Hi everyone, I’m hoping there is enough help and support here to help me. I’m around 6 weeks pregnant and since finding out my partner and I have completely stopped getting along. We have been together just over two years and planned to move in together at the start of March. We were in a really good place and I was happy. Lockdown made my anxiety rear it’s ugly head with a vengeance and I was signed off work whilst I got my physical symptoms under control and was medicated and sought CBT. Since my anxiety, I can struggle with my moods and sometimes feel like I can’t cope but I’ve had a lot of family stress which has affected me. I’ve always had really good support from my bf but just days before finding out I was pregnant again he took it upon himself to tell me that I had Bipolar and that my behaviour was cyclical. Even though I told him this wasn’t true, he pretty much built this case against me using my mental health to tell me I was ‘unwell’ and ‘not right’. Since then we have been fighting constantly, I am living in his house and he has asked me to leave a few times, which makes me acutely aware that I have no security here. Yesterday, I started feeling the first pangs of morning sickness which I struggled with quite a bit, then found out my mum was sharing our news to other members of my family which upset me as I miscarried back in august and I want the all clear beforehand. Instead of getting any support, he just tells me I am constantly miserable, never happy and says things like ‘cheer up’, ‘get over it’ or ‘move on’.
I am trying to explain to him that the way he is speaking to me is hurtful, but he mostly denies what I say and tells me I am upset because I am unwell and that I won’t address it. He often throws things in my face, telling me I am the common denominator and that I fall out with everyone. Yesterday, I was so upset with his reaction to me that I took myself off to try and calm down as often things escalate it an argument, he knocked on the door and asked to come in to speak with me where an argument started, then he left the room and shouted ‘I recorded all of that’ making me feel like I am going crazy. He doesn’t seem to understand that provoking reactions and recording me is so disrespectful. He thinks all of the negative is coming from me and instead of offering me support he just adds to the stress by going against me. What do I do? I don’t want to be pregnant on my own and I don’t have anywhere else to go, I could just about to afford to rent a one bed flat on my own but I don’t know how long I could cope. I only have my mum locally and I am unable to live with her.
I do get angry, I do struggle with my emotions, but I can’t help but feel like my partner is taunting me instead of helping me which makes the situation worse. Today I told him I had been had been sick and he said ‘get well soon’. I’m pregnant! I can’t make him understand his language is inflammatory and making it harder for us to get along. When I tell him he’s being flippant and rude he has a go at me for name calling. I can’t win. When I was pregnant back in August we were both so happy, and we’ve just been away for a few days for his bday and had a really nice time and got along well. Is it me? I don’t even know anymore. We have both said that we should seek counselling as I think we could both benefit from help but I don’t know if this is a relationship worth staying in anymore. If anyone has any helpful tips, if there is another way of communicating that I could try or what I don’t know. I just really need some support.