Pros & cons of elective c sections: feedback needed pl... - NCT


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Pros & cons of elective c sections: feedback needed please (public sector and private one)


Hello lovely ladies! ❤️

I’m looking for some feedback on experiences of elective/planned c sections, whether done on the NHS or privately.... what did you expect, how did it go, how was the recovery, would you do it again?

Im considering it for myself, as a way to make the birthing experience as safest as possible, hopefully with little to no drama.

This is my first pregnancy (and probably the only one), I’ll be turning 41 one month before giving birth and have gone through so much hurdles and pain to get here... I need to be ‘in control’ as much as I can.

Thank you for your responses!!!! Xx

68 Replies

Statistically the safest way to give birth is vaginally and only have interventions if it is required for medical reasons. They're are way more complications with a c section than to a vaginal birth.

I think that people almost see a c section as the easy option but for me it's my biggest fear to have to have to have major surgery and be laid up for days unable to look after my new baby and toddler.

With the majority of vaginal births you can walk out with your baby hours after giving birth and are healed up within a few weeks, with C-sections you can't even drive till 6 weeks and the risk of blood loss or infection is higher after birth. Vaginal birth also helps clear babies lungs because the fluid gets squeezed out so they have less breathing problems than babies born via c-section, so a vaginal birth means baby is less likely to need medical intervention after birth.

It's definitely something I'd recommend taking to your midwife about and doing lots of research on, maybe do a hypnobirthing course or NCT course which teaches you about being in control during birth and knowing what stages you go through etc. I had an induction due to gestational diabetes and a vaginal birth and felt in control throughout because I felt prepared and calm for any situation.

Good luck with your decision, it's definitely not an easy choice, but it's great that you're researching your options.

ToughCOOKIE78 in reply to Seb9

Thanks Seb, my main issue is that this is my first baby and statistically first time mothers have a very difficult delivery, 9 out of 10 have high degree vaginal tears and often needing either instruments to help (forceps or ventouse) or an emergency c section. I am not afraid of the vaginal birth in the sense that I am not in control of it, it’s the others not being in control of it that scares me.

Then the added issue is that I work for the NHS and have access to reports where I read all sorts of mistakes made and that doesn’t help 😂

I know of people that had elective c sections and went home the day after and had a brilliant birth experience.

I’m not looking for ‘easy’, but safe.

I guess infections are always possible, even when a vaginal tear doesn’t heal and when stitches are needed after an episiotomy.

I guess delivering a baby, whichever way, is going to have some sort of ‘element of surprise’ and because it’s not a walk on the beach some sort of issue afterwards.

Im trying to establish which method is the safest and less traumatic for both the baby and me 😃thank you for your feedback! Xx

Mine wasn't exactly elective, but wasn't an emergency situation either. Low fluid, failed induction, no dilation and I said - screw it, get this baby out before she's in distress and c section was scheduled for the next morning.

If I'd actually planned the c section I would have talked more with the staff about the golden hour, washing the baby, doing the newborn tests, stuff like that, because it seemed they just did all the admin stuff before I could spend time with my baby.

I had my playlist I planned for labour playing during surgery, but the Drs were busy planning where to go for lunch!! and if I could do it over again I'd remind them it was a special moment for my family and ask them beforehand for silence during the birth.

It healed very nicely, no issues, but it is hard looking after your new baby and if you do decide to go for it, it's good to have plenty of support around you - you don't realise how much you use your abs for everything until you suddenly can't, and you have to be careful not to overdo it.

I'm trying for a second baby now and as Seb said above, I dread the thought of looking after a toddler plus a newborn after major surgery and I would definitely try and avoid another c section, although my experience with the first baby was really pretty positive. Good luck, hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well xxx

Thanks hun, that’s exactly my fear.... failed induction, no dilation....on top of then ‘is there a surgeon around’ ‘is the operating theatre free’ and so on....doctors are not very empathic, we’re just ‘another patient’ for them aren’t we? How rude discussing lunch while delivering your precious baby!

Oh you’re so right, even now I don’t even have a bump yet and I already struggle to get up from the couch, and my abs are still intact ahahahha

They say second deliveries work much better via vaginal route, your body knows what to do and it’s much quicker (such a weird thing is biology!)

