking the vitamins and what not helped to conceive in the first place.

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