Please please help if you can I’m desperate 💔 - NCT

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Please please help if you can I’m desperate 💔

anonymous1- profile image

I’m wondering if there is anyone that can help me - I’m so desperate right now. I’ve spoken to midwives, 111, out of hours doctors and no-one is giving me any support, I can’t find anyone that cares and it’s tearing me apart and I’m loosing all faith in the NHS

I’m 23, young and healthy I’ve had two miscarriages. My first one in July 2019 and my second in October 2020 after 15 months TTC. We luckily fell again in December 2020 and I am currently 4 weeks & 5 days. We had an early scan Tuesday just gone, the gestational and yolk sac was seen and was looking good, no sign of any issues bleeding etc. That night I had a tiny bit of pink spotting which stopped. Fast forward to today I had the same this morning havent had any since but my boobs are so on / off sore it’s stopped today and now I’m in full panic mode💔

I am not strong enough to go through this again, my mental health will spiral out of control again. I’ve spoken to the midwives they won’t do anything, I’ve called 111 they got an out of hours doctor to call me and basically said they won’t do anything because I’m under 6 weeks.. that is SICKENING!!!!!!!

I know people who have been in the same situation as me have found that their progesterone levels are low, got tablets and are now having a healthy pregnancy or another one the blood wasn’t getting to the uterus, put her on blood thinners and she’s having a healthy pregnancy. I’m not saying it would be the same case for me but if I can find someone who cares and could prevent it from happening again if possible I’ll take any Avenue I’ll even pay there’s no price you could tell me I wouldn’t pay.

Please any private ante natal care? Private blood tests anywhere? Please please if you can help me my hearts breaking!!!!!💔😭

23 Replies

Awwwwwww hun. Bless you. I know how your feeling believe me I've been there a good few times. Maybe try bupa if your looking for private tests. Just to say they can't test you for blood clotting disorders whilst pregnant but they can do progesterone tests. Im sorry for what your going through hun i know it's, hard. Hopefully its, just bubz inbedding in spotting is common around the stage your at. NHS wont look at us until 6 weeks unfortunately with the pandemic things are just not as accessible as before. Sorry i haven't been much help. Good luck lovely 💗😘

I will give Bupa a call tomorro thank you - honestly I’m trying anything I can. I’m in pieces I really am. I’m trying to be positive but that’s really hard given I have no children and have only ever lost them 💔

Just makes me sick all I hear “due to Covid” this “due to Covid” that. I don’t doubt this pandemic is bad but the fact is other health issues are still going on and they can’t be neglecting that. It’s just about finding someone who cares enough 💔

I know its sickening bless you hun. When i was going through reoccurring losses i could at least get emergency appointments with my drs i like you was desperate to try anything. I hope you get the help u really need hun. Please keep us updated 💗😘

I’m sorry that you had to go through this awful pain. Horrible isn’t it?

I have bloods tomorrow so I’m going to make sure I know my results this time and I’m also going to call my GP to ask to refer me to to Early Pregnancy Unit and I am just hoping they can help. I’ll also call Bupa see what my options are there.

The worst feeling is that I haven’t seemed to of found a nurse / dr / midwife who cares and that makes me really sad.

I haven’t had anymore spotting since this morning, I still have my lower back ache and my breasts are really on / off sore so I’m just trying to be positive it’s all I can do 🥺

I’ll keep you updated. 💗

It is really not a nice thing to go through. Can i ask what your bloods are for, who with?

It really is difficult they don't be interested till your booking in appointment which is around 6-10 weeks. Also some reocurrent miscarriage clinics take referrals after 2 reocurrent losses but most after 3. Your Gp would have to refer you though. Hopefully you will not need that though and you have a sticky little one this time.

Think positive my love i know its hard but spotting is normal heavy isn't 💗😘

Yeah of course - but to be honest I actually have no idea! Every time I have referred myself to my maternity department they always do a blood test so tomorrow I’m going to ask what for! I would assume of course to confirm the pregnancy but other than that I don’t actually know. I’ll let you know when I do!