Thank you for your well wishes 😃❤️🙏🏻Good luck to you on working on n.2! 🤩

I've seen horror stories about c sections, nicked bladder or bowel etc - but I wonder about how complications break down when comparing elective -v- emergency sections. I live in Brazil and in private hospitals the caesarean rate is around 80%, so they're obviously very experienced in the surgery. Perhaps with emergency there's more chance of something going wrong?

Yes that’s what I’m thinking about...emergencies are never nice!

Thanks for asking this! I'm in the exact position as you - 41, first baby and wanting safest option and best recovery for all. Vaginal tears etc. scare me! It seems very little info is given re: choices, benefits & risks. I'm due on July 31st, but want to be prepared!

Hey there! I don’t think the NHS gives you a choice 😂😂😂a section is allowed only on medical ground - my due date is 7th August, week after yours! 😃❤️❤️❤️❤️

NICE actually states if you wish to have a c-section just because you want one you are entitled to have one. Some consultants aren't happy to agree but according to NICE if you are refused you should change doctors. The NHS website also says some women chose to have a c-section for non medical reasons.

Not quite. NICE says that when a request for a section is made, the patient will be referred to a consultant to discuss whether it’s appropriate. Also a referral to a psychologist is made so they can try assess the anxiety of the patient in giving birth and try dissuade it from happening (because it’s obviously more expensive than a vaginal delivery). Honestly, I’m not looking to argue for it since I believe it’s in my right as you say.

Hiya, I used to work in maternity policy in the national NHS team. It is a legal right that a woman can request a c section and if the consultant is not willing to provide this, than they have to refer to a consultant that will. There may still be info on the NHS choices website, unless it's being pulled as was pdfs.

Found this that’s helpful to read:

There's perineal massage that can also reduce the risks of tearing. Eating 6 dates a day from 34 weeks is supposed to help labour progress much more easily. With less chance of complications.They've done trials on it.

Iv always wanted to give birth naturally but both times ended up in emergency, my last emergency was extremely traumatic wont go into details. I was adamant i was going natural this time but after a big discussion with my consultant the decision is to go elective. I asked the difference between the two emergency and elective and they explained elective they are highly skilled surgeons that will do your section on the day in my case a bowel surgeon will also be there, they'll be prepared a lot more than compared to an emergency where as you could end up with a junior surgeon being watched by their superior and not as prepared. Seen as though your not having any more the risks scar tissue and the complications wont affect you at another section if you needed one, but if you needed further pelvic surgery it can make things difficult and catastrophic things can happen im one of those who's bowel got caught and ended up very very ill. Also scar tissue can cause immense pain it has me to the point it affects my mobility. It can cause tube blockages future bowel obstructions, It can also not have any affects it's just something you need to be aware of as it doesn't really get discussed until your suffering. Good luck with whatever you decide 💗😘

Wow hun I’m so sorry you had such difficult deliveries, it’s incredibly difficult when things don’t go to plan! I’m a bit of a control freak so I like to have a plan for everything. Thank you for your honest feedback, I really appreciate it! Xx

I get what you mean regards the control element!! Good luck with your decision lovely xx

How exciting. I've being told that I will be induced so won't go over due date, so no chance of me catching up, unless you're early! X

Just jumping in here to say when I was having my first I used an Epi-No device (I posted all about it on here back when I was pregnant if you want more info) which is supposed to reduce chances of tearing or episiotomy. In the end I had a c-section so no anecdotal evidence about how it worked out but it definitely helped me feel more confident about vaginal birth. You can also have a look at different positions that are less likely to lead to tearing, you don't have to be on your back on the bed the way they always seem to show it on tv

Someone once told me that a cesarean is a very civilised way to give birth and I completely agree😂

Mine was elective in a way because my baby was breech and everyone including my consultant agreed that a Cesarean was the way forward (lots of ivf baby anxiety too made me happy to agree)

It was a great experience (even in the midst of COVID with my partner having to leave an hour afterwards). Epidural going in was virtually pain free, no issues with the wound and after 7 days I was off all painkillers. I had skin to skin in theatre and everyone was so kind and caring. Had the baby not had breathing issues I would have been allowed home 18 hrs after the birth.

