1st birthday : I lost my daughter a few month ago, her... - NCT

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1st birthday

BabyChunk
BabyChunk

I lost my daughter a few month ago, her 1st birthday is coming up and I dont know what to get her as I will be celebrating the day. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks xx

29 Replies
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I am so sorry for your loss, this is just devastating, I can't imagine what you must be going through. No advice on the gift really as it is quite personal, but perhaps you could plant something in her memory.

Celebrating her birthday is a wonderful idea.

I hope you don't mind, but I looked back on your previous post and just wondered if you managed to speak to anyone about what you have been going through? I know you were looking for some advice on where to turn to. I really hope you were able to get some support.

Thinking of you xx

Do you have any favourite books from your childhood? You could buy her some books and read them aloud to her. Xx

I havent managed to get a hold of anyone, my doctors have just told me to self refer but theres waiting lists so just waiting atm. Thank you x

Did you speak to any of the charities suggested? Tommy's, SANDS etc? They may be able to offer some support in the interim. Aside from waiting lists, it will be very hard to see anyone at the moment. Xx

So sorry for the loss of your baby girl, I can’t even imagine the pain you must have experienced. It’s lovely to celebrate her, she deserves to be remembered on her birthday for sure. One idea is perhaps some kind of locket you could get for yourself and have it engraved with her birth date and a picture in. I also think the previous post of planting something in her memory is a lovely idea, you can also name stars if that’s something you might like xxx

Winter_Girl
Winter_Girl
in reply to Rox1388

A locket is a lovely idea. X

BabyChunk
BabyChunk
in reply to Rox1388

Yeah I've looked at naming a star after her as it's a nice keepsake. Thanks xx

So sorry for your devastating loss, I couldn't even begin to imagine the pain you feel.

Lovely idea to celebrate her short little life though, when would it have been her birthday? The only reason I ask is that everything will probably need to be sourced online if we are still in this lockdown.

We are all different and deal with things differently but these are just some ideas.

I would source some balloons, and I know some people in my area are delivering afternoon tea you could do something like that.

You could also source yourself a little keepsake, theres a company called 'the little keepsake company' that do some lovely trinkets, this would be something you can always keep close to you.

I also like the idea of planting something in the garden, which you could also source online, and do a little ceremony for her with a nice poem.

It will be a hard day there's no doubt about it. Lots of love xx

BabyChunk
BabyChunk
in reply to KayCan

It's her birthday 18th April. I have some bits already for her as my memory box started up straight away and I just want to put everything in it. I currently have a rose growing for her with scatters of ashes so part of her grows too xx

KayCan
KayCan
in reply to BabyChunk

You could perhaps decorate the rose with some memory tags xx

BabyChunk
BabyChunk
in reply to KayCan

Yeah I could, thanks xx

So sorry for your loss... no advice on gifts but my thoughts are with you and your little angel xxxxxx

I love what you’ve done with the rose. The locket is a lovely idea too. I’m so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you, sending lots of love, hope and strength xxxx

I couldn’t just read this without replying. My heart absolutely breaks for you and I cannot begin to imagine the pain you are going through.

The ladies have suggested some great ideas so you can remember your little princess and celebrate her life as she so deserves.

Thinking of you ❤️❤️

Thank you xx

So sorry for your loss. I couldn't read this post without replying, I think it's a wonderful thing to celebrate her 1st birthday though. Some lovely suggestions already but maybe Letting a big 1 balloon fly away?? Something I'd probably do is get a tattoo, maybe a dream catcher with her name written into the strings with her birthstone too maybe? Not everyones into tattoos but could be a nice way to always have her physically with you. Another idea is having a memory bear made out of her baby clothes. Theres someone I follow on instagram who's bears are literally the sweetest keepsake (I'm currently saving to have a few made myself) her name is clairesvintagetreasures, shes recently posted a few shes made and they're unbelievably good!!! Whatever you decide I hope the sun shines for you on the day. My thoughts are with you xxx stay strong!!!

The bear idea is so lovely! X

Seb9
Seb9
in reply to MummyMel

Please don't release a balloon, they end up littering the countryside. All the other suggestions are lovely.

BabyChunk
BabyChunk
in reply to MummyMel

I've got chinese lanterns and we've all wrote a little something on them. The bear idea is really nice though thanks xx

BabyChunk
BabyChunk
in reply to MummyMel

I also have a tattoo, I've done alot of the things already which is mak9ng it hard to find something special xx

MummyMel
MummyMel
in reply to BabyChunk

Maybe start a diary? I can understand why you're doing everything all at once, it's the only way you can cope and I'd probably be the same. But I dont want you feeling down when you cant think of anything else to do for her memory. The good thing about a diary, is you can write to her in it whatever emotion you're feeling, on good days and bad, you can find poems that youd want her to hear, write her little stories that you would've made up at bedtime, starting it on her first birthday is quite special too. It's just an idea but it could be quite healthy to have something to turn to when the pain is a bit too much to handle x

Hi a star or locket is a lovely idea. Maybe you could also do a donation to a charity in her name? There's lots of children charities that will be struggling for donations at this crazy time, perhaps you could do a sponsored walk or crowd fund to raise money for them?

A friend of mine who lost a baby does a big raffle once a year and raises lots of money for the ward that looked after her little boy. I know it's not something you could do on lock down but maybe something you could do in the future?

BabyChunk
BabyChunk
in reply to Seb9

Unfortunately I wouldn't want to donate as selfish as that is, my daughter passed due to medical negligence so I'm a little bitter atm. Thanks for the suggestion though xx

I’m so sorry to hear this, what you have gone through and are still going through is just awful, heartbreaking. I’m sending a great big hug too you 💕

What about a 1 balloon tie a letter to it and let it loose, a memory bear/cushion/blanket with her clothes on.

I just can’t imagine the pain your going through xx

BabyChunk
BabyChunk
in reply to Annh17

I have got chinese lanterns to release on her birthday, we've all wrote a little something on them to release on the day. Thanks xx

Seb9
Seb9
in reply to BabyChunk

Please don't release lanterns or balloons, they end up landing on field or littering. Lanterns have caused fires and the wires in them can injure animals of they land in their fields. I'm so sorry for your loss but these lanterns are awful xx

I’m so sorry for your loss and I can’t imagine what you are going through. I think some of these ideas are beautiful, and will help you commemorate your daughters life. I understand why people are suggesting it, but please don’t release balloons. Whilst it seems lovely, in reality it’s polluting the environment and their are much better ways of remembering her and the love she brought you. Alongside all the other suggestions, there is a company called ashes into glass, and they add a small amount of ashes into jewellery, like a ring or necklace. Again I’m so sorry for your loss x

I have a ring from her ashes already, first thing I did because I wanted her with me all the time. Thanks for the suggestion though xx

stephkp
stephkp
in reply to BabyChunk

I hate to say it, but I really wouldn’t release Chinese laterns either for the same reason except you are risking animals getting injured when they land or if it lands in a dry field, it setting alight x

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