New mum with no support due to Covid! - Pregnancy and Par...

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New mum with no support due to Covid!

Charlotteandleon profile image

Any advise on sleeping or settling a 4 week old baby.

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Charlotteandleon profile image
Charlotteandleon
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30 Replies
roxannacar profile image
roxannacar

What is the issue with him? Are you putting a routine in place? 4 weeks is very young so sleep training is not really an option at this point.

Charlotteandleon profile image
Charlotteandleon in reply to roxannacar

Just constant screaming even after a clean bottom and a good feed. Just seems to want to be cuddled but I’ve told not to fall asleep with baby on me and when I put him down he screams again. Just wondering if anyone has any techniques that they’ve done in the past that work

roxannacar profile image
roxannacar in reply to Charlotteandleon

I don't have any miracle solutions as my first two were hard work to out to sleep and ended up bed sharing so we could get some sleep. Have you made sure they he is well buried? Try elevate the cot head to tilt him up a bit as might enjoy being upright esp. if refluxy. Trying music / things like Ewan the sheep (although never worked for me some people swear by white noise.)

Charlotteandleon profile image
Charlotteandleon in reply to roxannacar

Brill thank you 🙂 I’ll try anything to get a few hours kip

roxannacar profile image
roxannacar in reply to Charlotteandleon

Make sure you nap whenever any one else can be around. Will keep your sanity !!

Blue1986 profile image
Blue1986

Hello and congratulations to you! Being a new mum is hard, there are so many things nobody tells you 😅 Things will get easier and you’ll feel more rested soon.

Have you tried any colic drops? I always suggest probiotics as they were recommended to me, I do believe they helped with sleep.

I wouldn’t sleep with baby on you, as they are so soothing and you could easily nod off, it happened to me a few times (thankfully daddy was always there).

Have you tried white noise?

Charlotteandleon profile image
Charlotteandleon in reply to Blue1986

Thank you it’s been difficult!

I will give the probiotics a try and white noise 🙂

Seb9 profile image
Seb9

At four weeks they don't have any concept of day and night yet, so seem to want to sleep on the opposite pattern to you. They also scream a lot.

I walked round the house for hours with baby, just singing lullabies to get over and over.

My little girl hated being put down and would wake every time I put her in her next to me or moses basket. At one point I was so exhausted I told my husband I thought I'd had a stroke, as I couldn't string a sentence together.

We ended up following the safe co-sleeping as on lullaby trust website. I'd feed her to sleep lying down and we'd get a couple hours rest. That first time I got a whole sleep cycle I felt like a new woman!

In the day, she'd contact nap on me so I watched a lot of boxsets and ate lots of chocolate hobnobs. I left the housework and cooking to others and just snuggled with baby. She's 15 months old now, so independent and far to busy for snuggles with me, so I'm glad I made the most of it when she was tiny.

It is such a hard period and I felt so overwhelmed by it, but they do change very quickly and it starts getting easier, or you just get used to the lack of sleep, I'm not sure.

Have you got any support? Partner who can do coming and housework? Or take baby for their bath while you sleep? Friends or family who can drop off food to you? Take advantage of any offers of help and don't feel bad about it. It's a really hard time and people who offer help will love to feel that they've made it a bit easier for you xx

Charlotteandleon profile image
Charlotteandleon

It is very exhausting. I will look up the lullaby trust :)

My partner has to stay away as works close to people who aren’t safe through this pandemic.

I’m doing it alone which I never expected. Your story has helped just knowing I’m not alone with the sleeplessness and everyone gets through it eventually. Might even subscribe to Netflix now and cross loads of box sets off my list and enjoy snuggles

Thank you

Seb9 profile image
Seb9 in reply to Charlotteandleon

Especially if you're doing it alone, do anything that makes life easier for you. If you're having to cook for yourself, you could maybe try Gousto or something similar, they deliver everything you need for a meal and you don't then need to think about it too much. Or get lots of friends and family to do doorstep delivery or even in our area at the moment we have a isolation group on Facebook who offer people support, you could see if your local area had anyone who could help with things like shopping or take away delivery. Lasagne was my favourite gift easy to heat up in the microwave and eat one handed over a sleeping baby. Can you have anyone in your bubble so you can have a sleep or just a bath on your own for a bit? Honestly you're doing amazing if you're doing this on your own, it's really hard and it's OK to find it hard and to ask for help when you need it. Xxx

Seb9 profile image
Seb9 in reply to Charlotteandleon

Especially if you're doing it alone, do anything that makes life easier for you. If you're having to cook for yourself, you could maybe try Gousto or something similar, they deliver everything you need for a meal and you don't then need to think about it too much. Or get lots of friends and family to do doorstep delivery or even in our area at the moment we have a isolation group on Facebook who offer people support, you could see if your local area had anyone who could help with things like shopping or take away delivery. Lasagne was my favourite gift easy to heat up in the microwave and eat one handed over a sleeping baby. Can you have anyone in your bubble so you can have a sleep or just a bath on your own for a bit? Honestly you're doing amazing if you're doing this on your own, it's really hard and it's OK to find it hard and to ask for help when you need it. Xxx

Charlotteandleon profile image
Charlotteandleon in reply to Seb9

That’s a great idea. I have used geusto before, would save me doing a lot ☺️

I did have a bubble but then it got complicated so now my grandmother is my bubble but she is at an age where she can’t help too much.