It’s a major operation so there are lots of things to consider and not everyone has it as easy as I did, but an elective cesarean is much easier on the body than an emergency one x

ToughCOOKIE78 in reply to Kyell2

Thank you so much lovely, yes that’s exactly my point: trying to avoid an emergency section (done by a junior doctor). Having said that yes it’s major surgery and I’m not taking the decision lightly... we’ll see.

I’ve had natural birth and c section. My natural was long. And it went wrong. When I went to theatre after my daughter they’d told me they’d been waiting 3 hours for me to have an emergency section.

I planned to have my second baby naturally but led by specialist midwife and consult. It turned out baby was breech so they went straight for elective as of previous complications. It did go horribly wrong. Second section they planned for it to go wrong but it went text book. This time around for our IVF dream, they haven’t ruled out VBAC yet but depending what is in my previous notes it will

More than likely be a final c section. My husband wants me to have a section as he feels it will be more control and if things do go wrong as they can they’ll be ready.

I feel this time I have search and asked from other c section mums what preparations need to be in place and what questions to ask.

I think if you stress your concerns to midwife/consultant they’ll guide you and advise you.

The recovery after c section is a lot longer but for me personally it was better recovery than natural. But try to remember it is a major operation.

I am personally looking into more calming techniques as I feel it’s something that can only benefit me and baby.

With all deliveries complications can happen. You have to put your own health and mindset first.

Are you going consult led because of ivf? If so you should be able we go talk with them.

Wishing you love and hugs in your decision making. Xx

Thank you Dan, it’s so helpful to read about different experiences. So far I haven’t had a good impression of my midwife (or I should say the team, I don’t have one dedicated to me)... to be honest I struggle to see what’s their role about lol they are sending me to the GP for everything lol

My problem is that working in the NHS I’m aware of all the ‘dirt’ that usually patients are unaware of lol so that has definitely an impact on my decision of looking to get an elective section.


That’s such a shame that your midwife isn’t being much help. Have you spoken to any senior midwives?

I do visit my midwife at the GP surgery. I was quite shocked yesterday when I went that they didn’t listen or measure. They said it caused too much anxiety for mothers until passed 20 weeks.

I do hope you can make a decision for you. I think some others have said that they do have to listen and they do have to point you in the direction of someone that will help.

I can imagine it being quite hard working within the NHS and knowing things that you wouldn’t normally know. Keeping everything crossed for you. Xxx

Hey Toughcookie, it’s nice to see a few familiar names on this page now and being on the fertility page.

I am similar to you except a bit older and a few weeks ahead (currently 28 weeks).

I have been advised to opt for an elective c section around 37/38 weeks by my consultant (this means I will be 2 weeks short of my 43 birthday)!

My OH is a doctor and unfortunately sees the wrong side of child birth so he has a very different view on natural deliveries.

We have somehow managed to get this far and he doesn’t want to take any chances.

Like others have said if it is an elective section the team are much better prepared and it’s much calmer.

I think you just need to get as much info as you can and make the right decision for ur circumstances. Good luck 😘

Hey hun! How are you doing? Thank you so much for your feedback! Yep I can totally relate to what your OH thinks, I work in the NHS and know things that the public doesn’t know lol exactly my point, an elective section is all about having a prepared team of clinicians that don’t have to rush through it and can do a good job for both our babies and us! Xx

Obviously you have to do what you feel is right for you but I’d just like to put my experiences across. I’ve had 3 vaginal deliveries. My first was an induction and like you it was something I wanted to avoid because once they start messing (in my view), it can lead to more interventions. I almost didn’t go into hospital because 2 of my sisters had gone through inductions for different reasons. 1 ended in a csection and the other in a forceps delivery- I was terrified the same would happen to me. The only reason I actually went in hospital is because I knew I’d get little support emotionally with refusing and having to go for daily checks until baby arrived. I was induced using a pessary, and yes it took a while to get going. Had pethidine for early pain relief and then with the help of my mum and her fantastic breathing techniques I sailed through the end and gave birth naturally. My baby (who is now 7) was born absolutely perfect with no further complications.

My other deliveries were text book labours and water births.

My point is, for every scare story there’s probably 10 good ones. I learnt that the experiences of others doesn’t mean the same will happen to me.I understand what your saying about working for the nhs and being in the know, but remember that all the normal stuff doesn’t get documented the same so it may will give you a bit of a distorted view about the actual risks.