I just think the lack of support for pregnant women all round even before the pandemic is absolutely disgusting! Each time I miscarried I was offered no support, no counselling nothing. Just to take a test in 3 weeks if I’m negative everything is fine. The first time I was never told what to expect what’s normal I was absolutely petrified, second time round I obviously sadly new what to expect.

I am in the process of writing a complaint to my hospital for the lack of support given my past history - covid or not it is not acceptable! I want to make a change for women like me something needs to be done. I’m not the type to sit back and let them get away with this!

Thank you for your kind words. I will keep you updated 🤞🏼🙏🏼💗

Your right the support just doesn't seem to be there, I've been quite lucky my trust are really good when it come to maternity and previous losses. But im always seeing women aren't acknowledged and going through losses and left without support. A simple explanation and understanding isn't hard plus counseling can really be helpful.

It will probably be a hcg test and then they'll do one again 48 hours later to see if its doubling that'll be great to offer reassurance.

Ill be keeping an eye out for your updates lovely.

💗😘

Hey try posting this on the Fertility Uk network on HealthUnlocked too - loads of people in similar situations & very knowledgable x

Could you send me the link please x

Hey - I don’t know how you use this forum but I have the ‘HealthUnlocked’ app - within the app you search for the communities you want to join for example I’m part of Fertility Network UK, Thyroid UK, Baby&Us and NCT.

Have tried to find a way of linking straight to the Fertility network UK for you but can’t find a way. On my screen they all look the same and peoples posts just come up and it just has the Community name at the top of that makes sense - it’s all part of the same big HealthUnlocked community xx

healthunlocked.com/fertilit... xx. I don't have the app. anonymous1 you'll have to join though once you click it might not let you in just try x

Brill thanks!!! X

No problem hun xx

Spotting is so normal. A scan won’t help you and may also irritate you and lead to more spotting, which could become a vicious circle.

The help you need is mental health related. We both miscarried at a similar time in October and I can’t imagine having to go through that numerous time. I understand why you’re so worried but your really going to work yourself into such a panic, and stress isn’t good either.

Refocus your energy if you can, DIY, something crafty, speak to your friends about something else. Lockdown sucks (I remember reading the miscarriage leaflets and it was literally a list of everything banned right now!) but can you look to plan a staycation for summer? Anything to occupy yourself.

Sending you huge hugs. It really doesn’t feel like it now but time will pass ❤️ And I’m sure you’ll get the answers you need.

Rather than 111 I would speak to your own GP. 111 and out of hours go will not have access to doing blood tests and follow up. I would ask if your own GP will give you progesterone pessaries, or if not to refer you on to EPAU or a recurrent miscarriage clinic. If you opt to go private, you could look at a private gp or a private hospital with a gynaecologist who specialises in this area.

Wish you the best of luck x

Hi! So sorry to hear about your MC and your current experience. I know there are private midwives that you can contact directly but not sure what exactly they do for you.I contacted one but was to cut my daughter's tongue tie. She was amazing though, she's a gentle midwife. Here's her website, apparently she also does antenatal care gentlebirthsandbeyond.co.uk...

I don't know where you are so she might be too far but just so you know that it is an option. Maybe if you google private midwives or gentle private midwives you can find one near you.

Good luck, I really hope you receive the care you so deserve xxxxx

The spotting can simply be your little one snuggling in, the sore boots coming and going is your hormone surges - so perfectly normal too. The blood test is likely to be hcg and they will be looking for that to be over 50 and doubling every 48-72 hours. Make sure they do the progesterone test too.

Spotting is very normal as your body flexes and stretches, getting ready for the next few months. Usually epu will tell you to relax, rest as much as possible with your feet up, and not to worry unless you have enough blood to fill a pad in an hour.

Scans at this stage generally have to be internal and this can cause irritation, which in turn can cause more bleeding, more stress and generally that is why they avoid them where possible.

