Is it rude to ask for no contact from employers? - NCT

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Is it rude to ask for no contact from employers?

SamPB
SamPB

Hello ladies

I hope you're all well? As the title asks, do you think its rude to ask your employers not to contact you during mat leave? I work as a nanny & due to take my mat leave in sept, however during this lockdown I'm constantly getting msgs from my bosses so dreading when I'm off (I'm planning to take the year) I'll be bombarded with msgs!

Another nanny friend who is also expecting has said that you can mention no contact during leave however I don't want to come across as rude, has anyone put this to their employer & if so how did you word it politely?

Thank you

22 Replies
oldestnewest

Are you on furlough now? Because they may then see you as technically still on their books and a resource they can tap into?

I can't imagine anyone would be so crass as to disturb a woman on mat leave, so i wouldn't let it worry you :) just take it as it comes, don't say anything now, but wait and see... I'm sure they won't but if they do contact you on mat leave, just reply days later and say, I'm really sorry, up to my neck in nappies and feeding with a demanding newborn!

And they will get the hint ;)

Thank you for your reply.

I am on furlough however due to return next week as normal then work as usual up until end of September.

Its just been quite full on during the time I've been off with msgs saying how they're not coping with the children etc & at times pressure to return earlier etc.

I think you're right in regards to hopefully they won't be that way & responding days later haha.

Thank you 😊

My midwife told me to refuse to go in unless I can have an isolated office. Pregnant women still need to stay at home currently.

SamPB
SamPB
in reply to JLLWM

Oh really? That's good to know as I assumed we were more at risk in the 3rd trimester, my bosses are employment lawyers so I always feel like I cant challenge things as they have the upper hand so to speak especially as they always send me links to gov.uk site everytime as if their proving a point 🙄

I'm due a telephone consultation tomorrow with midwife so may ask her for advice.

Thank you for your reply 😊

roxannacar
roxannacar
in reply to JLLWM

Guidelines suggest this is the case after 28 weeks. In first two trimester you are suggested to social distance and work from home where possible. You can find official guidance on Gov.uk

SamPB
SamPB
in reply to roxannacar

Thank you

Perfectly within your right to not want to be disturbed. Do you have any HR personnel? Before I went off on mat leave I told my HR person that I didn’t want to be contacted by anyone but her and only with important info. She totally understood. I didn’t tell my boss or colleagues not to contact me but they did contact me a few times before I had my baby so I kept my replies short and waited a while before responding. If they had sent me any more than they did I was either going to ignore the messages or get in touch with my HR lady just saying I wanted to completely switch off from work but I had been receiving messages. Definitely possible to do it without upsetting anyone.

SamPB
SamPB
in reply to Arya10

Thank you for your reply.

Unfortunately I don't have HR being a nanny but I'm wondering if I can contact PAYENanny how sorted my contract?

I'm thinking I should write in my letter how I don't want to be contacted unless its important as you say.

I mean it may not happen but I'm getting myself worked up just based on how the contact has been throughout lockdown it's always been in regards to the behaviour of the children & them wanting me to come back sooner (I mean literally the day after lockdown was imposed he msged asking if I could work due to them not being able to cope!)

I just felt there was no consideration considering the circumstances & already having my own child at home.

Thank you for taking the time to reply 🙂

Arya10
Arya10
in reply to SamPB

That’s really bad of them messaging you and causing you stress when you’re pregnant. Mine were similar - I was getting messages from colleagues moaning about other colleagues and complaining about issues going on. I’m not one for being friends with colleagues so I wasn’t best pleased at being bothered when I was heavily pregnant and on my long awaited mat leave. That’s why I spoke to HR beforehand, I knew they might bother me so I wanted to nip it in the bud or at least have her know that I may speak to her about if it did get out of hand. Hope they leave you in peace xx

SamPB
SamPB
in reply to Arya10

Thank you xx

I would wait and see what happens when you go on mat leave.

It’s all a whole new ball game with lockdown and so unexpected that it’s probably a shock to the system for them whereas you’re planning maternity so they should be more prepared by then.

If it was me I would leave it. You’re likely to miss calls/texts because you’re so busy so they’ll probably give up anyway xx

That's true x

Is it worth asking that they only contact you via email during mat leave and these will not be checked regularly - that way they can't see if you have read it and you have a good excuse ready if you don't want to reply. Also if it is an urgent request - they will be best to contact somebody else for support. It sounds like they have struggled with the realities of being at home, home schoooling etc - like many of us have - Maybe send them some links of alternative sources they can reach out for support with this - you are not a 1 woman support network! Maybe spend a little time preparing an information sheet using your knowledge with information & signposting so they have something to reference for future questions. Ask them to think ahead of any questions they may have that you can help them with now as you wont be around when on maternity. This will help them realise you mean what you say and empowers them to think ahead a little.

I think it is good to set your boundaries and stick to them - time with your newborn is precious - and you don't want to be worrying about if you are going to receive messages or not every day!

Good luck!!!!

Thank you for taking the time to reply, this is a very good idea x

Hiya, I think before you’re off on Mat leave they have to agree the best form of contact for you.

It might be good to set up a new email address and ask them to only use that - then you can check it on your own time, and it’s not a phone pinging etc.

I guess attempt to agree all this before you go off and try set the boundaries. If you want some Keeping in Touch days, they can be arranged through email.

Good luck! X

Thank you, I think setting up a temp email address is definitely a good idea x

Will there be someone covering your role during your maternity leave? If so you may find that contact is not as much of a problem as you fear. Right now they may be feeling a bit like fish out of water as they are trying to fill in themselves, but if there is someone covering the role while you are on leave it might be different. I'd probably wait and see, and in the meantime just mention several times how you are looking forward to maternity leave, focusing on your own child when they arrive, etc. Good luck 😊x

I'm not quite sure if anyone will be covering my role, I will be asking what their plans are when I return next week.

Before I found out I was expecting, they were planning on putting the younger child in nursery 15hrs a week for double interaction with children whilst the older one goes to school. I was thinking mum would possible work around the nursery hours as she is able to work from home. I think I'm just overthinking it all tbh, I'm quite an anxious person anyway so feel I'm trying to think too far ahead x

Furlough is a bit different as I think you are suppose to be available to your employer throughout, but strictly no working. I've certainly been told to regularly check my emails and to be available by phone should they need to contact me.

I understand this pandemic is hard on a lot of a families, but I'm struggling to understand what they think you can do for them!! As the children's parents, you would think they know how to look after them!

They shouldn't contact you on mat leave. Are they getting cover for you? On your last day, you could say "speak to you in sept 2021" 😂

SamPB
SamPB
in reply to Winter_Girl

Haha speak to you next year is a good idea! 😂

I'm not quite sure if they're getting anyone to fill my role, I'll ask next week for sure. The younger one was due to do 15hrs at nursery priory to be falling pregnant so wondering if he'll still go & mum works around their hrs.

I agree with the staying in contact during furlough, it just became too much. At one point because I put my foot down with returning the day after lockdown, the dad tried to use emotional blackmail by saying ok well mum will have to take sabbatical leave from work! I later found out from mum that she was still very much working from home. X

I would send a big goodbye email and just mention it at the end casually! How on earth will they cope when you do go on mat leave they would probably need another nanny!

SamPB
SamPB
in reply to Imo93

I think this is a good idea, along with a temp email address if they need to contact me.

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