Also, once you’ve had a csection, even though it’s completely possible for a vbac it may just take further choices away from you if you go on to have more children.

Just to add, definitely look into hypnobirthing. It’s really amazing for helping you stay focused and feeling in control of your own body x

Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m glad you had such a positive first birth experience. X

I've had two vaginal deliveries and would never willingly opt for c-section. First delivery was long because i decided to have pethidine and epidural, if I could go back I would choose no drugs thats what extended the labour in my eyes etc, i had to have episiotomy because baby was actually stuck, but all healed fine, although I did spend a couple of days in hospital after. 2nd birth i got to hospital in the nick of time and delivered baby 10 mins later no drugs was the best birth ever, i had a small vaginal tear (not perineal) stitched up and healed very quickly. Myself and baby were home in less than 24 hours...i felt great and i was literally on a high for days about how amazing a womans body is. I used perineal oil to massage leading up to birth maybe that helped. I also feel i bonded with my 2nd way easier/quicker because of this. I think a lot of women are scared to give birth naturally these days when it is the most natural thing on the world. If there are complications you will then obviously be taken down a different route but having major surgery by choice and then having to look after a baby is not ideal, as c-section is major surgery with its own side effects. Not sure if your planning on breastfeeding but that would probably be more uncomfortable after a section too. I breastfed both mine and cannot imagine trying to do that having had a section. I think a lot of people love to tell their scary birth stories which put other mums off and tbh a lot are probably just attention seeking! There are things that can go wrong/will go wrong with any birth but you have to think positive a lot of women try to go for c-section as they are scared of birth. But obviously you have to make the best informed decision for you and your baby too, as i do agree that an emergency c-section probably wouldn't be as great as a planned one.

Thank you for your feedback.

My first birth ended up in an emergency csection. I was induced, got all the way to the pushing stage but faults were made by those caring for me. I ended up with a failed forcep delivery and therefore having a csection. Afterwards I was ill having got an infection which took two rounds of antibiotics to get rid of. The recovery was awful. When I had my second baby I opted for an elective but my midwife wanted me to have a vbac. But I was adamant I wanted to be in control. My elective csection was a wonderful birth experience after having a traumatic one. It was calm and I felt in control. My recovery, though painful, was easier than after my emergency one. A friend of mine had a vbac and her recovery was much easier than after her section. I think you need to way up the pros and cons. I knew what I was letting myself into the second time and I knew the risks. But I also know how I would feel if I didn't feel in control. Good luck with whatever you decide.

ToughCOOKIE78 in reply to GemX81

Thank you so much this is very helpful! That’s exactly what I don’t want....lack of care and faults made by staff. Yes weighting prons & cons it’s what I’m trying to do. Sounds like planning a section is much better though. 😘😘

I had an emergency c section & thought it was really organised & controlled environment staff were professional & treated us with care & baby was delivered within 5 minutes or so of going into theatre. However I spoke to a lady in my Maternity bay after who had children and different births ie vaginal, c section, v bac and elective said elective out of all experiences the Elective c section was the best, because it is even more calmer, relaxed and better and recovery too. She said to me if I thought my emergency c section was good then elective is so.mucch better and is why she is happy to have elective again

Oh I’m so glad that your emergency section went well! 😃I have friends who have had planned sections and their feedback is exactly like your friends one...a friend of mine went home the day after and after a year her scar is barely visible! 🤩thank you for sharing your experience!

I had an elective section on the NHS with my little boy and wouldn’t hesitate to have a second if I manage to get pregnant again. After 9 years of FTC, multiple miscarriages, failed IVF and finally carrying to term with donor eggs, I needed that element of control. I read all the information I could get my hands on to make sure I was as informed as possible. Having looked at the published statistics for the previous 5 years on births and the number of natural births that then required interventions with forceps/ventouse/episiotomy or even led to emergency c-sections, I knew electing to have a c-section was the only way forward for me.

I had no complications, was out of hospital within 24hrs. I was mobile and the pain was minimal (except on day 7 when I sneezed unexpectedly and felt like I’d ripped all the internal stiches 😂)

My midwife cleared me to drive after 2 weeks and I felt absolutely fine.

For me it was the safest, quickest and least stressful way to get my son in to my arms.