Overall it is really important for you to be as positive and as calm as possible. The fertility network on here is so very supportive and you will find lots of knowledge and help. So keep posting any questions here / there.

Big hugs to you. Xx

I’m so sorry you’re going through so much stress right now. I completely understand how desperate you feel to try to do anything to keep this pregnancy or at least learn anything about your body to prevent ang future miscarriages.As others mentioned, you might not get much help from NHS at this early stage.

I was in similar position last June and decided to do some tests privately to at least collect as much information about my pregnancy progress as I can. You can for example order blood test from MediChecks website (there are other companies too). They send various blood tests kits to your home (to do finger prick test) and you send them back in post.

I have ordered Pregnancy progress test which measures levels of Progesterone and hCG. I actually ordered two of these and repeated hCG after 48h to see if the levels are doubling as they should in healthy pregnancy.

Once you reach around 6weeks, you can then go for a private ultrasound to do early viability scan and hopefully see beating heart of your baby.

I will keep my fingers for you that this time everything goes well. Sending you lots of positive thoughts!

anonymous1- profile image
anonymous1- in reply to JKT87

Hello & thank you for your kind words and being so understanding.

After everything I’ve been through I would just expect a little more support from someone who is supposed to care but no-one really does. Pandemic or not they offer no support to women well especially not at my hospital or GP anyway!

I have just looked on MediCheck website and so wish I heard of this sooner thank you SO much for recommending this to me. I have routine bloods today for my pregnancy so I am going to ask them to tell me my results and may have some done again in 2 days to make sure things are how they should be at the moment.

There isn’t a price I could put on reassurance and at least trying to save it if it can be saved it’s just a shame that what’s meant to be our great NHS doesn’t help us but I suppose when your paying the money you get the service and that’s the harsh reality of it - there aren’t many people out there in my position that are fortunate enough to pay. 💔

I am 5 weeks tomorrow so next week I am going to book an early private scan so that my partner is able to come with me then I have a 7 week with the NHS week after.

Thank you again - so much! 💗

Hi lovely, very sorry you're going through this and feeling so upset. It's very understandable what you're going through but try and look after yourself.

Have you tried the GP and say you want blood tests because you feel under the weather? Maybe ask for a routine test and mention a few things you'd like to check. Would they do that for you?

I think there are some charities out there specifically to support people who experienced miscarriages, I don't know any by heart but worth checking if there's anyone you can call to get some support and hopefully ideas on what to do next.

Wishing you all the best, hope you get some relief soon xx

Hello, I’m sorry it’s so tough at the moment. Miscarriage is such a horrible thing to go through. Just to echo what others have said, I would suggest you try and speak to your GP ASAP about trying to take progesterone pessaries. Spotting can be very normal but there is some data which says that if you’ve experienced miscarriage(s) and are bleeding in a current pregnancy it can be beneficial-let me know if you want the link. I had two miscarriages before my son was born and then two when we started trying to conceive last year. I didn’t feel very supported by my GP so I did see a private consultant and am now taking progesterone in my current pregnancy and I’m incredibly grateful that this has been positive so far as early scans have shown viability/heartbeat (I’m 9weeks 5 days). However, it isn’t a magic pill and certainly if you miscarry again I would make sure that you are referred on here NHS to a recurrent miscarriage clinic. Also as others have said there are some useful charities out there for information and support -the best ones ive found are Tommy’s and The Miscarriage Association. I hope things improve and you get some supportxxx

anonymous1- profile image
anonymous1- in reply to CassieJ

Hiya - thank you for your kind words. I haven’t carried on spotting at the moment but I really want to have things in place in case it happens again.. if you could post the link to be I’d be so greatful also the private consultant please?

I’ve called my GP but shock no appointments call back tomorrow - they literally don’t care! Xxx

CassieJ profile image
CassieJ in reply to anonymous1-

Here’s the link

tommys.org/about-us/charity...

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