This support of this app is amazing, thank you x

Katja123 profile image
Katja123 in reply to Charlotteandleon

Yessss, cordless earphones and movies!

During the day you could wear the baby in a baby carrier, just not a rucksack style like ergo baby, which is not great for hip development. They sleep great in the sling. During the night, I have no other techniques except for co-sleeping. In my case I was so tired that my daughter slept on me almost the whole time.

After about 1,5 months I finally learned feeding in lying position, so I would just roll next to the baby, boob out, she grabs it, eats and continues sleeping. I would not even burp her 🙄😁

You could swaddle, try different swaddling options. The velcro ones didn't work for us, but the simple cloth worked better. And when we needed to put her down to sleep I would prop her up on her side with two towels - one in the front and one in the back, so she doesn't roll. They hate being on their back.

Also, before putting him down, warm up the spot with a warm bottle or something so he doesn't feel the change in temperature. Up untill 4 months sleep regression they don't have much deep sleep, so any change in surroundings and they wake up - a wise evolutionary trick.

Eme3sh profile image
Eme3sh

White noise and swaddling settled both of mine, now 2 and 9 months. The first 6 weeks is absolutely brutal, so the fact you’re doing it alone is amazing. I’d agree and say let him nap on you for a bit, eat biscuits and watch Netflix. I’d recommend Schitt’s creek!

Charlotteandleon profile image
Charlotteandleon in reply to Eme3sh

Thank you.

I will give white notice a try and schitts creek a look ☺️

yellowcircus profile image
yellowcircus

Charlotteandleon I had exactly the same experience. I was also suffering extreme sleep deprivation because I didn't know what to do as my baby was definitely not aware of the safe sleep advice! I eventually spoke to my midwife who said to co-sleep as safely as possible, and I have since read articles about the "4th trimester"- there are lots of babies like ours who don't want to be put down.

I also carry my baby in a sling during the day, means that I can have some time with my hands free whilst essentially cuddling her.

I have stocked up on frozen meals from COOK- a bit expensive, but they do a 10% discount for new parents.

Good luck!

Charlotteandleon profile image
Charlotteandleon in reply to yellowcircus

I will get a sling ordered today! That would be a lot easier to get stuff done.

Where did you find the articles about 4th trimester?

Thank you

yellowcircus profile image
yellowcircus in reply to Charlotteandleon

My breastfeeding support group has a page with lots of info...this was one of the links:

sarahockwell-smith.com/2012...

Charlotteandleon profile image
Charlotteandleon in reply to yellowcircus

Thank you 😊

ali1009 profile image
ali1009

Hey I hve seen comic drops and toys mentioned have u swaddled baby mine loved been wrapped up to have big sleeps would nap with blanket but at night swaddled so tight also recommend a sleep pod maybe if baby close to you on bed with that and when baby’s asleep transfer whole pod to where baby sleeps I did mine alone before pandemic and found tht having him close by in same room he was comforted hope you get some rest soon you could also use top Uve been wearing or sleep with baby blanket so your smell is always there xx

Charlotteandleon profile image
Charlotteandleon in reply to ali1009

I will give swaddling a try with a blanket that smells like me thank you 😊

AGKG profile image
AGKG

Hi. My experience is a solid routine. Bath bottle bed. But if constantly crying they might have colic. My friends Little one has it and constantly cries. They have also been put on the nutramigen formula from the doctors to see if its a milk allergy. I would speak to your health visitor they can go thru everything with you.mine has been a brilliant support . As with the pandemic we are on our own. My sister is in a bubble with my mother . So we can't see them

It will get easier. Take care . Keep us all posted x

Charlotteandleon profile image
Charlotteandleon in reply to AGKG

I am trying a routine bath, pjs, feed and bed but the screaming starts as soon as he drops boob! Don’t know if he’s just a very hungry baby or it is colic.

Tried swaddling last night and he hated it. I will speak to health visitor and see what she says 😊

Thank you x

AGKG profile image
AGKG in reply to Charlotteandleon

Also I bought a baby swing. Which could help and give you some free time. And also another gadget I bought which is a great distraction for them is a disco light. Was only about £6 on ebay and all the colours reflect and spin on the walls and ceiling. Its great to keep them entertained x

Katja123 profile image
Katja123 in reply to Charlotteandleon

It definitely doesn't sound like colics. This sounds more like he is in a growth spurt. Or he prefers to eat when the milk flow is strongest. You could try alternating the boobs and giving him both in one feeding. Also make sure he latches properly, so he can get milk out more efficiently.

Charlotteandleon profile image
Charlotteandleon

That’s a brilliant idea. I will give that a go 😊

He seems to love looking around so that should keep him distracted!

XxjustmexX profile image
XxjustmexX

Congratulations! Your best friend will be a sling (it was mine anyway 😂) my lb always wanted to be held just think they’ve lived inside for 9 months outside can be scary ❤️ I managed to get some stuff done while he was in a sling hope you find something that works for u both soon xx

Afrohair profile image
Afrohair

Best thing is to sleep when baby sleeps you will get used to it

Afrohair profile image
Afrohair

If crying when put down it's comfort he's after

Tiddly1984 profile image
Tiddly1984

My baby at 4 weeks old was exhausting too. I ended up feeding her lying down and she’d fall asleep next to me. Was the only way I got some sleep. Most newborns seem to want the closeness of a parent and so I think it’s only natural to have them close by, but must be safe.

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