Oh I so understand you hun! I’m in the exact same position with multiple failed rounds and now pregnant with donor egg so need the birth experience to be absolutely safe and calm after everything I’ve been through. I’m so happy for you, everything went so smoothly 🤩hopefully it’ll be the same for me! Thank you for sharing your experience ❤️

I just wanted to say there are lots of none horror stories but people tend to not talk about them as much. My first labour was 4 hours long with no interventions. Very small tear so a couple of stitches and I was out walking the dog the next day and mostly felt like I had run a marathon with aches. I had my second yesterday morning at home in a pool. 3 and a half hour labour no tearing. Today other than aching and tired I feel normal. I took a hypnobirthing class and a refresher before my 2nd and it completely changed my view on labour. Obviously no one can guarantee how labour will go and some hospitals have so many more interventions than others.

Absolutely, and I’m glad everything went so well for you, twice! You’re a very lucky lady! 😃

Congratulations on your home birth. 💗That was my dream. So pleased you feel so well xx

This is my first baby too, but I am really hoping to avoid a c-section, but won’t know if I can until a final scan at 36 weeks. They told me initially I was very likely to need an elective c-section because of a laparotomy I needed a few years ago.

However, surgery went better than we thought and they have said I can have trial of labour. I think when I make my birth plan I will have a plan B and C etc.. I think I just have to be open for the fact this might not be fully in my control. I think they will be pretty quick to decide if things are not progressing well.. I know that will be an emergency as you say - as you don’t know who will be on. But I am pretty keen to avoid major surgery just before getting my very first baby to look after! It took me 8 + weeks to recover from my myomectomy. I know that is not a c-section, but pretty much the same wound/scar. I got infection in my internal sutures and wound opened up a bit at the corner. The pain was not too bad, but I felt it was hard enough when it was just me to care for - but this time I would have a newborn and I would love for it to be easier to do everything as I need and would want to from the start!

It took ages before I could drive again too.

My recovery post surgery went really well, but I was still in hospital for 2 nights after - 2 1/2 days. Was long enough 😇 I also work for the NHS and “hear” things - but I don’t have the same experience you have. Just to let people know - most NHS trusts have a policy to be open and transparent. Things can go wrong with every procedure, but that is why there is a consent process.

I am sure many c-sections and vaginal deliveries go well - but you also have things that can go badly wrong with either. So it will be a personal choice - so I do hope they will listen to your fears and your wishes when it comes to your own birth! Hopefully they will be able to support your decision!! 🥰

I will look into hypnobirthing - learn how to avoid adrenaline during labour. As that could slow it down I read somewhere. I have also been advised to start perineal massage from week 20, so will look into that.

I am still so scared of it all though - I just want my baby here safely!! But I also want to be safe myself - I want to be around! So it is a very difficult decision - I wish you all the best with yours!! And hope all goes well and to plan for you! 🥰

Oooops I meant to reply here but it’s gone below 🤣

I was like you wanted to avoid c section but ended up with one . Birth plan out the window & going in with an open mind can help with trauma after , otherwise a closed mind you will keep questioning everything. C section was fine a little sore for first few days but get up and walking helped recovery than sat still and remember you can also be sore from vaginal birth.

Thanks hun, I really appreciate you sharing your experience. Yes it is a personal choice, also because it’s very much down to everyone’s medical history. I’ve never had any abdominal surgery so for me there aren’t any more risks that the ‘usual ones’ when having a section.

Ahaha the NHS is everything but open and transparent 😂😂😂it let me down many time as a patient and as employee.

Like my gynaecologist says: for emergencies you use the NHS, for everything else go private. And I do that. And the experience is completely different. I’m lucky because I can, but at this point in my life my trust for the NHS is so little that I am completely disengaged. Xx

I am sorry your NHS experience is so poor - like say I work for them too, so must be a local issue. My current and previous Trusts have been fab too for patient care/safety. Looking after staff could be better😂😇, but I have seen this improve too - we got a staff “Spa” in my old job. So must vary in the country. Where I work we have statistics that are better than for private care, but it is in public health screening, so I am sure this varies too.

All my NHS experience as a patient has been excellent and can’t fault it - feel we are so lucky. Needed it for both elective and emergency situations. Never needed private care so can’t comment on that, but have worked in private facilities - I was still NHS employed and I must say that did not give me confidence. So it is very interesting we have such different experiences 😂😇

Anyway - hope it all works out for you! 🙏


I don't know much about c-sections and obviously you should go with whatever you feel comfortable with.

I wanted to mention a couple of things though: one is that you're talking about pros, cons, risks (which is definitely extremely important) and I wanted to also bring up the experience of giving birth. I'm sure you can have a lovely c-section experience too but I had a vaginal water birth in a midwife led unit (within a hospital) and it was such an incredible life experience... even now when I think about it it's so beautiful, it's hard to explain but I will always cherish it.

The other thing is that it's probably worth preparing for both, since you could end up having an unplanned vaginal birth too. Hypnobirthing is amazing and useful either for vaginal or c-section birth. And reading positive birthing experiences from both types of deliveries could maybe help too. I completely understand that safety is your number one priority but if you can also have a beautiful experience then even better!

P.s. I was 39 when I gave birth. Isn't 41 the new 21 anyway? :)

Good luck with everything x

ToughCOOKIE78 in reply to QT314

Thanks hun! I’m much more leaning towards the section, I don’t find the vaginal birth one bit attracting- put aside the pain (the pushing, weeing and pooing at the same time) - I’m not someone who thinks having a natural delivery makes me a better human being or mother. I think there’s plenty of women who think that (not referring to you of course!)

Unfortunately while working in the NHS I have access to all maternity data and statistics which also make me lean towards a planned experience. An unplanned vaginal delivery means that when labor starts, they can do the section, unless the patient is already dilated a lot which is highly unlikely on first labour ( when 9 out of 10 mothers require the aid of instruments for delivery and have third to fourth degree tears).

QT314 in reply to ToughCOOKIE78

What a nasty reply

Thank you so much for asking this - I've been reading the replies with interest as I'm in exactly the same position as you. If she doesn't come early I'll be 44 when the baby is born. She's my first after 4 rounds of IVF and I'm starting to think through my options. I'm currently 27 weeks. My added concern is that I'm on a high dose of Clexane due to blood clotting issues and you can't have a spinal within 24 hours of your last dose and I don't want to be off them for too long due to the risk of clotting. I'm not against a vaginal birth but my biggest no is an emergency section under a general and I'm starting to wonder if an elective section maybe an option to explore, especially as I know they won't let me go over and the number of people who have emergency sections after inductions is high. I see my Consultant at 32 weeks so I'll discuss it then but this has really helped xx

Hey Libsie! Glad to be helpful, my idea with having a section is to avoid an emergency situation of any sort and by having it all planned I’m hoping to have little to no drama to face for a positive birthing experience, especially because this is going to be my one and only child. Good luck to you hun! Xx

That's exactly what I'm thinking. Funnily enough my hospital has just released its birth statistics for February and they had 111 babies born, 62 were unassisted vaginal births, 18 were elective sections (16%) and 21 were emergency sections (19%). Sadly no way of knowing how many emergency sections were after an induction etc. Going to dig around and see if I can find stats for previous months to support my discussions / thought process xx

Good idea! Vaginal births will always be higher in numbers because the NHS tries to dissuade women from having sections due to costs involved (operating theatre, anesthetic) - and during the pandemic this will also be enforced because ventilators normally used for operations (in general anesthetic) are needed for Covid patients so...I am also worried that again, due to the pandemic there's less staff available on the labor ward as they are redeployed to ICU or other wards to help out with Covid patients.

Surely vaginal births will always be higher due to the fact that if able that is how the majority of women will choose to give birth

Hi there, I’m planing to have elective/planned c sections, I’m now 19 weeks pregnant.

I know for many ladies giving vaginal birth it’s the most natural thing but for me is the most horrific thing, even thinking about it makes me really anxious. From my first midwife appointment I have mentioned that for me the only way to deliver my baby is C Section, we are all different and although natural birth could be the safest way to given birth for some, for me it would be living my nightmares.

I have a few miscarriages and one at 12 weeks and that experience was a complete disaster for me, I wouldn’t want to go through it again.

I have friends that been through both and I have never witnessed the one who had c section unable to care for their babies, they could care for their newborn just like any other mums. One of my closet friend had elective/planned c sections after two natural birth as she wanted to feel more in control and plan the birth better.

I’m not encouraging anyone to choose elective/planned c sections over vaginal birth, I think it’s a personal decision and we have to be able to make this decision for our body.

Best of luck xx

Hi Linda! I’ll be 18 weeks tomorrow and we’re definitely on the same page! 😃I’m looking for a calm, positive and ‘drama free’ birth experience....I’ve been through hell to get where I am and I don’t want to risk things going wrong if I can. Good luck hun I shall be following your journey! X

Thank you dear, exactly on point.

I honestly feel judged by other women when I’m telling them C Section is my preference... not everyone has been through what I’ve been through...

In my case even my partner can’t face vaginal birth as he witnessed my last miscarriage...

keep me posted xx

Yes I do too, and I realised it after I wrote this last post. I understand people have different views and preferences, but judging and pushing own views on others is really wrong.

Miscarriages are such a traumatic experience. I had one at the end of the first trimester and it really changed me and my husband as well. I did surgical management and it was the most horrible experience. The pandemic had just started, hospital staff were panicking and I was alone. For 15 hours. In a room by myself. And my poor husband outside waiting in the car park. When they brought me back to my room after the op I found a sandwich on a table. The table was out of reach and I had tubes on my hands. I struggle to pull the table towards me. Couldn’t open the sandwich package though. They left me there for more than 3 hours with no water or food.

I mean, who does deserve this? Nobody.

I understand what you’ve gone through ❤️And I’m so so sorry.

I don’t care what people say, they can judge all they want- their judgment doesn’t touch me because only I know what I’ve gone through to be where I am. 😉

Goodnight hun xx

Oh my goodness what an awful experience 😢 I’m so sorry dear.

When we hold our beautiful babies we will forget about all these awful memories.

Well done for being so strong and making decisions that are right for you.


Was there a bell for you to press?

Nope! They were scared I had Covid because I was coughing (I was coughing because I was crying non stop and I explained that to them) and I was isolated in the room. One hour before they discharged me a junior nurse heard me crying while walking outside my door and came in for 15 minutes to keep me company and unwrap the sandwich. She restored my faith in humanity. Such a sweet and caring girl. I’ll never forget her.

Oh no sorry to hear that. They shouldn't assume that and at least give you a test to do. In my hospital there was a separate room for a covid patient and you would have this explained to you, not just treated like that. Was it generally a good maternity hospital though?

The lockdown had just started in March 2020 when that happened so they didn’t have tests to do yet, they had no guidelines and no separate rooms or wards for potentially infected people (I wasn’t one of course). It wasn’t a maternity hospital, it was a normal ward (called ‘hope’ can you imagine lol), I woke up after surgery in a room next to a man lol (and I thought: why they isolate me in my room but not now?will never know). Anyway, completely disorganised. Horrible experience. Glad it’s in the past 😉although I don’t think I’ll be able to forget it..

Oh goodness sounded very disorganised being new to them too but they should still have put patient care first.. Best to try not to think if you can't forget about it

This honestly breaks my heart... sorry dear xxx

Thank you ❤️

Hi, I had an emergency C section of my first child and 14 years later had a planned C-section and both went terrible for me I’m still suffering now my baby is four months old my stomach still swollen with my first emergency C section I lost 600 mil of blood the second C-section I didn’t lose blood but I’ve been in a really bad way since personally I wouldn’t recommend it but I’ve heard a lot of people have good experiences to but for me I just wouldn’t I will just try natural maybe Hypnobirthing relaxation techniques how are you I had a lot of good experiences on that. Hope all goes well let us all know good luck Xx

Oh I’m so sorry to hear Wendi, having such horrible time twice! What happened why did they go wrong? I hope you get better soon xx

I had an elective in July. Obviously my story won’t be the same for everyone but I had the most positive birth experience I think I could have had. It was on the NHS and I was lucky to be under the care of an amazing obstetrician who was open to letting women chose what was best for them. She did explain the whole statistically an uncomplicated vaginal birth is the ideal, but said that doesn’t quite explain the full picture because it doesn’t go that way for everyone. I was 38, would have been induced otherwise (my hospitals policy for IVF), had a larger than average baby etc - so was more likely to end up in an instrumental birth or emergency section. I wanted to avoid all of this. I suffered severe anxiety through my pregnancy and just needed a planned, controlled environment where I knew as much as possible about what would happen. Of course things can go wrong but...

Anyway, my section was carried out at 39 weeks. My first epidural failed and I needed another - there was no panic or rushing, everyone was kind and patient with my nerves. The whole process was really quick - we got skin on skin straight away then were taken to a recovery room where we had 1 on 1 care from a nurse who helped me breastfeed for the first time and took some lovely first photos of us as little family! I had some problems with my epidural wearing off so couldn’t walk properly for about 20 hours. The staff were really helpful and it didn’t stop me being able to pick up the baby etc, just meant they left my catheter in a bit longer. I was discharged the next day but we ended up staying another night because of a heart murmur. My recovery was pretty good. I’m not gonna lie, the pain was real for the next few days! Take it easy and keep on top of your pain killers if you do decide it’s for you. The only other thing I’d say is continue to take it easy even if you feel ok. I went on too long a walk after about a week (it was sunny and I wanted to get babe out!) and paid for it the next day 🤦‍♀️

Frankly, will get judged and you will get shit from some people. I certainly did. On one hand you’ll be told it’s the worst procedure - dangerous and with a really rough recovery, whilst simultaneously being told you’re going for the easy option. People will always have an opinion on how women chose to use their bodies, but do what you think is right for you. I knew outright that this was the birth I needed and it was. I’d definitely chose it again. I’m not saying it’s right for everyone at all, just that it was for me. One thing I thought interesting was that a different dr was working when I signed the consent forms and was less in favour of me having one. At this stage they are required to explain the pros AND cons of both a section and vaginal birth - she ticked the box to say she had even though she’d just done the cons of a CS and pros of a VB so this is what people are up against. It’s important to acknowledge that both exist but people often don’t seem to. My baby ended up being 99th percentile and I’m pretty small so we would have ended in an emergency c section. As my OB said, you don’t get a medal for pushing out a baby, you don’t even get a cookie!

Sorry for the ramble - Good luck whatever you decide xx

Wow Solly, what a detailed and helpful description of your experience. I’m sorry it didn’t go 100% as you planned it, but happy for you that you were given the option to choose. You’re absolutely right and I agree, everyone needs to be able to choose what’s best for them and their bodies. Sounds like you had good care though 😃AND you pre-emptied the emergency section which is a plus! 😃Im currently leaning towards a planned one, will have a few consultations and make a decision at some point. Thank you so much for sharing ❤️


Hey ToughCOOKIE78

I had my 1st baby in Aug 2019, she was I.V.F. and I was 40. We had been ttc for 5 years and had unexplained infertility. We were so lucky that after numerous failed I.U.I.s our 1st round of I.V.F. was a success. My worst case scenario was an emergency section but unfortunately that's what happened and our daughter was born at 40 weeks and 1 day. I had gone in to be induced at 40 weeks however it transpired after a number of hours that my waters hadn't actually broken. I so wanted to give birth naturally but after 26 hours and not being anywhere near dilated enough the decision was made that I'd have to have an emergency section. My blood pressure had gone through the roof and the baby was becoming distressed. I was absolutely devastated after all the hard work and totally terrified for our baby. I didn't stop crying all the way through the procedure. I felt like a complete failure and like my body had let my baby down. It was awful but as soon as they handed her to me and put her on my chest nothing else mattered. The recovery was as you might expect after major surgery but it was manageable and I healed well. I'm now 35 weeks pregnant with our 2nd baby, conceived naturally, and our 1st is 19 months old. I'm 41 approaching 42 and after discussion with my husband, midwife and consultant have decided on an elective section. I feel that after the emotional strain of what happened 1st time round I'd rather just elect to have the section this time. I feel much more prepared and have a better idea of what to expect. I'd hate to go through all the hard work of labour again for it to get to the point of another emergency section. I know there are risks either way but for me this seems like the best option. The recovery isn't easy and I'm expecting it to be a bit tougher this time round as we'll have a 20 month old toddler to deal with too. I'm lucky enough to have my husband off work for 6 weeks after I give birth which will be a huge help. You need to do whats best for you & your baby. Good luck x

Hi Snowdrop, thank you so much for sharing your experience! I’m sorry that your first birth didn’t go as planned, boy 26 hours of labor such a trooper! 😃I’m glad everything went well in the end, it must have been scary! I think you’ve made the right decision for your second baby, not long to go how exciting! 😍wishing you all the best xxx

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